‘At this rate, it’s dangerous.’
The thought flashed through my mind like a bolt of lightning. It wasn’t just a simple resolution like before; it was a premonition. My fingertips tingled, and a chill ran down my spine.
Cecilia and Harkins were building a relationship just like before my regression — no, it was even more solid now.
Life was steadily flowing in a similar pattern as before. While small events changed here and there, the ending might turn out exactly the same.
My end would still be dying alone inside a carriage.
“Liana? Liana!”
“…”
“What are you doing there? Come here, quickly!”
She must have spotted the hem of my dress.
“Cecilia.”
I stood up, brushing the leaves off my clothes.
I intentionally spun around cheerfully and gave a bright smile. Cecilia looked somewhat relieved.
“I waited a bit because it looked like you two were talking.”
“Yes! We ran into each other while I was taking a walk.”
“Hello, Harkins.”
“…Yes.”
I felt like the corners of my mouth were going to tremble.
Harkins’s eyes, which I caught for a split second, were cold and stiff. His face, which had softened considerably while talking to Cecilia, was now as hard as a mask.
“Here, the blanket.”
“Thank you!”
Cecilia smiled brightly, her eyes crinkling. She took the blanket as if she were hugging me, but her expression quickly turned apologetic.
“I’m sorry, Liana.”
“Sorry for what?”
I stopped unbuttoning my coat and asked back. Cecilia pointed to her shoulder with an embarrassed face.
“Ah…”
“Harkins gave me his coat, so I’m not cold anymore. I’m sorry. You went all that way just for me.”
“It’s fine. I went there for a walk anyway.”
Cecilia placed the blanket on an empty chair.
Staring at the neatly folded blanket, I finished unbuttoning my coat and laid it on the chair as well.
“Harkins! Is Evan coming to this welcoming party, too?”
“…Yes. He will probably offer his congratulations as well.”
Harkins glanced at me briefly before turning back to Cecilia.
“What is your relationship with Evan? You two seem very close!”
Cecilia clapped her hands together.
Harkins gave a troubled smile and moistened his throat with tea. It wasn’t a story I was particularly curious about. I was letting it go in one ear and out the other, but his gaze kept landing on my face.
“That… is a bit of a sensitive topic.”
And then he looked at me again.
Ah, I think I knew what that look was asking for. A smirk escaped my lips. It was rude and childish.
“I’m sorry, Harkins. Then, next time!”
“No, Cecilia.”
What preceded my feeling of exclusion was anger. I was furious at Harkins’s attitude, which I had just tolerated until now.
Watching from an outsider’s perspective was only fun once or twice.
The back of my neck felt hot. Curious about how far his rudeness would go, a wicked thought suddenly reared its head. To make a small excuse, it might have been because his comment about hating noblewomen felt like a sharp jab to my heart.
“I didn’t know Harkins and Evan had such a sensitive relationship.”
Opening my eyes wide, I cut into their conversation as if I were oblivious.
I looked straight at Harkins with a very intrigued smile.
“Liana! Harkins said it was a sensitive topic. You should pretend you didn’t hear…”
Cecilia spoke as if scolding me, her face full of discomfort.
“That would be proper etiquette, wouldn’t it?”
I replied with a nod, not even looking at her.
Harkins glared at me with a look that asked what I wanted to say. He looked like he didn’t even want to point out my lack of manners.
Harkins was an expert at ignoring people. But what could he do? It wasn’t like I didn’t know how to do that myself.
“In that case, shouldn’t you refrain from such talk even more? If you say it’s a ‘sensitive topic,’ won’t people get curious?”
“What are you trying to say?”
“Liana! What’s wrong?”
“If your intention wasn’t to give a hint so people would deliberately wonder, then you need to be careful with your words, Harkins.”
“Liana!”
Cecilia grabbed my arm. Harkins’s eyes burned with rage.
“Who are you to lecture me?”
“Liana! Harkins! What is wrong with you two! Liana, apologize. Why are you suddenly…”
A flustered Cecilia waved her hands and this time grabbed Harkins’s hand. His hand flinched before he carefully held her fingers.
‘I need to change my attitude toward these two.’
It was a natural realization. To avoid being dragged along by them out of habit, I had to change. I didn’t survive just to repeat the same death.
“Li-Liana, are you feeling sick today?”
Cecilia blinked her large eyes and stood up.
“I’m sorry, Harkins. Liana, let’s go back to the dormitory. I’ll support you.”
“No. Why are you the one apologizing, Cecilia?”
“Then are you saying I am the one who should apologize?”
I instantly cut through the thick atmosphere swirling between the two of them. I kept wanting to laugh. An uncontrollable laughter mixed into my excited voice.
‘Am I the one causing the trouble this time?’
I wasn’t sure if being a mediator was better or if this was, but one thing was certain: this felt much more refreshing than holding it in.
“In a conversation, manners are naturally expected.”
“Stop talking in circles and say what you want to say.”
As he looked down at me while I remained seated, his dark green eyes were filled with contempt.
“Liana! Stop it.”
“I’m saying you have no manners.”
It felt like a heavy stone pressing down on my chest had been removed.
Harkins, whether before or after the regression, you really have no manners.
‘You should take this opportunity to learn that if you treat others like trash, you might get treated like trash yourself.’
When I smiled while looking into his eyes, his face contorted.
‘Ah! How refreshing!’
Why was I so afraid of someone disliking me? If they disliked me for no reason, I could just give them one.
