There were no streetlights on the village road, and the world before my eyes was pitch black. I could only rely on my phone for light.
My soaked clothes clung to my skin, and both An Zhi and Su Xixia, who were walking on either side of me, were shivering from the cold.
My house was at the end of the village, not far from the riverbank.
We could see its silhouette as we walked along the stream.
It was a single-story bungalow.
The tiles around the eaves had fallen off, and the peeling walls were missing bricks in several places.
A faint light glimmered from within.
“Your house is still the same,” Su Xixia said.
“But I still envy you. You have a good mother.”
‘Sigh, if only I could earn a bit more money, it would be enough for renovations.’
With my mother’s frugal nature, she definitely hadn’t installed an air conditioner.
I didn’t want to think about how she survived every winter night.
‘It’s all my fault for being useless.’
“I still have tens of thousands in my card… Once I can withdraw it, I’ll give—”
An Zhi spoke softly as she looked at the loose tiles and exposed red bricks.
“That won’t do. We’ll talk about it once your life is stable.”
I cut her off and stood before the door, raising my hand.
I hesitated for a few seconds before finally knocking.
Everything had happened so suddenly that I hadn’t even had time to contact my mother, nor had I thought about what to say to her.
“Who is it?”
A slightly raspy voice came from inside.
“Mom. It’s me, Li Mingshan.”
As soon as the words left my mouth, the door swung open.
My mother leaned forward, eagerly peering out.
The wrinkles on her face folded into each other, slowly forming a wide smile.
Her long hair was dyed with a paleness that didn’t match her age.
“Mingshan, my Mingshan, you’re back?”
Her thin lips quivered as she moved them, trembling as she called my name.
In that moment, I realized I didn’t need to prepare any words at all…
“Mom!”
I rushed forward and hugged her, just like when I was a child, stubbornly coming home with a stiff face after being bullied.
It was only when I crashed into her arms that I couldn’t stop the tears.
Only in her embrace would I allow my soft side to show.
“Caught in the rain again? Go inside and sit down. Mom will get the hot water ready for you.”
She was still the same as before.
No matter what miserable state I was in when I came home, she wouldn’t ask why.
She would just wipe away her tears and help me take care of everything.
So I had known all along that no matter how poorly I fared in the city, she would never blame me.
“Mom, the money I gave you last time… just keep it. I’m fine…”
“I’m fine too. As long as you’re back, I’m satisfied. Whether you’re doing well or not, you’re my pride. Alright, get inside quickly. Don’t catch a cold.”
My eyes grew sore.
I had been trapping myself in a cocoon.
To escape the painful memories of my hometown, I had ignored the person who mattered most.
I had foolishly thought I could use that money to apologize to her, but the truth was, she didn’t care about that at all.
“I’m sorry… for not coming home to see you for so long.”
This time, I finally managed to voice my apology.
“…Just come back more often in the future.”
My mother turned and pulled me inside.
The weight that had been hanging over my heart finally dropped.
“Auntie Li, it’s been a long time.”
Su Xixia’s voice rang out from behind me.
Because the doorway was narrow and the night was dark, my mother hadn’t noticed the two people following me.
She looked toward the door and saw Su Xixia stepping inside.
“It’s the Su family’s daughter. Didn’t you… get married? Why are you still following Mingshan? Well, come in anyway.”
‘Is Mom misunderstanding something?’
Just as Su Xixia entered, An Zhi’s voice followed.
“Um…”
She bowed deeply to my mother, her movements a bit exaggerated.
“Oh, my. Which family’s young lady is this, following Mingshan home? Hello there.”
“Hello, Auntie. My name is An Zhi, and I’m his… that…”
An Zhi’s eyes flickered, casting a glance at me for help.
“Mom, she’s my college classmate. She’s my girlfriend and a future dancer.”
I hurried to An Zhi’s side to introduce her.
My mother seemed to realize something and blinked.
“So she’s a little dancer. No wonder she has such a nice aura. Miss An Zhi, my surname is Li, and my name is Li Zhixing. Come in, come in. Don’t catch a chill outside.”
She was even more enthusiastic than I was, stepping forward to lead the two girls into the house and leaving me to close the door.
Voices drifted from inside.
“Can you two bathe together? The water tank isn’t big, and girls are afraid of the cold. It won’t do without hot water…”
“Don’t worry, Auntie! I won’t fight with An Zhi!”
“Um… me neither. Wait? Fight?”
—
The front door opened directly into the living room.
Next to a pile of hay in the corner was a wooden table with a bulky CRT TV and a few chairs.
My mother led them into the room on the left, where the bathroom and kitchen were separated by simple earthen walls.
