Chapter 3: System Initialization

In the end, I was completely overwhelmed and defeated.

A cute and fragile prince had no way to stand against the evil minion sent by the nagging Grand Demon King, Jeongjo.

“There was great satisfaction in our time together, Young Master. I shall call upon you again tomorrow.”

I should have just feigned ignorance—“Dongmongseonseup? What’s that?”—and played dumb.

But Jeong Yak-yong, realizing that I was more than capable of learning from the classic he’d brought, ended up opening the pages of  right in front of me.

This bloodless, tearless, trashy conman!!

He tricked me!!

But a prince can’t just turn and shout at a conman striding out of Junghee Hall with such confident steps.

Still, Jeong Yak-yong broke the Academy’s principle of teaching only one sentence per day to the adorable prince, and instead crammed an entire chapter of  into my brain.

Letting out a silent scream seemed to be the only way to soothe my indignation.

‘Young Master, I still think it’s unnecessary for someone as young as you to begin your studies so soon.’

‘R-really?’

‘Yes. His Majesty has already had various instruments installed in your quarters for your sake. For the time being, you should handle those and learn the workings of the world…’

Haah.

A few days ago, I should never have bitten on the bait Jeong Yak-yong tossed out when we first met.

Back then, Jeong Yak-yong seemed to think it most important to spark my interest in learning.

After all, Jeongjo had placed scientific instruments like the Cheugugi, Honcheoni, and Punggidae in the courtyard before Junghee Hall, and he suggested we start by leisurely playing with them.

Even for a total history novice like me, how could I resist when a famous Silhak scholar himself suggested it?

I thought I’d get to spend my spare time between ‘Fun Basic Science with Silhak Scholar Jeong Yak-yong and the Young Prince’ writing some novels, too.

‘Jeong Jipyeong?’

‘…Young Master.’

‘Wh-why the scary face?’

‘My thoughts have just changed.’

But soon, he revealed his true colors.

Before our fun science lessons, he slyly tested my level, saying he needed to check where I stood. The moment I recited and interpreted a few passages, the madness shone in his eyes…

“No… my novel-writing time…”

I know.

A rabid dog that seems quiet is scarier than a loud one.

Once bitten by someone like him, it’s nearly impossible to escape.

So, Jeong Yak-yong will almost certainly come torment me here in Junghee Hall again tomorrow, and the day after that.

My head throbbed.

Did Joseon heirs really live such a hopeless life?

As far as I knew, a king just gave orders as he pleased and did whatever he wanted—turns out, that was a total lie.

But what, am I supposed to cast out that evil minion, Jeong Yak-yong?

Even a history dunce like me knows he’s a once-in-a-century genius!

From what I’ve heard, it’s a virtue for a good king to work a genius until the verge of death.

King Sejong did it, and so did every main character in every novel.

So, I too should safely follow in their footsteps.

“But at this rate, I won’t even have time to read novels, let alone write them… Damn…”

But reality isn’t about to change just because I complain.

Anyway, Jeong Yak-yong is Jeongjo’s renowned loyal right-hand man.

There’s no avoiding someone like that. And if I get caught reading a novel in front of him?

That’s not just like getting caught reading fantasy novels in front of a teacher—it’s like news instantly traveling to an old-fashioned father who would tear it to shreds in a heartbeat.

Darkness clouded my eyes.

Wouldn’t it have been better to be born a commoner?

This is pure torture…

Just as I was twisting in agony, as if someone had read my mind, a familiar voice came from outside the door.

“Young Master. Is there something weighing on your heart?”

A good eunuch knows his master’s heart, they say.

My attendant eunuch, Sangtang (5th rank in the Department of Eunuchs), Lee Deuk-wan, had instantly realized that Jeong Yak-yong had tormented me.

“Lee Sangtang…”

“Then, why don’t you go for a bit of air as usual? Perhaps a little secret stroll through the palace…”

“A secret stroll?”

“Yes. Didn’t His Majesty himself say it’s important to understand the hardships of those below from an early age, and even encourage you to do so?”

A secret stroll in the palace.

In other words, dressing as a trainee eunuch—a Sohwan—and exploring the palace areas I’d never visited.

I did feel a little guilty about disguising myself as one of the pitiful children who, having become eunuchs young, were forced to work in the palace.

Normally, a prince has no reason to wander outside his own quarters or those of the royal elders.

But Jeongjo, for some reason, had long encouraged his son to roam every corner of the palace. Secretly, so as not to cause trouble.

At first, I worried it might be an issue, but apparently, it was fine—plenty of court ladies worked their entire lives in the vast palace without ever seeing the king’s face.

According to Halma-mama, both my great-grandfather and my father delighted in slipping out of the palace to listen to the people’s woes.

As an extension of that, my father wanted his young heir to care for those below from a young age.

Well, he might not have been a reformist king, but Jeongjo was certainly an “ae-min” king, one who loved the people.

At any rate, thanks to that, I could often escape the stifling Junghee Hall for a change of mood, which was a blessing in itself.

“Right! There’s still some time before I need to deliver the evening meal and pay my respects, isn’t there?”

