Chapter 46: The estrangement of sons

In the days that followed, Siyuan spoke to her much less.

Aside from necessary exchanges, he almost never initiated conversation with Zheng Yang.

Zheng Yang knew her son was jealous, but she didn’t have a perfect solution yet.

She found herself starting to stand from a girl’s perspective, envying boys.

Boys didn’t have so many troubles.

Another self-study period.

Zheng Yang lay on the desk, her face resting on her arm, her mind in chaos.

Beside her, Zheng Siyuan was working on math problems, the scratch of his pen tip a steady sound.

She turned her head to look at him.

Siyuan was still so quiet.

Before, when she’d talk to him, he would blush and respond a little—

His voice soft, but at least he would respond.

Now, when she asked, “Finished your homework?”

He’d just grunt, “Mm.”

When she told him, “There’s a new dish in the cafeteria today,” he’d just say, “Oh.”

It was as if something had gotten stuck in his throat.

Every time Zhang Zihan came over to sling an arm around her shoulders, Siyuan was right there.

He’d look down at his book, but the page wouldn’t turn for ages.

He’d pretend to do homework, but his pen would hover over the paper without writing a single word.

He was enduring it.

But what was he enduring? He wasn’t her boyfriend.

Zheng Yang’s heart felt sour and bitter.

She wanted to tell Siyuan, ‘Don’t be like this. There’s nothing between Zhang Zihan and me.’

But she couldn’t say it.

Because there was something between her and Zhang Zihan—

There was physical contact.

Though in her eyes, that contact was just between “buddies,” in Siyuan’s eyes, it wasn’t.

Even in the eyes of other classmates, it wasn’t the kind of thing that should happen so often between male and female “buddies.”

She sighed.

Beside her, Siyuan heard it.

His pen paused for a moment, but he didn’t look up.

Every move Siyuan made, every smile or frown, could easily stir Zheng Yang’s heart.

She always scolded herself for being pathetic—

A high schooler’s joys and sorrows weren’t worth much.

But she just couldn’t suppress the melancholy caused by Siyuan’s distance.

During the break, Zhang Zihan came again.

“Yang ge, let’s go! To the convenience store. My treat—ice cream!”

He stood by her desk casually, his hand naturally resting on the back of her chair, leaning slightly forward, very close to her.

Zheng Yang caught a faint scent of laundry detergent from him, mixed with a little sweat.

“I’m not going. I still have homework to finish.”

She kept her head down, not looking at him.

“When can’t you do homework? Come on, come on!”

Zhang Zihan reached out and patted her shoulder.

Zheng Yang finally consciously shrank her shoulder away.

She hoped Siyuan could see that—

See her effort.

But Zhang Zihan didn’t seem affected.

He just said, “Alright, then next time.”

He left.

Zheng Yang lifted her head.

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw the corner of Siyuan’s mouth twitch slightly, as if holding back a smile, or holding back something else—

But the smile he was suppressing didn’t seem friendly or understanding at all.

Then he stood up, picked up his water cup, and walked out.

Zheng Yang watched his retreating back, her heart feeling blocked by something.

She felt like she couldn’t hold on much longer either.

‘Seriously!’

Even though she was looking at things from the perspective of someone older, trying to consider both boys’ feelings, the way she was acting now just made her look like a full-blown high school girl.

During the second period of evening study, Teacher Li was absent.

Zheng Yang sat at the podium to maintain order, but her eyes kept drifting toward Siyuan.

He was writing homework the whole time, never lifting his head.

When the bell rang for the end of class, Siyuan seemed to be rushing to finish some assignment and didn’t leave immediately.

Zheng Yang deliberately stayed at the podium a little longer.

A few classmates passed by, saying, “Let’s go, Yang ge. School’s over.”

She just smiled and replied, “Almost done. Just a bit more homework.”

Actually, she was waiting for Siyuan to pass by her.

Finally, Siyuan started packing his bag.

Then he slung his bag over his shoulder, stood up, and walked out, heading toward the podium.

Zheng Yang’s heart began to race, but she still kept her head down.

‘Will he talk to me?’

‘Ah… whether he talks or not, why do I care? I don’t like him… at least, not in a romantic way.’

‘Besides, as a high school boy—a son—he should have space to process his emotions. Why am I always overthinking this?’

‘And Zheng Yang, have some dignity. Whether he’s your son or your classmate, if he ignores you, you ignore him. Why let him affect your mood? Toughen up!’

Just as she was lost in her thoughts, Zheng Siyuan walked right past her without saying a single word.

Zheng Yang’s mental defenses crumbled instantly.

She stood up abruptly, her chair scraping loudly.

Siyuan didn’t look back.

He turned the corner and disappeared through the doorway.

Two pathetic tears slipped from Zheng Yang’s eyes.

‘How could he… how could he!’

‘I didn’t do anything to offend him!’

In her heart, she complained about Siyuan while also scolding herself for being so weak, for becoming more and more like a little girl.

Wu Chun, who had been waiting for her all along, came over with her backpack and linked arms with her.

“Yangyang… tell me the truth. You… you haven’t fallen for Zheng Siyuan, have you?”

“I don’t like him!”

Zheng Yang wiped her tears with force.

“Who does he think he is!”

“Remember what I said? No matter what decision you make, no matter who you like, I’ll support you. We’ll figure things out together. So just tell me.”

Zheng Yang turned her head to look at this girl who should be twenty-three years younger than her, and couldn’t help but hug her.

She really needed Wu Chun’s comfort, just like any ordinary high school girl needed her best friend.

“Chunchun, I really don’t like him! But it’s not that I don’t like him at all… I don’t know how to explain it. It should be… should be like a good friend, a close friend…” Zheng Yang cried as she spoke. “But even if we’re friends, he can’t just ignore me out of nowhere. I didn’t do anything to offend him!”

Wu Chun steadied her and said seriously, “But you did hurt him. Unintentionally.”

“I…”

Zheng Yang wasn’t stupid.

With Wu Chun’s reminder, she understood in an instant.

Knowing that Siyuan had feelings for her, she hadn’t refused Zhang Zihan’s intimate gestures.

That in itself was a kind of hurt to Siyuan.

But if she refused Zhang Zihan, she was afraid of hurting him too.

In the end, it was all a mess she had created.

“Ah, the troubles of being too popular.”

Wu Chun chuckled softly.

“You don’t know this yet, but actually, my deskmate, Chen Haoran, likes you too.”

“What?!”

Zheng Yang was stunned.

Having Siyuan and Zhang Zihan was already more than she could handle.

If another one came along, she’d go crazy…

Wu Chun laughed.

“Look how scared you are. Don’t worry. Chen Haoran told me that right now, everyone in the class can see that Zhang Zihan and Zheng Siyuan are interested in you, so everyone else wisely backed out of the competition. Him too.”

‘Everyone in the class can see?!’

Zheng Yang suddenly missed the days when she was a nobody.

“What do I do, Chunchun…”

Zheng Yang earnestly asked for advice.

“I’m not sure either. I’ve never been liked by that many people.”

Wu Chun was half-joking.

“You’re making fun of me! Hmph, I hope you get a basketful of love letters!”

“Haha, thanks for that! Don’t worry, I’ll definitely help you figure something out.”

“Mm, thanks, Chunchun~”