Chapter 215: Big Kitty and Little Kitty

The scenery outside the car window whizzed past like a shuttle, making my head spin a little.

Maybe it was because I rarely rode in a car and wasn’t used to it, or perhaps it was just that Mom was driving way too fast.

We were on the highway heading back to our hometown. Mom sat in the driver’s seat up front, her face expressionless as she gripped the steering wheel. Since we got in the car, she hadn’t spoken a single word to me. The air inside the car felt so stifling, it was as if it had congealed into a solid mass, making it hard to find any flowing oxygen to breathe.

When I came downstairs all dressed up and pretty, I originally walked straight toward the front passenger seat.

But the moment I met Mom’s eyes, which betrayed no trace of emotion, I realized what it must feel like from someone else’s perspective—to be stared at by a pair of eyes as crimson as blood.

For reasons I couldn’t explain, an inexplicable fear made me change course. I opened the back seat door instead and slipped inside.

Even my cat tail curled up tightly in fright. Though my mother had never once hit or scolded me since I was a child, the mental pressure she exerted and her icy, indifferent way of dealing with me left a psychological shadow I just couldn’t shake.

If you touch ice for long enough, your hands will be frozen red and sore. The chill seeps into your very bones, and it’s a pain unlike the sharp stab of a knife.

When I was little and yearned for attention and love, I would have preferred it if my mother actually hit me on purpose.

Swallowing hard, I forced myself to adjust my breath, which I’d unconsciously been holding.

I opened the car window a crack, and the wind from the speeding car leaked inside, letting me catch my breath for a moment in this suffocating atmosphere.

Thinking about it, it had been ages since I’d gone anywhere with Mom. The last time I rode in her car could be traced back several years.

That car back then was second-hand, and inside there was a lingering smoke smell that never went away. I didn’t know if it was a bad habit of the previous owner or left by those middle-aged uncles who often rode with Mom.

Where were we heading that time? I couldn’t quite remember. It was far from that small seaside town—we’d driven for over an hour before arriving. I think it was just a sudden whim of Mom’s to take me to some local scenic spot for a change of pace.

What I remembered most clearly was that right after parking, I found a spot under a tree hidden by shrubs and retched for a long time.

After that rare mother-daughter outing, Mom never took me out again.

And I wasn’t the kind of girl who would act all spoiled and say, “I want to go! Mom, can you take me out to visit somewhere?”

For some reason, I just couldn’t bring myself to do it… Maybe it was the memories lingering in my mind, warning me that doing so would only earn me Mom’s contemptuous gaze.

That old, beat-up car was sold soon after we got back, replaced by the fancy new one we were in now.

I never paid attention to car logos or brands, but sometimes I’d see this car company’s ads on TV. It probably wasn’t cheap.

At the very least, it didn’t look dirty and shabby like the old car. Its exterior paint was a bright yellow, kind of like the big bumblebee in those robot movies I watched as a kid, though I hardly ever got to ride in it—today was my first time really experiencing it.

“Are you not feeling well?”

Huh? Someone spoke? Was I imagining things because I was too deep in thought?

Confused, I tore my gaze away from the monotonous blur rushing past outside the window.

I looked toward the source of the voice—seemed to be from right in front. To avoid Mom’s gaze, I’d purposely sat behind her rather than the seat diagonally behind, where she could easily see me.

“There’s medicated oil on the storage tray to your right. Take it yourself and rub some on your belly, nose, and temples.”

Mom’s voice drifted through the car like a ghostly wisp, chilly and hard to describe—almost as if it belonged to some eerie spirit.

If you took the words on their own, it sounded like a normal mother’s concern for her daughter.

But as the one on the receiving end, I couldn’t help but tense up. The cat ears on my head folded down softly against my skull, like blocks of tofu squashed flat.

As I obeyed Mom’s ‘order’ and reached for the bottle of medicated oil, I caught sight of myself in the rearview mirror—I’d turned back into a round-headed catgirl.

If not for the faintly curled cat tail behind me, I might look no different from any ordinary girl.

How ridiculous… Even though we were blood-related mother and daughter, had spent so much time together, and never even lived apart, why was our relationship this tense?

Was it because I was too twisted? Mom worked hard every day to earn money and raise me. Even though I could barely scrape by now, thanks to the part-time wages I made from helping out at the maid x kitty café, I’d never really had to worry about living expenses.

And that didn’t diminish Mom’s care for me. I basically never had to worry about money. Back in elementary school, when I hung out with Gu Fan, I could even use my extra allowance to buy him his favorite snacks and gifts, just to get him to pat my head gently in return.

Now that I think about it, it almost feels like I was using Mom’s money to keep a pretty boy.

No, no, strictly speaking, Gu Fan was more like a well-built pretty boy athlete—stylish clothes and a solid, muscular physique.

After all, his mom made him go to the martial arts gym from a young age. I used to take him a bottle of drink and watch him at the gym entrance, openly admiring his moves. When he finished class, I’d hand him the drink and we’d walk home together.

Back then, I didn’t think much—just wanted to be with him. Now that I’m grown, some of those innocent feelings have started to change without me noticing…

Or maybe, my own not-so-innocent nature was finally ready to come out.

Since it was just me and Mom—two women—in the car, there was nothing to be embarrassed about.

After closing the window, I lifted my shirt a little and rubbed the medicated oil on my flat belly. The cool sensation made me shiver.

It reminded me of the time I had my period, and Gu Fan massaged my belly with his big, warm hand. In winter, he was like a furnace—I almost wanted to cling to him all day and never let go.

I dabbed some of the oil on my temples and upper lip as well, inhaling deeply. The fresh, cooling scent filled my chest and lungs, making me feel much better. People who get carsick really should keep these kinds of remedies on hand.

I didn’t know how long we’d been driving when Mom expertly pulled into a service area and told me to get out and buy myself something to eat at the restaurant there.

This was the third sentence she’d spoken to me today—pretty rare, and probably more than the total number of words we’d exchange in an entire month.