Since the cat’s bringing in money, I head out to buy some necessities and cat food.
Near a motel by the supermarket, there’s a parking lot piled with all sorts of appliances. “5000 wonnnn…” Looks like the motel went out of business.
Hundreds of small red paper-wrapped boxes are discarded, next to a hair dryer with long hair stuck to it.
Behind that, a mini fridge. The paper boxes are probably those—I checked, and they’ve got a long expiration date.
Even if the place went bust, couldn’t they take these? Why throw them out? I thought about collecting them to protect public morals, but I’ve got no use for them.
“Public morals, my ass.”
In a world where kids go, “Teacher, condoms?” public morals are a joke.
Leaving them here might actually be a trick to stop hot-blooded teen couples from becoming high school parents without money to buy these.
Honestly, my eyes went to those red boxes first, but I came here for something else.
<take what you need>
“Does it work? Looks fine, probably tossed because of the closure.”
A mini fridge. The kind with water bottles in motels. Why’s it interesting?
Its size is perfect for blocking the gate, and fridges usually can’t be opened from the inside, right?
“Wait, isn’t that like RiceCookerMan?”
Well, someone would have to crawl into a rice cooker to know.
“Hm.”
With the weird combo of RiceCookerMan and CatMan for double defense, RiceCookerMan has to cook rice sometimes, and CatMan, being a cat, might slack off.
So, relying only on them to block monsters perfectly is impossible.
“This dungeon’s an Ice Age dungeon. Gotta set it to max cold.”
It won’t be as sturdy as Mom’s supermarket pot lid, but it’ll stay cold, so maybe high lethality? Plus, it’s free, so who cares if it breaks?
“Up we go.”
[You’re back, Master!?]
“What’s with the ‘ah’?”
***
It’s midsummer, but carrying it wasn’t hard.
Thanks to my Strength stat, it felt light. With higher Strength, my senses must’ve sharpened too—I could carry it on my head with both hands free.
Twisting the cord into a nest shape on my head kept it steady without shaking.
[What’s that?]
“Can’t you tell? An appliance. This is a fridge.”
[A fridge? I saw a bigger one outside the window. Why do you need this?]
“Moving that one’s a hassle. It’s too big. This is an option.”
The small fridge in my studio could block the gate too, but I don’t want to move it, and if it breaks, it’s a financial hit.
[You… moved it!? No way! Are you firing me!? Uh, uh, uhhh!?]
What, acting like an older sibling losing Mom’s attention to a new baby?
I was gonna use a microwave next if you died. Your spirit form’s advantage is not dying easily.
“Not firing, but you’re backup and part of active defense, RiceCookerMan.”
I pushed the active defense strategy to shut down complaints and pressed RiceCookerMan’s power button.
The power strip’s short, and dragging one from under the computer desk is a pain, so I had to unplug RiceCookerMan to power the mini fridge.
Gotta check what came out of RiceCookerMan’s belly too.
“Nothing today, huh?”
Nothing in the rice bowl inside. No monsters while I was shopping, it seems.
CatMan’s off fetching since I ordered it and won’t be back for a bit. I plugged in the fridge and turned it on.
“Nice and cool. Why’d they toss a working one?”
Honestly, picking up trash like this makes me feel like I’m turning into one of those TV hoarders.
But now that it’s running, I’m worried it’ll break in the dungeon. It looks so useful.
Then the gate glowed.
“Ugh, haven’t set up the fridge yet… Fine, come on.”
What to smash it with? While I’m thinking, the gate’s monster already arrived.
[Greetings, O Giant of the Dungeon.]
This one straight-up greets me, addressing me directly. An imp. Level 100.
Here to push my level to triple digits, huh? The name “imp” shows, but it’s overwhelmingly tiny even among small monsters.
My eyesight’s good, but I might need reading glasses. I zoomed in with my phone—horns on its head, an arrow-like tail, and wearing Tarzan-style panties, the classic tiny demon look.
Its name and level are visible, and thanks to the Swordmaster’s memories, I get some info.
Small demons. They communicate with humans verbally, not telepathically. Not great in combat, but they cast annoying magic.
The Swordmaster’s memories say they’re CC-focused, pain-in-the-ass types.
But they’re fluent in human language and ecology, mimicking it perfectly, so some empathize with humans. Some even serve as human butlers. In past wars, they handled diplomacy for demons.
They’re more human-friendly than expected, often acting as diplomatic envoys. Diplomacy?
“Not sneaking in, I see.”
[Allow me to formally introduce myself. I am an imp sent by the Succubus Queen I serve. My name is hard to pronounce due to palatal structure, so call me Imp if you wish.]
“Oh, yeah? You can say your name. Better than just ‘human, human’ for everyone, right?”
Since it’s entering politely with an introduction, I’ll treat it as an envoy.
Calling each other “Imp” or “Human” feels off—names are better. Plus, as a Korean speaker with Hangul that can write almost any sound, I’m not thrilled about my palate being dismissed.
The imp bows its arms and gives its name.
[Understood. My name is Kekwekkyukaklukakye.]
Good grief.
“Your surname’s Imp, first name Pro.”
[Our pronunciation and vocalization differ. Can’t we account for species differences?]
