The backyard was large, filled with the sweet scent of flowers blooming freely everywhere.
Since no one came to tend them, the blossoms had overtaken the entire area.
I plucked a soft pink petal and held it gently in my palm.
But the reason we came here wasn’t just to look at the flowers.
Our true goal was the small pavilion surrounded by the sea of blooms.
When we were kids, the flowers weren’t this wild—only a few scattered ones back then.
We’d sit in the pavilion, spacing out while looking at the flowers, occasionally chatting about whatever came to mind.
To outsiders, this might’ve seemed childish or boring.
But to us, it was the best way to spend time together.
I used a tissue to wipe the dust off the stone bench and sat down, finally answering the question Gu Fan had asked earlier.
“Just now… it probably has nothing to do with me, right? I can’t guess what made you so happy, Gu Fan.”
I clutched the hem of my skirt as a biting autumn wind slipped through the crumbling walls of the backyard, brushing against me and sending a tingling sensation through my cat ears and tail.
“I see… then let me tell you the answer.”
Gu Fan fidgeted with the drawstring of his hoodie, eyelids slightly drooping.
“I figured it out. I want to be real friends with you.”
“Real… friends? What do you mean? Aren’t we childhood friends?”
From childhood friends to just friends—wasn’t that something to be sad about?
Could it be… Gu Fan thinks being friends is better than being childhood companions?
Does he want to abandon the bond we’ve built up and distance himself from me?
I was stunned for a long moment, locking eyes with Gu Fan’s gentle gaze.
Slowly, like a block of ice melting, I realized what he meant by ‘friends’.
It seems… all the effort I’ve put in has been right.
We both regard each other as important people, nurturing a bond called friendship, and we haven’t strayed from our original path.
Hehe, I’m so happy.
Even though the wind howled coldly against my body, making me shiver nonstop, my chest still felt warm.
I wanted so badly to say something, to share this uncontrollable excitement with Gu Fan.
My gaze wandered as I thought about what to say, but when it finally focused on him, I lost the courage to speak, feeling my words weren’t carefully chosen enough.
“Cold? Wear another layer.”
Maybe my shivering was too obvious, and Gu Fan noticed.
He took off his hoodie, revealing a long-sleeve shirt underneath.
I took the hoodie but was too shy to put it on, instead holding it close to warm myself.
Hmm, if I wore the hoodie, wouldn’t this outfit look weird?
Although I know it’s not wise to lose warmth for the sake of style, I just wanted to be a little stubborn—to look pretty in front of Gu Fan right now.
But… would Gu Fan get upset if I refused his kindness?
If he really cares, then maybe I should just wear it.
I kept timidly glancing at Gu Fan.
He still had that slight smile on his lips, like a little sun warming me in this chilly autumn, under the cloudy, gloomy sky.
“Zhi Nian?”
“Ah…? Wh-what is it?”
Oops, caught sneaking a look.
Gu Fan looked at me with what seemed like helplessness, but there was no blame in his tone, so I didn’t feel too nervous.
“You’ve looked at me so many times.”
“Is it… that obvious?”
“Hmm… I guess so.”
Gu Fan nodded.
“I feel like you have something you want to say to me.”
“Um… I do, but I don’t know how to say it.”
I honestly admitted my dilemma, secretly hoping Gu Fan would help me out.
Although this is something that just requires normal language skills, what I really needed was Gu Fan’s affirmation and support.
“How about this: let’s keep looking at each other for a while, and whenever you’re ready, just say everything you want to say.”
“…Okay.”
For a moment, I couldn’t tell if I agreed just to keep eye contact with Gu Fan, or if I wanted to use this chance to organize my words so they wouldn’t sound so strange.
Anyway, that’s how we started looking into each other’s eyes—his warm amber gaze always carried a spring-like bright smile.
No matter how long I stared, the water’s surface only rippled slightly, without any big waves.
As for me, I couldn’t see what my own eyes looked like, but I guessed they were probably swirling in a chaotic mess.
Looking so closely into Gu Fan’s eyes… it felt way too unfair.
I’m not falling in love, okay? It’s just that I’d never looked so closely into someone’s eyes before.
The feelings swirling inside me were a complicated mix—hard to say if it was happiness or annoyance, sometimes wanting to run away, but also reluctant to leave that warm gaze behind.
I glanced at Gu Fan, then at the ground, thinking about trivial things to distract myself.
No, I still have to honestly tell Gu Fan how I feel.
I can’t waste his time any longer.
Calm… steady… I can do this.
After several deep breaths, I slowly pushed away the distractions in my mind.
“Gu Fan.”
“Ready?”
“Yeah, I want to know what I can do to repay you.”
For me, Gu Fan wanting to be friends with me was already a kind of favor.
I had to do something to repay him, or I’d feel terribly guilty.
Gu Fan probably didn’t expect my answer. He stroked his chin and thought for a moment:
“How about this—we exchange a voucher, like a coupon that lets you ask the other to do anything you want.”
“?!!”
Anything I want to do?!
My heart suddenly skipped a beat, hanging in the air for a long time because I was too nervous.
“Bring it on, I’m not afraid of you.” I shouted.
“Alright, I’ll go first. I need you to put on this hoodie so you don’t catch a cold.”
Is that all?
Just something this simple?
If it’s only that, then I feel shy to ask for anything excessive…
Without much resistance, I put on the hoodie and looked down at myself.
Hmm… it’s not as weird as I imagined.
The men’s hoodie was very loose on me, and wearing it felt like wearing a down jacket—pretty warm.
“Okay, now it’s your turn, Zhi Nian.”
When I heard that, my tail immediately perked up.
The things I want Gu Fan to do for me could pile up like a mountain, but if I ask honestly according to my heart, he might give me a strange look.
Thinking about that, I would shrink back, avoid it, and want to jump on the bed and bury myself under the blanket.
The feelings I wanted to pour out had accumulated deep in my throat, taking root and bearing abundant fruit.
But those fruits, hanging on the tree for so long without being picked, would eventually fall to the ground in this bleak autumn and slowly rot.
I didn’t want that to happen, so I lifted my head, my lips unconsciously parting.
“Can… you touch me? Whether it’s my head, my cat ears, or my face—I just want Gu Fan to touch me sincerely and see me smile happily.”
After saying this, I decisively lowered my head, refusing to look at what expression Gu Fan might have.
I didn’t understand the nonsense I was saying, but my mouth had taken charge, speaking out the filthy thought deeply buried in my subconscious.
All I could do was pray in this sacred place, the church, that Gu Fan would grant my wish.
“Oh? Is that so? Sure.”