I gripped the script tightly, my eyes coldly dim.
“Let me ask you one thing.”
“What?”
“Why are you delivering your lines like that? Your vocalization wasn’t great to begin with.”
Im-hoon’s acting wasn’t just a matter of vocalization. Maybe it was because he was focusing on his vocalization, but his expressions and overall tone had become awkward, as if he couldn’t convey any emotion. He needed to start with the basics of vocalization.
That must be why Senior Tae Jin-hwa had deliberately given him advice about vocalization.
He rolled his eyes.
“…Me? This is how I was taught to do it.”
“Where?”
“Where else? I learned it at an acting academy.”
“Acting… academy?”
‘This is shocking…’
The starting point of his crazy acting was an acting academy. It seemed the acting academy’s teacher didn’t know much about historical dramas.
“Which teacher did you learn from?”
“…A teacher who filmed old historical dramas.”
My head throbbed as if a bullet had been lodged in it. Was the problem the historical drama teacher, or was it him?
“Anyway, I just went where my agency told me to go. I’m also frustrated!”
“…About what?”
“I just did what I was told.”
I also felt it this time while taking historical drama acting lessons at Senior Tae Jin-hwa’s house. Historical dramas are a genre where you can’t just act however you want. But.
‘He couldn’t even do what he was told…’
“Is it just that you’re bad at it?”
I tilted my head, glancing at him.
“Hey. Watch your mouth. Just because you’re good at acting doesn’t mean you can say anything.”
“I’m just saying you’re bad at it. Should I say you’re good?”
“You’d get mad if I said you were bad at acting.”
“No? Why would I?”
“Noooo?”
I stuck my tongue out slightly at him as he contorted his face, latching onto my words. He furrowed his brow, clearly annoyed.
“I’ve been working hard too.”
“I know.”
“Oh, you know… what?”
It seemed better to just act the way he originally did, rather than the way he learned at the acting academy.
“Let’s go back to your original acting style.”
“…Go back to my original acting style?”
Im-hoon slowly shook his head, as if wondering what I meant. It was as if he was regretting how much money he had poured into the acting academy.
“Try acting the way you think for once.”
“…I don’t want to.”
“You rebellious spirit.”
“You’re not my mentor or my teacher.”
Couldn’t he try it once if I told him to? Since he couldn’t hit me with people watching, my hand holding the script trembled fiercely with frustration.
‘…He won’t do it because I’m not his teacher?’
“Am I wrong?”
I said in a low voice, as if threatening him.
“If you don’t want to get an earful from the seniors for acting like this… listen to me and act appropriately.”
“What if the reaction isn’t good if I do as you say?”
“If it’s good? What will you do?”
“I’ll do well, obviously.”
“If you’re satisfied after trying it, call me teacher.”
“Okay! I’ll call you Teacher Im!”
Im-hoon showed no signs of backing down. They glared at each other, sparks flying as neither would budge.
“Im-hoon, I heard this is your first time acting in a historical drama. How is it?”
Senior Tae Jin-hwa’s voice quietly cut in. Im-hoon blinked, as if hit by a sudden bomb.
“Historical dramas seem difficult. Especially since you’re the lead.”
“Ah… it is difficult.”
“It’ll get harder as you go. Do you think you can handle it?”
He meant, as the lead actor, could he handle it? I glanced at Im-hoon and was a little surprised. The dazed look from before had disappeared from Im-hoon’s face, replaced by a determined expression.
“I wouldn’t have done it if I didn’t have that kind of resolve.”
He squeezed his eyes shut as if expecting to be scolded.
But the reply that came was simple.
“Good.”
“Yes?”
The senior nodded calmly.
“With that kind of resolve, you’ll do well enough.”
“…Of course! I’ll work hard!”
“Working hard isn’t enough.”
“I’ll try as hard as I can.”
“That’s what you should do. Our drama could succeed or fail depending on how hard you work. But I think you can do well, Im-hoon.”
…Was that the true training of a senior? A sudden sense of emptiness washed over me, and I let go of the script I was holding. It was crumpled from how long I had been holding it.
As I pressed the script to flatten it, Im-hoon’s eyes, sparkling with spirit, caught my attention.
