Chapter 3: No! It’s My First Time—!

“Doctor, I did what you said yesterday and went back to that place.”

“That’s great. Tell me, what happened?”

White noise played softly in the background while Wuming listened to the patient and offered timely, reasonable advice. 

This was his job as a psychologist.

The work might look simple, and honestly it was. 

The main tasks were observing reactions, spotting the key points in what people said, and helping resolve them. 

That was exactly what a psychologist like Wuming was supposed to do.

The patient in front of him had turned his confusion about love into a full-blown mental issue.

“I went back to the spot where I first saw the goddess, hoping I might run into her again by luck, and then…”

“And then?”

“I saw her! That goddess I can’t stop thinking about was waiting for me right there, like it was destiny!”

The patient described the scene with vivid excitement. 

It sounded like a very positive outcome.

“So I walked up to her…”

Did he confess?

From the look on his face, that seemed to be the case.

“Then suddenly two huge guys appeared behind me, pinned me to the ground, and stripped my clothes off!”

The patient’s expression visibly twisted.

Pfft—!!!

What kind of story is this?!

Why would anyone suddenly strip someone else’s clothes?!

“Then those two strongmen dragged me into a little hut to drink with them, Doctor! Drinking was one thing, but they even showed me that thing!”

[C==3]

“What kind of love story is that—!”

Tears poured down the patient’s face as yesterday’s memory became an unforgettable nightmare.

“……”

If I had seen that scene, I’d probably react the same way.

Wuming didn’t even dare imagine it.

“Doctor!” The patient suddenly stood up in agitation and grabbed Wuming’s shoulders.

“I’ve realized women are just external possessions.”

“Don’t you agree?!”

“……”

Oh no, he’s enlightened!!

“Tell me, Doctor Wuming, what’s so great about women anyway! What’s so attractive about them!”

“What’s so special about breasts! Why do they need two?”

He’s had a full awakening…

“Um… Patient, please calm down.”

“I am calm, Doctor!”

The patient sat back down and pressed his palms together.

“【I】 【I】”

“【Am】 【Empty】”

“【Also】 【Also】”

“【Breasts two also】”

Hey, hey, hey…

He’s giving up on love just like that?!

Wuming felt as if a golden Buddha were sitting in front of him, having seen through the mortal world.

“Doctor, I feel like I’m cured.”

I think you’ve gotten worse!

The first patient of the day had been this explosive. 

Wuming used the limited time to gently correct the man’s thinking and turn him back into a normal person.

“Doctor, I’ll try again!”

“Wait for my good news!”

“Wishing you success…”

Wuming saw the patient out. He only gave each patient about an hour and a half. 

That was the most reasonable length in his opinion.

Love, huh…

Probably no chance for me.

After dealing with several more patients—one suffering from fatigue-related mental issues and another with family problems—Wuming finally had a moment of peace.

It was already one in the afternoon. He hadn’t even eaten lunch. 

Just as he was thinking about grabbing fast food outside, he remembered the blood clan girl upstairs.

She probably hasn’t left yet…

There was only one door in and out of the shop. No other exits.

During all the sessions he hadn’t seen her come down once, so he was certain she was still in the house.

Though she could have left through the balcony.

Some blood clan members do like doing that, right?

Out of curiosity, Wuming went back upstairs.

Sure enough, just as he had suspected, the blood clan girl hadn’t left.

She had changed back into her own clothes and neatly folded the ones she had taken from him, placing them on the table.

The moment she saw Wuming return, Serena tensed up.

“Um… thank you for mending my clothes, Wuming.”

“No problem.” Wuming answered flatly.

“…… What do you do for work, Wuming?”

“I’m a psychologist.”

It wasn’t anything shameful, so Wuming told her directly.

“So your shop… is downstairs?”

Wuming nodded.

But he hadn’t come up here to answer questions.

“Why are you still here? I already said you could leave, Miss Serena. I told you I can’t let you stay.”

“But… I really want to stay!”

Serena stubbornly kept trying to persuade him.

“I can do housework, clean the rooms, feed the cat—anything! Just let me stay for a while and I’ll do whatever you want!”

Serena pressed her palms together and begged sincerely.

Wuming’s reply was still the same—

“No.”

No matter what, he refused to take her in.

【Never cause trouble. Never get dragged into danger.】

That was the promise he had made to his mom.

And the girl in front of him was the very source of danger. 

