The old man was dead.
He died before Cecilia could share her joy with him.
The pale portrait was placed among white flowers. The old man lay in the coffin, never to wake again.
When Cecilia returned, the lid had already been closed. She didn’t get to see the old man one last time. The heavy lid had completely separated him from her.
The old man’s wife and daughter had died many years ago; he had long been alone in the family. Therefore, no one cried for him at the funeral. The family members only bowed their heads in silent mourning out of politeness.
The funeral bell echoed in the distant sky, lingering for a long time.
The old man was dead. Should Cecilia have wailed in grief?
But she didn’t. She simply did exactly what the adults did, as they required.
Cecilia’s mind was a bit of a mess.
‘Is Grandpa gone?’
‘When will he be back?’
‘Why are the adults locking Grandpa in such a narrow coffin and burying him deep underground?’
“Rest in peace, Elder…”
“The elder achieved great military honors for the Holy Sanctuary and the family during his life. Because of a demon’s scheme, he was seriously injured, his cultivation realm was destroyed, and he returned to the family to recuperate. Now that his old injuries have resurfaced, he ultimately couldn’t hold on…”
“The elder’s wife died for the Holy Sanctuary, and his daughter even sacrificed her everything for it. Their whole family has made enormous sacrifices for the Holy Sanctuary.”
At the funeral, people commented on the old man’s past.
Sacrifice?
Hearing these comments, Cecilia’s eyes suddenly lit up.
‘Does this mean Grandpa will be resurrected by the God soon?’
‘Will Grandpa be able to return soon?’
***
After the funeral, Cecilia waited again with a heart full of joy. She sat on the chair where the old man often rested, waiting quietly, staring blankly at the fountain. She waited and waited, from dawn until dark, until the morning light was swallowed by the night.
But the old man still didn’t return.
“Grandpa didn’t come back today…”
“Grandpa didn’t come back today either…” Cecilia murmured.
She waited for the old man for several days in a row, but the familiar figure still didn’t appear. Soon, Cecilia’s father and brother also noticed her strange behavior.
One afternoon, her brother approached the chair and looked at Cecilia.
“What are you doing?” he asked.
“I’m waiting for Grandpa to come back,” Cecilia replied, as if speaking of something perfectly ordinary.
“But the elder is already dead.”
“I know. That’s why I’m waiting for him to return from the God’s side.”
The boy looked at Cecilia as if she were a fool, momentarily unsure of how to respond. After a long silence, he sighed and answered her, “He is dead, which means he has left this world forever.”
“Forever… left this world?” Cecilia was suddenly stunned. This was different from what she had been taught.
“Yes, so he will never return,” the boy continued. “Stop waiting. You will never see him again.”
At that moment, Cecilia suddenly felt as though something in the depths of her heart had shattered. The shards pierced her heart. It hurt. It hurt so much.
“No…”
“It’s not like that…” Cecilia spoke and suddenly stood up.
“Where are you going?”
Soon, to the boy’s confusion, she suddenly started running in a certain direction without looking back.
***
She suddenly realized — it turned out that death was not falling asleep, nor was it leaving for a little while. It was disappearing from this world completely. She would never see the old man again, no matter how long she waited, and no matter how much she wanted to share her joy with him.
The pain in her chest grew more intense, as if her heart were being torn into pieces. All sorts of strange emotions finally surged up in her delayed realization. Like a black tide, they rushed toward her from behind, threatening to swallow her whole.
She could only keep running forward. She ran and ran. Tripping over a stone, she scrambled up and continued to run forward, stumbling. When branches scratched her skin, she didn’t feel the pain or stop her pace.
‘If death is the end of everything…’
‘Then is sacrifice like that, too?’
‘Will I also have nothing left? Will I never be able to come back? Will I never see anyone again? Never… be able to see Miss Lu Mo again?’
Cecilia felt like she was about to break. She didn’t know what her future would be like, nor did she know where she was running. Vaguely, she saw herself reach a corner of the estate, in front of that low wall. She laboriously climbed the wall and stood atop it.
“Miss Lu Mo — !”
She shouted Lu Mo’s name. At that moment, the girl who had been practicing her sword skills turned her head in confusion.
Cecilia leaped. And just like that… she threw herself toward Lu Mo.
*Thud — *
It was the sound of two figures falling to the ground. Lu Mo caught Cecilia once again, her entire body pinned to the ground by Cecilia.
“Can’t you stop doing such dangerous things! You dummy, Cecilia!”
Lu Mo was about to say those words, but she quickly heard the sound of sobbing. Then, she felt her chest begin to grow wet. She saw Cecilia bury her head in her chest and start to tremble uncontrollably.
The girl who always seemed to be smiling, who was a little bit silly, cried for the first time in her arms.
“Waaaah…”
“Waaaah, ahhh — !”
No one can escape sadness. Sadness is the true devil, a black torrent that swallowed Cecilia whole. But in that black tide, Cecilia managed to grab onto a plank of wood.
Lu Mo became her final anchor.
Cecilia cried loudly. Only with Lu Mo could she let out all her emotions. She even looked a bit clumsy while crying; mucus and tears were rubbed onto Lu Mo’s clothes. But Lu Mo didn’t mind. She just gently stroked Cecilia’s head.