‘He’s completely different from when he’s talking to me.’
“Yes! Senior. Just trust me!”
How great would it be if he had that attitude with me too? Im-hoon smiled at me, his eyes narrowing.
“I’ll try to do well as you said.”
That bastard… He must be feeling good because he got the senior’s attention. Soon, Yeom Hae-jin returned and sat down, and the script reading began again.
This time, Im-hoon was starting the lines again.
“Are you saying… to marry Yeon-woo now?”
Huh.
A more stable tone than before. The vocalization was still lacking, but. Everyone in this place seemed to feel the same way as me, as they took their eyes off the script and looked at him.
“How can it be… when it hasn’t even been a day since So-hyun went to heaven…!”
It wasn’t a voice that emphasized the abdomen, but because his voice was naturally rough and good, it stuck in my ears.
As I thought, his original vocalization was better.
I could feel the atmosphere of the script reading improving due to the sudden growth of the lead male actor. It was over if the drama production company’s faces brightened.
I looked down again and looked at the script. It was almost my turn to say my lines.
“Our daughter must be in big trouble because she cries so much.”
I slowly opened my mouth and breathed.
“…Mother. My close friend So-hyun has died. She was the person I loved most. Isn’t it inevitable that I would cry?”
“Just think that her fate ended there. Isn’t it simple?”
Senior’s voice was filled with pressure, and my senses came alive as my spine tingled.
But the problem was that when I only listened to the senior’s words, I felt a sense of understanding, which hindered my acting.
‘This was a big problem throughout the acting lessons.’
I got scolded a lot too.
Yoon Hee-ae and her had a similar but different power to attract people, which was frustrating. I was being dragged around even more than during the acting lessons.
I couldn’t let this happen on the filming set. When my turn was over, Ryu-byeol opened her mouth.
Her clear voice penetrated my ears like the sound of a bell.
“Ah!”
She let out an exclamation like a scream and breathed roughly. Slowly, I took my eyes off the script and looked at Ryu-byeol. I thought it wouldn’t suit her in the process of capturing the character’s emotions.
“…Is this here?”
‘She’s doing better than I expected.’
As if she had actually come out of a tomb, she showed a vivid sense of reality. She pretended to wipe the sweat flowing from her forehead with the back of her hand and tilted her head.
“…What, here? Is this a drama set?”
At this time.
“You.”
Senior Tae Jin-hwa opened her mouth.
“Excuse me, who are you? Which mountain is this? I think I’m lost. Bukhansan, Bukhansan? Or Inwangsan?”
This last part was ad-libbed. It was proof that she had relaxed a lot on the script reading set. She was complaining that she couldn’t do it, but.
Senior Tae Jin-hwa smiled faintly and smiled with her eyes at her junior’s cute prank. As if she was satisfied with her junior’s acting.
‘…Why.’
Why? I was uneasy. Why could she act like that? Natural acting. It was a talent I couldn’t get.
I mulled over my thoughts as I looked at Ryu-byeol.
‘This is her first life.’
And yet she’s good at acting. It was truly unfair.
Here we go again.
Again, what am I uneasy about.
Again, am I envious.
I clenched my fist tightly and suppressed my anxiety.
“We’ll end the script reading here.”
With this, the script reading was over. Everyone went to do their individual interviews or stayed behind to chat with close friends.
“Ryu-byeol is good at acting.”
“…Yes? Me? Senior, thank you.”
“I really thought it was a filming set earlier.”
“Like a filming set…”
The conversation after this was faint. The inferiority complex that I had felt during ‘Hee-jae’ in college, which I had hidden deep inside, slowly rose up.
As I struggled to suppress the rising emotions, Im-hoon strode over using his long legs.
“Im Bada, I’ll acknowledge you.”
“There’s more?”
“Teacher Im! Weren’t you definitely sent to save me?”
“Huh?”
He’s going as far as salvation?
“I did as you told me. What was it that I learned at the acting academy? It was better than the historical drama acting skills. How did you know?”
“I told you to do it because your acting in Youth 2015 was more watchable.”
Im-hoon, who couldn’t hide the corners of his mouth from slightly rising even with a slight compliment, looked down at me and suddenly froze.
“Huh? Hey. But your expression isn’t good?”