No matter what she said, Wuming would not let Serena stay.

“This isn’t exactly a safe place either, Miss Serena. Please find somewhere safer.”

Wuming told her.

A safer… place?

Does somewhere like that even exist…?

Serena asked herself over and over. 

Where in the world would be safe? 

What place could the claws of those people never reach?

“We don’t have any… particularly special relationship, and I don’t want to get dragged into your danger because of it.” Wuming continued.

He had only saved her out of kindness. His responsibility toward her ended there.

Special… relationship…?

Wuming’s words suddenly flashed through Serena’s mind.

If it’s a special relationship…

Does that mean I can stay for now?!

The idea burst into her head.

“If you still won’t leave, I’ll have no choice but to call the Other Race Bureau to escort you out, Miss Serena.”

The moment Wuming finished speaking—

“—【Time】”

Serena suddenly spoke. Crimson flames ignited in her left eye, and everything around her slowed to a crawl.

That was Serena’s superpower—she could make the flow of time slower than a snail.

If becoming a special relationship will make you take me in…

She walked up to Wuming, grabbed his wrist, and sank her fangs into his little finger. Blood flowed from the wound.

“Ahhn~~”

Serena licked a drop of his blood, then stared at him in shock.

So delicious—!

His blood was the best she had ever tasted, ten thousand times better than anything she had drunk before!!!

Can normal people even produce blood like this?!

Although Wuming’s blood left her spellbound, she didn’t forget her goal.

She squeezed out more of his blood, bit her own finger, and mixed their blood together.

[Oath Ring]

Identical rings appeared on both Wuming’s and Serena’s hands.

This should do it…

The instant the ritual finished—

“Ugh—!”

Serena suddenly clutched her chest. It felt as if a sharp sword had pierced her heart, accompanied by a fierce burning pain.

Is it… the superpower acting up again…?!

Why now of all times…

And it hurts even worse than before!!!

Her ability vanished the next second. Time returned to normal speed.

“You—”

Wuming, completely unaware of what had just happened, felt a sting, then saw Serena stagger toward him with an extremely pained expression.

“Hey, what’s wrong?!”

He hurried over to support her and noticed the ring on his hand.

“What the hell is this?!”

“This…” Serena panted heavily. 

“This is the witness of our engagement. From now on, you’re my husband.”

Seeing her plan succeed, Serena revealed a relieved smile. 

Now Wuming had no choice but to let her stay.

“Now we have a special relationship.”

“You— what do you mean?!”

“It’s… exactly what it sounds like…” 

Before she could finish, the pain made Serena faint. Wuming, still clueless about what had happened, frantically called out to her.

“Hey! Wake up! Hey!”

No matter how he called, Serena remained unconscious. Wuming hurriedly laid her back on the sofa.

“What the hell is going on?!”

What is this ring she mentioned…?

Wuming looked at the ring and tried to pull it off, but after several attempts he was shocked to discover it was stuck to his finger like it had been welded on. 

No matter how hard he pulled, it wouldn’t come off!

He gave up on removing the ring and turned to the fainted Serena instead.

Why did she suddenly do this…?

She even resorted to something like this just to stay…

Helpless, Wuming could only wait for Serena to wake up again so he could ask her what was going on.

Lunch was definitely off the table now, though.

“Mmm…”

Serena woke up with a frown. 

She didn’t know how long she had been out this time, but the good news was that the earlier agony had completely disappeared.

“Ugh…”

Serena sat up in a daze.

“You’re finally awake.”

Wuming had been watching over her the whole time. 

He looked at her with clear annoyance and raised the hand wearing the ring.

“Explain exactly what you did and what this ring is all about!”

“……”

Serena looked at the ring on his hand. 

She hadn’t expected to faint from forming the contract with Wuming, and she definitely hadn’t expected to use her ability to activate the [Oath Ring].

“I… because you said we didn’t have any special relationship, I thought… if we got ‘married’ then you’d have to take me in…”

Serena put on a pitiful expression that made Wuming press a hand to his forehead in exasperation.

He had seen plenty of forced marriages, but this was the first time someone had tried to forcibly marry him—and the culprit was using him as the example!

How did I end up becoming the main character in my own gossip?!

“Can you undo this thing?”

Wuming wanted her to remove the ring.

He didn’t want to wear it and have people think he was married—especially not in front of his mom!

But Serena shook her head.