Somehow, that golden cowlick became entangled around Lu Mo’s fingers. No matter how Lu Mo shook her hand, she couldn’t get it off.
Time passed slowly. Finally, Cecilia stopped crying, but she still kept her head buried in Lu Mo’s chest, refusing to look up.
“Miss Lu Mo…” she spoke weakly. “Actually, there was an old man who always looked after Cecilia in the family. He helped Cecilia a lot… Cecilia always wanted to introduce her best friend to Grandpa, but she forgot every time… Cecilia even forgot to ask for Grandpa’s name.”
The ‘best friend’ she spoke of was, naturally, Lu Mo. Lu Mo suddenly remembered that a few days ago, Cecilia had been acting mysterious, keeping her in suspense. Had Cecilia originally intended to introduce that old man to her?
“One afternoon, Cecilia finally didn’t forget those things… but Grandpa died.”
“…”
Lu Mo felt Cecilia’s body suddenly stiffen. She didn’t speak, but continued to gently stroke Cecilia’s long golden hair and listen.
“Cecilia always thought Grandpa would be resurrected by the God and return one day. Cecilia waited and waited, but Grandpa never came back… Someone told Cecilia not to wait, that Grandpa wouldn’t return because he was dead. Death means… nothingness. He won’t see Cecilia anymore, and Cecilia won’t ever see him again.”
“Miss Lu Mo, does sacrifice also mean dying?” Cecilia asked.
“Pretty much,” Lu Mo didn’t lie. She had always thought Cecilia might not understand the meaning of death for a long time, but sometimes, growth comes when one least expects it.
“If Cecilia sacrifices herself, will… everything also be gone? Will the God not resurrect Cecilia? Will Cecilia never be able to see Miss Lu Mo again? What is the world after death like? Will it be very dark? Will it be very narrow? Will only Cecilia be left… remaining in that cold coffin?”
Cecilia asked repeatedly, her voice trembling violently.
“It’s so scary… It’s really… so scary.”
Cecilia hugged Lu Mo tightly, curling up in her arms like a frightened little animal. The golden cowlick was tightly wound around Lu Mo’s finger.
“Cecilia… is so scared.”
She no longer held back. She no longer endured. At this moment, she was no longer that innocent, naive, silly Saintess who didn’t understand life and death. She was just a crying, frightened girl.
It was a cloudy day, but by some coincidence, a faint light shone down from the edge of the sky, passing through a gap in the clouds and falling onto Cecilia’s body.
Lu Mo looked up and saw that beam of light. The sunlight didn’t make Cecilia’s body any warmer. Vaguely, Lu Mo seemed to see an ethereal thread appearing in the sky’s light. It connected Cecilia to the infinitely distant sky. It was as if with a gentle tug from the other side of the sky, Cecilia would be taken away from this world.
“Cecilia… doesn’t want to…” Cecilia sobbed again.
She didn’t want to die like that. She didn’t want to sacrifice herself so suddenly. For the first time, her inner feelings were in sharp conflict with everything she had been taught.
“!”
And for a fleeting moment, Cecilia was stunned again. She felt Lu Mo suddenly hug her back. She held her so tightly that she could barely breathe.
“Don’t be afraid,” the girl’s voice sounded in her ear. The voice was very soft, yet incredibly firm. “Don’t be afraid, Cecilia.”
Cecilia was clearly grieving to the extreme, but listening to Lu Mo’s words, she actually felt a sense of peace at this moment. Her heart didn’t hurt quite as much. It was like being carried toward the shore by that wooden plank across the dark tide.
“Do you remember the games of house we played?” Lu Mo asked.
They had played ‘Hero and Demon King’ many times. Cecilia played the Saintess, and Lu Mo played the Hero. Both would shout at the air for the Demon King to die, and after a mess of punches and kicks at nothing, the Demon King would be defeated by their combined strength. The Hero and the Saintess would return in triumph.
“Next time, you continue being the Saintess, and I’ll be the Knight. How about that?”
Knights had always been peripheral characters in a Hero’s party. Their stories weren’t recorded in epics, and in stories, they were always supporting characters that no one cared about. Their only duty was to protect the Saintess. Until death.
“Huh?” Cecilia was a bit confused. She didn’t know why Lu Mo would suddenly mention this.
“I will become your knight,” Lu Mo said. “I don’t know what the world after sacrifice is like. I don’t know if the God will really resurrect the Saintess. But I know only one thing. I will protect you, you silly Saintess. As long as I am still alive, I will absolutely never let you die.”
“!”
Cecilia looked up sharply, her teary, swollen eyes meeting Lu Mo’s gaze. She was astonished that this girl, who was about the same age as her, could seriously say such words and have such a deep look in her eyes.
In this moment, it was as if what Lu Mo said wasn’t some script line, but a vow. It entwined their souls, and in this moment… it transcended time.
“No one can stop me from meeting you. And no one can take you away from me — “
Lu Mo spoke, embracing the grieving Cecilia tightly once more. And her gaze, at this moment, pierced through the girl’s hair to look at that sliver of daylight. Looking at… that faint, ethereal, transparent thread.
‘Even the God cannot.’
She said softly in her heart.