“Water… thirsty…”
Nolan’s weak voice drifted from behind her.
Vivian hurriedly set down the wooden spoon, jumped off her small stool, and rushed to the coffin. She brought over a bowl of boiled water she had prepared earlier and used her arm to prop Nolan up.
“How are you feeling?”
“My head is spinning, and my mouth is dry…” Nolan replied weakly, rubbing the space between his eyebrows.
“Then I’ll feed you.”
Without waiting for Nolan’s response, Vivian scooped up a spoonful of hot water.
“Whuuu—whuuu—”
She puffed out her cheeks and gently blew on the wooden spoon, trying to lower the temperature. Then, she lifted the spoon to her own lips and took a tiny sip.
“Ow! Hot!”
Vivian jolted from the scalding water and quickly turned her head to spit it out.
“Bleh—”
She instinctively knitted her brows and parted her lips slightly. Like a little puppy, she stuck out a bit of her burning pink tongue. It took several quick breaths of cold air before the stinging sensation on the tip of her tongue finally dissipated.
Nolan couldn’t help himself. Seeing Vivian’s clumsy behavior, he let out a *pfft* and started laughing.
“Don’t laugh!” Vivian’s cheeks flushed as she huffed.
“Alright, alright, I won’t laugh.”
Nolan straightened his face and forced himself to stop, but the corners of his mouth still twitched upward.
‘This is my wife. Cute, isn’t she?’
He suddenly felt an urge to show off his wife and bask in the envious gazes of single people just to satisfy the small vanity in his heart.
‘What a pity Blake the Orc isn’t here…’
‘Though, if it were him, he would probably say something like “My wife is a delicacy!” or something like that.’
‘Then how should I respond?’
‘My wife is also a delicacy?’
Nolan looked at the girl’s reddened cheeks and her shy expression.
‘I think she could be…’
‘I think Vivian is a small chocolate-flavored cake.’
Then he looked at the girl’s two watery red pupils and added to himself…
‘Oh, and she’s decorated with two strawberries on her head.’
‘So, my wife Vivian is a cute chocolate cake with two strawberries.’
‘What a corny joke…’
Nolan was amused by his own bad joke and couldn’t help laughing out loud again.
“You’re still laughing!”
Vivian thought Nolan was still making fun of her, and her face filled with coquettish resentment. She gently set down the bowl and spoon, gave a loud shout, and pounced on him.
Nolan suddenly felt the world spin. Then, he felt two soft mounds of flesh pressing against his thighs. He looked up to find that Vivian had somehow straddled him.
“What… what are you doing?” Nolan asked, somewhat flustered.
“Punishing you, of course.”
“I’m going to punish you by kissing you until I’ve had my fill!”
“Wait, I haven’t washed my face or brushed my teeth yet…” Nolan tried to make a final struggle, waving his hands in refusal.
“I don’t care.”
Having said that, Vivian didn’t give Nolan a chance to react and leaned down. Under Nolan’s startled gaze, those pink lips drew closer and closer until finally, their lips were pressed tightly together.
***
An unknown amount of time passed.
Zaphira, who was struggling to keep the fire going under the stove, felt like the oatmeal porridge in the pot was about to stick to the bottom. She consciously turned the heat down a bit.
‘Endure!’
‘I am only temporarily submitting to the tyranny of this flat-chested vampire.’
‘First, I will accumulate enough power here.’
‘Then, I’ll wait for my sisters to come and save me.’
‘I will be resurrected!’
‘Working together with my sisters, we’ll strike from within and without!’
‘At that time, I will surely catch Vivian off guard!’
‘I’ll crush her spirit and show the might of Zaphira.’
Zaphira, in her soul form inside the statue, clenched her tiny fists and swung them twice through the void. Her face was filled with a look of humiliation and resentment.
Just then, a sticky, wet sound drifted from not far away. Zaphira’s ears instantly perked up.
“What’s that noise?”
She muttered to herself and then quietly extended her perception toward the constantly shaking coffin. She discovered that Vivian and Nolan were stacked on top of each other like a human pyramid.
‘Are they feeding?’