“Yes. If you wish, I can take you somewhere you haven’t visited today. Shall I prepare Sohwan attire?”

“Great! Please do!”

“Your command is my will.”

Of course, I really wanted to read  right away, but that wasn’t going anywhere.

To shake off this despair Jeong Yak-yong had thrust me into, there was nothing better than a stroll in unfamiliar places.

So I left Junghee Hall, following my eunuch, Lee Deuk-wan, and explored the hidden corners of Changdeokgung.

In the process, I came to realize how childish it was to wish I’d been born a commoner.

“Look here.”

“…”

“For you, His Majesty, and the rest of the royal family, so many people are working so diligently.”

Court maids in the laundry room, beating mountains of clothes until their hands were raw.

The water girls, staggering under the weight of dirty washbasins after someone bathed.

The sewing room maids, arms full of sewing bundles, walking off covered in thread and cotton.

I began to understand why my father encouraged his young son to wander the palace.

It felt as if a message was coming from the distant main hall: to engrave in my mind those I would one day rule.

But just then—

“Hey, you! Sohwan!!”

While Lee Deuk-wan was away on an errand, a voice called out to me, not missing the chance.

Turning my head, I saw a familiar face—a saenggaksi.

“What? Buyong!”

“Haven’t seen you around here in a while! How have you been?”

The friendly girl quickly waved off her chattering friends and scurried over to me.

I did see her deliver a few strong punches to those trying to stop her, but I decided to pretend I hadn’t seen it.

“Mhm. How about you?”

“Oh, the usual. Busy dodging Inspector Sangung. Where’s Sangtang-nim?”

“Said he had some business.”

“Wow. You keep getting prettier, you know? Is it because you had your manhood removed?”

Buyong is a saenggaksi—a trainee court lady—I met on several secret strolls.

Normally, Sohwan and saenggaksi are supposed to avoid each other, but this one was… odd.

Still, thanks to her crossing the line, I got to hear stories I’d never have known stuck in Junghee Hall.

But, seriously.

It was embarrassing how little shame she had for a girl my age.

Even if I’m dressed as a little eunuch, it’s a bit much to blatantly stare at my groin with such interest.

And calling a healthy boy “pretty” is just…

“Actually, you came at a perfect time. I wanted to ask you something.”

But, as always, Buyong didn’t seem to care what I was thinking.

To be honest, the way she just barged in wasn’t always pleasant.

Still, I was curious how she’d react when I someday revealed I was really the Crown Prince.

For now, I was letting it slide for the sake of that future satisfaction.

Besides, the “empty” groin she thought I had would surely grow sturdy in time.

Even my father once insisted you mustn’t look down on even a stableboy.

I can’t disobey a royal command, right? Of course, that same Jeongjo was notorious for cursing out his ministers, but that hypocrisy wasn’t my concern.

Then, as I was grumbling internally—

“Hey, do you happen to have any interesting novels?”

My ears instantly perked up.

At the word “novel,” my mind snapped back to reality.

“Novels?”

“Yeah. I made a bet with Lady Choi Sangung and got utterly crushed.”

Lady Choi Sangung is in charge of educating the saenggaksi.

How shameless must this girl be to bet with someone of her rank already?

Then again, a girl bold enough to speak first to the Crown Prince would have to be this outrageous.

The problem was, she’d made a bold bet and gotten utterly destroyed.

“…So Lady Choi said: ‘Either clean the lavatories for a month, or bring me a novel that will satisfy me.’”

“Can’t you just do the cleaning?”

“Are you nuts? Do you know how cramped and filthy the saenggaksi lavatories are… Anyway, do you have any rare novels or something?”

Okay. That’s one for impudence toward the Crown Prince, and another for using blasphemous words.

But honestly, the only reason I endured this humiliation wasn’t just curiosity for her reaction when my identity was revealed.

That Lady Choi Sangung Buyong mentioned was someone I’d had my eye on for a while.

“You know Lady Choi has read almost every novel out there—her standards are sky-high, right?”

“Yeah. Didn’t you say yourself last time that she scoffs at everything?”

“Wh-who said I did that?!”

Buyong protested with a red face, but it was true.

That’s why I remembered that mere sangung so well.

It also explained why my ears perked up at the mention of novels just now.

“Her standards are sky-high, huh…”

“A-anyway!! If you bring something from the usual book-rental stalls, it won’t satisfy her. Sohwan, maybe…?”

Actually, I had another big problem besides having no time to write for myself.

Even if I managed to slip past all the watchers and wrote a novel, there was nobody to read it.

An author cannot exist without readers.

That was a truth etched into my bones by the web novel world, where only those who attract readers survive.

No matter how many novels I wrote in Joseon, if nobody read them, what was the point?

Moreover, a picky heavy reader like Lady Choi Sangung was even more useful.

Someone who’d read that many novels would know all the trends and clichés.

Unless her taste was completely warped, if I could satisfy such a heavy reader, the work might have a good shot at success.

In other words, Lady Choi Sangung was a prime candidate as an experimental subject or litmus test.

Though, of course, she had no idea.