If he got upset just by me smiling, how great was that for me? It meant I could ruin someone’s mood with a single smile.
“It’s not like we’re close friends, and strictly speaking, you joined in the middle of mine and Cecilia’s tea time, didn’t you? It’s rude to speak as if you’re excluding me. It’s fine, though. Everyone makes mistakes.”
I nodded as if I understood him.
Yes, he might not know any better. Perhaps my choice to endure it, thinking it was consideration, was just my own arrogance. That must have been my mistake.
“Liana, what is really wrong with you today!”
This was the first time I had ever said such things. But Cecilia, you’d better get used to it. I think I’ll be saying things like this often in the future.
I smiled broadly.
‘Cecilia probably can’t understand it because she’s never experienced it.’
I scanned Cecilia with indifferent eyes.
She was as pretty as a doll, but why?
Perhaps because of my mood, my heart didn’t flutter at her appearance. It seemed like the compliments I usually gave wouldn’t come out today. It was a truly strange feeling.
It felt as if Cecilia and I were being separated… as if something that had always been attached was being torn away. I pretended to be calm while rubbing my hands, which had grown stiff in the cold wind.
“So, I would like you to be careful. It’s better to maintain decorum, don’t you think? Especially since you accompany His Highness the Crown Prince.”
I added those words while enduring a momentary dizziness.
“…”
Harkins remained silent.
I wondered if he understood. I had said enough, so how he chose to take it was up to him.
And how to treat someone who didn’t show manners would be up to me.
“Liana. Seriously, what is with you today? You were spacing out earlier. Did something upset you? Harkins, I’m so sorry…”
“Upset? I’m the one who should be sorry for cutting you off, Cecilia. But I’m not doing this to Harkins out of spite.”
It seemed today’s tea time would have to end here. I picked up my coat and stood up. My heart was pounding. Because I had uttered words I would never normally say, my heart was beating excessively fast.
“You don’t need to apologize for me, but I also don’t think it’s something to apologize for. Cecilia, I hope you maintain your manners as well.”
“What do you mean by that?”
Cecilia pressed her lips together.
“…Was there a need to go that far with Cecilia?”
Harkins, who looked like he wouldn’t speak anymore, stepped forward. Now that I was standing, our eyes were roughly at the same level.
I had hesitated and been deluded for a moment by Evan’s vague interest and kindness. However, seeing someone who hadn’t changed at all like this made me feel relieved instead. As expected, it was just a delusion.
“I don’t think I said anything excessive. Don’t you agree?”
“…”
“…Aren’t you being too sensitive, Liana?”
‘Sensitive?’
*Thump, thump.*
The back of my neck felt tight. My heart was still thumping and making me dizzy every time I spoke my mind, but hearing those words made my head spin.
The person who loses their temper is the one who loses.
In the fights between Cecilia and Margaret that I had mediated countless times before the regression, the reason Margaret lost was that she had made a scene by raising her voice.
Smiling calmly was something ingrained in my body, so I didn’t have to put in much effort, but I tried even harder to smile more sweetly.
“I believe that sometimes you have to be sensitive about such manners to avoid a greater disturbance.”
“…That’s just your opinion, Liana.”
“Cecilia.”
‘Cecilia. You really know how to throw out words that get under someone’s skin. I finally understand why the hot-tempered Margaret couldn’t stand it and screamed like a maniac.’
The guilt I felt toward Cecilia, which had acted like a brake I had desperately hidden in my desire to become friends with Margaret, seemed to dissolve.
Cecilia stared at me.
“Isn’t that right? That’s just your opinion, Liana.”
While we talked, Harkins stood in front of Cecilia as if protecting her.
The composition was perfect for a misunderstanding. It was also perfect for making someone furious.
I looked at the two of them and gave a troubled smile.
I hadn’t intended to go this far.
“Cecilia, we are nobles.”
“What does that have to do with anything?”
Harkins grit his teeth.
“People say it’s outdated, but the world we live in is a place where disturbances arise over a single matter of formality and etiquette. It’s something you can’t help, even if you dislike it. No matter how much Grazia Academy preaches equality, we have to return to that world once we graduate. What about Harkins? Won’t Harkins also live in the Imperial Palace following Evan?”
The sound of leaves rustling against each other filled the gaps in our conversation. The two of them seemed to have lost their words.
“I also don’t think it’s good to discriminate based on origin or title. However, to become a member of that world, you must follow and know the basic rules to have a voice. It’s a world where those who don’t follow the rules aren’t even given a chance.”
I suddenly realized.
Cecilia hated things like “social rules” and “etiquette” even more than I thought.
It wasn’t that she found them boring; she seemed to have an aversion to them.
Why? Was there a reason for her to feel such aversion?
Cecilia was also a noble. I could understand Harkins, but why you?
I continued speaking while looking into Cecilia’s blue eyes with a questioning gaze.
“If there are no social rules like ‘knowing one’s manners,’ who would consider you a member? That flaw will follow Evan around. Isn’t that right?”
“Liana… you’re being too harsh.”
“Cecilia. It’s fine.”
“But Harkins…!”
Harkins shook his head.
“Lady Liana is right.”
His face was expressionless.
“I will accept your advice.”
‘If I give him advice a second time, he might hit me…’
Cecilia looked as if she were the one who had been wronged.
I stared at Cecilia. Her watery eyes were shining clearly.
‘Cecilia, if you only think what I just said is unfair, then I won’t be able to take your side anymore.’
“I’m saying this to you, too.”