“Fine.”
[If it’s alright, may I have your name?]
“SoySauceFactoryManager PoliceStationBarsAreIronBars WallThreeHanThreeGreatLightDogEastThreeFourGreatTeacherUnderTheDoorFlatGeneralUpperStateArmyGeneralMinisterOfWarGreatJudgeCrownPrinceTeacher.”
It felt like it was mocking me with that screamy name, so I threw out the longest, most obnoxious name I know with tricky pronunciation.
Try it.
“Can you say it?”
[S-SoySauceFactoryManager PoliceStationBarsAreIronBars WallThreeHanThree…]
Can’t, huh?
“If you can’t even say the other’s name, is that a negotiation respecting your counterpart?”
[My apologies. If the titles are your surname, may I call you SoySauceFactoryManager?]
I win, you little demon. I don’t know much about diplomacy, but I figure you start by overpowering their spirit. Reading history books wasn’t for nothing.
“Alright, Imp. Why’re you here? To surrender?”
[I’m here to deliver a message from the Succubus Queen I serve.]
“Oh? What’s she say?”
[The Queen believes conquering this place is practically difficult.]
“Then don’t invade.”
[But the Queen follows higher orders, so withdrawing isn’t easy.]
“The usual ‘higher-ups’ excuse. Go on.”
This feels like real diplomacy and negotiation. I’m getting the urge to sound more refined.
[If the Queen confirms all conquest attempts have failed, she instructed me to negotiate with SoySauceFactoryManager.]
I came up with it, but it’s a snappy name.
“What’s the deal?”
[We wish to discuss the compensation we can offer.]
“Isn’t it natural to suspect investments promising quick gains?”
[We don’t aim to eliminate you, SoySauceFactoryManager. We just want to borrow a path through this dungeon.]
“…..”
To a Korean who knows history, “borrow a path”? Since it’s an Imp, should I call it Im Sin-su-gil?
“Yeah? Fighting to death is easy, but lending a path is hard.”
I mimicked a historical line to sound detached and dignified. Feels smugly satisfying.
The imp groans and responds.
[Hmm. Does SoySauceFactoryManager guard this world?]
“What’s that mean?”
[Can we assume giants like you protect the world we live in?]
Oh, because I’m too big? “Don’t you think you stumbled into a giant’s world by mistake?”
[From what we know, that’s not the case. We believe humanity’s origins are the same here and there. Have you mastered gigantification?]
I don’t know either. Is the gate opening wrong, making them come in small?
Or are they from a tiny kingdom daring to invade our Gulliver world?
If they knew this was a giant’s world, they wouldn’t be foolish enough to burn with conquest ambition. They probably think this world’s on their scale.
But why? If you ask, no one knows. Should I probe this guy?
“Why do you need to know?”
[Wouldn’t understanding each other’s situations help find common ground in negotiations?]
“Negotiations? Sorry, you should worry about your life. You’re about to die.”
[What?!]
It’s not like they can storm in with an army or the Succubus Queen can barge in herself.
I’m the one who can use force and brinkmanship tactics. This ant-sized thing is awfully bold. As I raise my flyswatter, the imp flails, seemingly startled.
[Please wait! As I said, we have no intention of harming you or launching a full invasion here.]
They’ve ruined my wallpaper, burned my floor, given me diseases, and broken my walls. Now they say they didn’t mean to invade?
“You did.”
[We know our attempts failed against you, SoySauceFactoryManager. Then isn’t it right to change course?]
“Fair point. What’s the new course? Swaying me?”
[What do you desire? Gold? Or women?]
Crazy talk.
“Your gold’s that small, and your women are tiny too? Plus, there are no humans like me. They’re all dead.”
There are monsters like succubi that look human, but they still drain human essence. What am I supposed to do with a pea-sized succubus?
[We can send those trained in gigantification. We’ll prepare beauties even demons would fall for. And though the gold is small, in large quantities…]
Gold’s tempting, but still. Can they send 800 million won’s worth through this gate?
Not impossible, I guess. But 800 million? CatMan could fetch that in 80,000 days. My dreams don’t stop at buying a building.
“Stop the nonsense. Give me skills and treasures.”
[Skills and treasures?]
“You gotta make it tempting.”
Consumables that boost stats, accessories that raise abilities.
A prophecy book that reads fate, or a great ice magic book from a northern ice wall mage.
The Swordmaster’s memories are full of legendary beings. Those would be nice.
A prophecy book?
That’s life graduation. Leave the gate to RiceCookerMan and CatMan, amass trillions through investments, and… Oh, I should buy a school.
[It’s hard to say without knowing your goals. People usually value money most, and men want beauties next.]
Money’s value crashed, and I’ve said enough about women. Trying to steer negotiations to useless monetary rewards?
Anyone can see it’s a trick. If I negotiate with this otherworld and lend a path, what I need is…
“I want things to make me stronger. If you don’t want to be my enemy, bring treasures to make me insanely strong.”
[Ugh, hmm.]
“Otherwise, I can’t trust you. You’ve tried to eliminate me. Now you want a passage? I can’t trust that. I need power to control you. For negotiations, bring things to make me stronger… like level 40,000.”
Levels. Specifically, stats and skills.
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