In fact, the reason I tolerated Buyong’s impudence was the same.

Just from the way she talked, it was clear she was no ordinary person.

Even at her young age, she could smoothly read novels written in Hangul and even give recommendations and critiques—a genius, perhaps.

Sadly, it didn’t seem likely she’d get to fully use her talents in this Joseon era.

“Even you can’t solve this?”

“I’ve brought her every interesting novel I’ve ever read, but she just snorts and tells me to get ready to clean the lavatory… Uuugh…”

Buyong whined, her voice turning nasally with the threat of tears.

“Hm… If you can’t find it, then it’s basically hopeless among the palace girls?”

“Right…? Unless you or Sangtang-nim know of some rare novel…?”

“Not sure? Does Sangtang-nim even read novels?”

“Isn’t there any way? I really don’t want to clean lavatories for a month…”

Normally, I’d have said it was her own fault for making a reckless bet and losing.

But luckily for her, she’d picked the perfect topic.

Clinging even to a little eunuch, who turned out to be a prince brimming with creativity and writing talent—what are the odds of such an absurd turn in real life?

“So? What’s the deadline?”

“Really? You’ll help? Sohwan, I love you!!”

“Hey! Are you crazy?!”

***

But, kiddo.

Life never goes the way you expect.

That very evening, after agreeing to help Buyong, just as I finished calculating that I could probably squeeze in one short novel if I dodged Jeongjo and Jeong Yak-yong’s raids—

Disaster struck.

“His Majesty has decided to assign Jeong Jipyeong to the Crown Prince both morning and evening.”

This was when I went to offer evening greetings to my mother in the Central Palace.

She looked extremely pleased, but I was left speechless.

“M-morning and evening…?”

“That’s right. His Majesty was so delighted to hear of your brilliance before Jeong Jipyeong that he slapped his knee with joy.”

So, Jeong Yak-yong, the minion of evil, had gone and made trouble.

I’d played along with him, only for him to run straight to Jeongjo and tattle.

Satisfied, the Demon King Jeongjo instantly doubled the number of minion dispatches.

“H-huh…”

“Are you pleased, Crown Prince? I, too, thank the heavens for such a brilliant son and heir. His Majesty feels the same.”

But, of course, I couldn’t show my true feelings before a mother who doted on me so.

I even considered climbing up a persimmon tree somewhere in the palace and falling out to become an idiot.

But then all of Changdeokgung would be plunged into grief, so I couldn’t do that, either.

“Haa…”

So, having finished my greetings, I returned to Junghee Hall.

The poor, adorable prince had no choice but to lament, caught fast in the snare woven by the Neo-Confucian zealots.

Just earlier, I’d been boasting to Buyong that I’d take care of her problem.

Now, not only was writing a novel nearly impossible, even reading the ones Halma-mama and my mother had rewarded me with would be hard.

All I wanted was to read and write novels and be happy, even after falling into Joseon.

If I could just do that, I was willing to work hard at any heir training.

Why, oh why, did I have to be born as the son of the one king in Joseon who utterly loathed novels?

If only I’d been born as the grandfather who died in the rice chest—I’d have tried to write novels and mend relations with the Soy Sauce King or something.

This was a problem completely out of my control.

“What do you want from me! Why was I born in Joseon if this is how it’d be?!”

Of course, no answer was forthcoming to my half-mumbled grumbling.

As I vented my exploding frustration—

“If you’re going to reincarnate me like this, at least give me a Status or a stat window! Or maybe a cheat system…!!”

As if in answer, a strange phenomenon occurred in the room, now dark with the coming of night.

“…Huh?”

Unconsciously, I jerked my head up.

If what I just saw wasn’t a hallucination…

Was it that sliver of hope?

Without realizing it, I began to utter those words that shouldn’t exist in Joseon.

“Status…?”

No response.

“Stat window…?”

Still nothing.

“System…?”

Flash.

A faint light instantly filled the room, then vanished.

It was definitely from the direction of the folding screen behind me.

The sky had been clear all day, so it couldn’t have been lightning from nowhere.

---

※ Author’s Note

“人不可以口業取快於一時，子雖予僕御之賤，未嘗以這漢那漢呼之也.”

A person should not seek fleeting pleasure with their tongue. Even to lowly servants and coachmen, I have never called them “this fellow” or “that fellow.”

– Hongjae Jeonseo (a collection of writings by King Jeongjo)

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“This person is truly a wretch—it is a pity.” (to Seo Young-bo, a former Changwon governor)

“A brat who still reeks of milk, not even human, speaking frivolously and wagging his tongue carelessly.” (to scholar-official Kim Mae-sun)

“A frivolous fellow who can’t tell east from west, yet wags his tongue at his elders.” (criticizing Kim Yi-young)

“What sort of people are Hwang In-gi and Kim Yi-soo, to dare wag their tongues?”

“Old and powerless” (to scholar-official Seo Mae-su)

“Lacking human form, petty” (to Cheongju magistrate Kim Ui-sun)

“Weak and spineless” (to Lee No-chun, who held various high posts in the Three Offices and Ministries)