Zaphira felt confused; after all, she wasn’t very familiar with this world. Then, another thought occurred to her. In Hell, there was a type of ugly blood-sucking demon. When they hunted, they would pin their prey down just like this to feed.
‘I see, so they’re eating.’
‘In that case, how could I possibly let her eat so peacefully!’
‘Sabotage! I must sabotage her!’
As Vivian’s self-proclaimed arch-nemesis, Zaphira naturally couldn’t let this opportunity slip by. She immediately thought of a way to interrupt Vivian’s “meal” to get her revenge.
She squeezed her voice into a high-pitched, mocking tone that even she found disgusting and shouted loudly, “Oh no! Vivian, come here quickly!”
“The porridge in the pot is about to burn!”
However, Vivian didn’t even lift her head. She continued her “hard work” and only replied with a muffled, slurred voice.
“Mmph—just… mmph—turn the fire down yourself. Don’t bother me…”
Vivian seemed busy with important business and couldn’t be bothered to deal with her, giving only a perfunctory response. This caused Zaphira’s temper to flare instantly.
‘Fine, Vivian. I, the great Zaphira, spoke to you nicely and you just ignore me, huh!’
‘Then don’t blame me for being rude!’
*Hummm!*
A raging fire erupted from beneath the stove. The surging flames shot through the cracks around the pot and headed straight for the ceiling!
“It’s really bad this time, Vivian!”
“I can’t control my power anymore!”
Zaphira squeezed her voice again, shouting in an even more exaggerated tone than before.
“What are you doing?”
Vivian looked out in confusion. To her shock, she saw the entire stove covered in flames, with violent tongues of fire ruthlessly licking the walls and roof.
“Are you trying to burn my damn house down?!”
Vivian rushed to the stove. Completely ignoring the heat of the flames, she shoved her hand into the bottom of the stove and pulled out the glowing red Zaphira statue.
“Stop it right now!”
“I can’t control myself!”
‘Damned piece of trash!’ Vivian cursed in her mind.
Then, she opened the window and threw the statue out with all her might.
‘If you want to burn, burn outside. Don’t destroy my house.’
Just then, a loud *boom* echoed from outside the window. A massive splash of yellowish-brown filth sprayed everywhere.
‘What was that?!’
Fortunately, Vivian was quick. she slammed the window shut, preventing the foul-smelling filth from flying into the house.
“Dammit! Which bastard blew up the latrine!”
“I haven’t even finished my business, and now shit has literally hit the fan!”
Immediately afterward, a neighbor’s roar of fury drifted from behind the cottage. Vivian shrank her neck and guiltily tapped her fingertips together.
“It’s all Zaphira’s fault…”
“These demons are so wicked!”
She grumbled a few words, choosing to shift all the blame onto Zaphira. Turning back to the coffin, she slowly helped Nolan up. Nolan’s lips were covered in blood and teeth marks.
“Um… sorry.”
She lowered her head and apologized. Looking at Nolan in this state, Vivian realized she might have played a bit too hard.
“It’s fine.”
“If you feel guilty, just let me pat your head.”
“Mm…” Vivian hung her head, her voice as faint as a mosquito’s buzz.
Nolan gave a light chuckle and reached out to stroke Vivian’s soft, smooth hair.
‘Sigh, what can I do? My wife is a vampire princess.’
‘I really can’t do anything about her.’
“Um… I also cooked oatmeal porridge. I’ll go get it.”
Unable to handle the petting, Vivian’s cheeks turned crimson. She scurried back to the stove. Standing on her little stool, Vivian grabbed the wooden spoon and tried to stir the thick porridge in the pot.
Because the fire had been too high, the bottom was scorched black, and the porridge had turned into a sticky, mushy mess. It looked exactly like fermented sludge from a latrine—just looking at it was enough to ruin one’s appetite.
‘No!’
‘This was the breakfast I prepared for Nolan with all my love!’
‘Aaaaah!!!!’
Vivian scratched her head in frustration.
‘It’s all your fault, Zaphira!’
‘When you’re resurrected, if I don’t beat you into mincemeat, my name isn’t Vivian!’
At the bottom of the latrine, currently keeping company with the maggots, Zaphira remained silent.