“Me?”
“…Your eyes are fierce, like a wild cat.”
What’s fierce about it.
I deliberately showed a nonchalant expression.
“I’m better than you.”
“Teacher Im, how can you say that to a student? I’m hurt.”
“What…”
Hurt.
Just as I was about to retort, a savior appeared to free me from Im-hoon’s shackles.
“Bada! Please come for your individual interview.”
Drama script reading interview.
“I’ll get up first.”
“Bye, Bada.”
“Yes, Senior. See you on the set later.”
I got up from my chair after hearing the senior’s reply. Whether Im-hoon was making a fuss behind me or not, I went to where the staff was.
Throughout my walk forward, Ryu-byeol bothered me as if time had stopped.
“Hahaha! Senior, really!”
I felt so pathetic for reacting to her laughter. Even though I knew I shouldn’t show these emotions.
Feeling my lips stiffen, I smiled brightly as soon as I saw the interview camera.
“Hello, I’m Im Bada, and I play the role of Yeon-woo in <YoungYoung>.”
★★★
After the interview, as I got into the car, Manager Min Seo-eun handed me a bottle of water.
“But Bada, did something happen on the set?”
“…Huh? No. Nothing happened.”
“Your expression wasn’t good.”
Expression? My expression wasn’t good enough that even Seo-eun noticed. I guess I couldn’t control my emotions. I touched my face with my hand and gently loosened the stiff facial muscles.
“…Was my expression, really bad?”
“Yeah, it’s the first time I’ve seen it. You’re always smiling.”
That’s the remnants of my previous life, where I tried to smile often. My sunken, expressionless face was my true self, revealed without filtering.
“Why did you ruin it by saying it was a script reading?”
“…That’s not it.”
I was just annoyed by Ryu-byeol’s acting. I looked out the window and continued as if reciting.
“The tiring emotion of inferiority swallowed me up.”
“…Huh? Inferiority? Why, did someone do better than you?”
“…That’s not it.”
There’s no way she could do better than me.
“You too, maybe…”
“Yes?”
“Never mind. Keep talking.”
Manager Min Seo-eun looked at me and tapped the innocent car steering wheel.
“But is the source of that inferiority a sense of self-doubt that you can’t help but acknowledge because she’s good at acting?”
“…You’re quite the character too.”
“Even when you think you’ve surpassed it, there are times when she’s standing next to you, walking along with you.”
“…..”
“It’s scary.”
I thought I had reached the front first… But when I turned around, the other person had already gone far away.
“…Is she good at acting?”
“She’s good.”
“A lot?”
“Yeah. A lot.”
A child who understands 10 things even if you only teach her a little. That was exactly what Ryu-byeol was.
“You’re overflowing with talent too?”
“I know. You’re stating the obvious.”
“…You’re a severe case.”
I ignored the last words.
“But Bada.”
Manager Min Seo-eun turned her body back and looked at me.
“She probably feels the same way about you?”
“……”
“Inferiority is originally an emotion that everyone has. I also had times when I was envious of my sister and was caught up in inferiority. But that emotion wasn’t a bad emotion.”
“……”
“Look at me. It became a driving force for each of us to find what we wanted to do.”
Driving force…
‘Was that so?’
Maybe it was. If she read the script once, I read it twice, no, three times.
There were times when I felt like I was making no progress even though I worked hard, and I was often overwhelmed by inferiority. But I didn’t secretly vent it on her. Rather, I said it openly.
We fought like dogs, and then we reconciled like dogs. That kind of thing happened repeatedly during the theater club.
Ah. So?
‘…We couldn’t develop into friends?’
When I reached that conclusion, this envious emotion became futile.
“Sister, I realized something.”
“Huh?”
“Thank you.”
If not, I would have gone home and fallen into a swamp of worries and struggled. My expression relaxed and a smile came out for no reason.
“You know I’m grateful?”
“Yes! I feel relieved after talking to you, Sister.”
“I’m glad then. Since you seem to be in a better mood, I’ll tell you some good news.”
For some reason, Seo-eun’s smile was full of mockery.
“You know Kim Jin’s drama.”
“Oh? What about that drama.”
“I heard the drama writer is changing.”
The future has changed again.