“I… I don’t know… This is the first time I’ve used it… I don’t know how to undo it.”

“……” That was the last thing Wuming wanted to hear.

He watched Serena weakly stand up from the sofa, nearly falling over.

“Hey!” Seeing her like that, Wuming moved to help, but Serena slapped his hand away.

“I… I can manage on my own.”

“I’m really sorry for disturbing you, Doctor Wuming, and for doing that to you. Thank you for saving my life.”

“You don’t have to worry about me. I’ll leave right now.”

“I’ll go find that… safer place you mentioned.”

“……”

No—something’s off!

Wuming smelled a scheme.

He watched Serena drag herself step by step toward the door.

At this point, anyone would think he would soften and stop her.

But in reality—

“Take care, don’t let the door hit you.”

Wuming said irritably.

Forcing an engagement on him was one thing, but he could clearly tell Serena was faking her weak state.

If she were truly that frail, she wouldn’t have refused his help.

And she didn’t look that strong-willed either.

“Ugh—!” 

Sure enough, when she realized Wuming still wouldn’t let her stay, Serena dropped the act.

“You heartless jerk!”

Serena stamped her foot in frustration, no longer looking like she was about to collapse. She glared at him with puffed cheeks.

“My apologies.”

“I am that heartless.”

I’m a sigma male! How could I fall for something like this?!

God Emperor above.

Seeing that tactic fail, Serena came up with one last move. This was her final card. If it didn’t work, she had no other options.

“If even this won’t make you let me stay…”

Serena suddenly stepped closer, fists clenched and full of killing intent. Wuming sensed something wrong and backed away until the wall cut off his retreat.

“You—”

Serena thrust her arms out, blocking both sides and pinning him against the wall.

“Y-y-you—what are you doing?!”

“Are you going to kill me for the inheritance?!” Wuming asked in panic. That was the only possibility he could think of.

He had actually been wall-slammed by a girl shorter than him!

This is ridiculous!

“How could I ever do something like that to my dear husband?” 

Serena wore a sweet smile that made it impossible to guess what she would do next.

“Dear~ hus~band~”

“Do you know how the blood clan reproduces?”

“……”

“……”

“Huh?”

Wuming didn’t understand what she was getting at.

“Want me to show you?”

Serena shook her hand suggestively and narrowed her eyes.

“Are you going to…”

Serena nodded.

“The Armstrong Cyclone Jet Armstrong Cannon?”

“You catch on quick.”

The moment she said those words, Wuming’s brain completely shut down. 

His face froze in philosophical contemplation.

Is that something a normal girl would say?!

For a second he even wondered if he had misunderstood. 

How could something this good—no, this bad—actually happen in real life?

Being forcibly married and wall-slammed was one thing, but discussing the origin of the species with a loli?

Impossible.

Hahahaha………………

“Doctor Wuming will definitely take responsibility, right!”

“So, Wuming.”

“Let me demonstrate it for you!”

“……”

Wuming felt as if he had been struck by lightning!

Oh no! This time he definitely hadn’t misheard!

She wants to reenact a locker-room battle!

Where did the whole “girls should protect their purity” thing go?!

Even though she’s a loli and exactly his type, he wasn’t that easy!

And was she even old enough?!

While Wuming was still frozen in shock, Serena had already started taking action.

【How to turn raw rice into cooked rice?】

Please watch the VCR!

“Come on, let me see you, Wuming—!”

—!!!

Scenes of a locker-room battle flashed through Wuming’s mind.

This kind of plot was something he could never have imagined. If it appeared in a movie or novel, people would call the writer insane!

“Come on already!”

“Calm down, hey!!!”

He was about to have his first time stolen by an adorable, charming loli!!!?

Gotta say, dying with no regrets—

No no no no no no—!!!

He couldn’t let it end right at the start!

“Let’s talk this over, Miss Serena!”

“Please don’t do this!”

Faced with the situation, Wuming’s sigma spirit instantly vanished. His attitude softened in a heartbeat.

I don’t want the Armstrong Cyclone Jet Armstrong Cannon—!

“I…!”

“Hah—!” (Serena yanked hard)

Wuming fought desperately to hold onto his last line of defense.

At this point, there was probably only one way to make Serena stop this crazy behavior.

A method Wuming had no choice but to accept.

“I—I agree, alright—!!!”

“Just stop pulling my clothes off already—!”