The gas valve was open, and the humming sound of water being sent into the tank filled the air.
By now, Su Xixia and An Zhi should have been undressing to get ready for their bath.
Soon, my mother returned to the living room.
“Mingshan, sit down. Mom has something to say.”
She told me to sit in front of the TV.
I had a general idea of what she wanted to say.
Seeing her unusual seriousness as she stood before me without a smile, she spoke:
“Back in the village, bringing two companions home in the middle of the night was called ‘stepping on two boats.’ It’s not a nice thing to hear. I don’t care what people outside say, but I have some advice for you.”
‘This is a misunderstanding!’
I wanted to explain, but seeing her stern expression, I couldn’t get a word out.
“Back in the day, I was bought from the neighboring village by your father. I had no choice but to follow him and suffer. I know times are changing and young people are more free than before. But…”
The sound of splashing water and the girls’ muffled conversation drifted from the bathroom.
I swallowed hard and nodded.
“If a girl follows you of her own accord, you must take even better care of her. No matter how pretty or attractive they are, don’t think they *must* stay with you. Give them more freedom, no matter what they want to do. Do you understand?”
“Yes, Mom. I will.”
Now, I could somewhat understand my mother’s advice.
She was trying to tell me politely that if I really was two-timing, the future would only be filled with hardship.
On the surface, she was looking out for them, but she was actually telling me to be open-minded and not be like my father…
While I was lost in thought, my mother brought a basin from the bathroom.
The water inside was still steaming.
“This is the hot water I saved while the girls were bathing. Soak your hands and feet to warm up first. Go in after they’re finished. I’ll go get the bedding ready.”
“Okay.”
I took off my shoes, leaned over, and soaked my hands and feet in the water, watching my mother walk into the bedroom.
There were two bedrooms in my house, and the beds were very small…
It looked like I would be sleeping on the floor tonight.
But this hot water…
The girls had just bathed in it.
It felt strange to soak in it.
I remembered how Su Xixia once gave me a bottle of water, tricking me into drinking it before telling me it was her bathwater.
I had felt so disgusted I almost vomited.
But this basin didn’t make me feel uncomfortable at all.
Returning to my hometown and seeing the changes in the village with my own eyes seemed to have rewritten my old impressions.
I should let go of the past and focus on the present and the future.
‘To celebrate this change of heart, why not… try a little lick?’
‘Let’s do it!’
I scooped up a bit of hot water and took a sip.
It seemed to have a hint of sweet and sour, washing away those bitter memories.
“See, see! I told you he had a little fetish! Do you believe me now!?”
Su Xixia’s voice suddenly rang out.
I quickly looked up to see her and An Zhi standing at the doorway, watching me.
A mischievous smirk was on her face, while An Zhi’s eyes were wide and her mouth slightly open, as if she were at a loss for words.
“No… let me explain!”
I immediately pushed the basin away and waved my hands frantically.
Unfortunately, it seemed I wouldn’t be able to escape their disdain, at least for tonight.
—
The night wind whistled through the broken window, making an eerie sound.
In a half-asleep state, I lay on the concrete floor covered with a bedsheet, shivering constantly.
This room used to be my father’s.
It was cramped and narrow, but the walls were intact, making it warmer than the room I shared with my mother.
I had slept with my mother since I was a child, enduring the mosquitoes in summer and the cold wind in winter.
It was hard to get a good night’s sleep.
Even though my father rarely came home, my mother never dared to take me to sleep in this room, lest she get beaten…
On the nearby single bed, Su Xixia and An Zhi were huddled under a thick cotton quilt, their breathing steady.
Originally, one of them was supposed to sleep with my mother, but both of them had insisted on staying with me.
Under my mother’s persuasion, it ended up with me sleeping on the floor to keep them company.
‘How miserable…’
Just as I was drifting off to sleep, there was a sudden movement next to me.
I felt pressure on my legs.
Someone was crawling into my blanket.
‘Su Xixia!? This woman really won’t give up. I won’t fall for her tricks again!’
A soft touch climbed from my thigh to my stomach, stopping only at my chest.
It wasn’t that full sensation; she had a petite frame and supple skin.
‘An Zhi?’
I stopped pretending to be asleep and opened my eyes to see An Zhi peeking her head out of the blanket.
“I’m sorry… did I wake you?”
She gripped the edge of the quilt, wearing it like a hat.
“Can’t sleep?”
“Yeah. There are weird noises. It sounds like something’s under the bed… I’m scared.”
It was probably insects or mice.
They were common in the countryside, but An Zhi had likely never encountered them.
“It’s warmer in here than outside during the winter, so they come in to hide. It’s okay. The floor is cold, don’t come down.”
I stroked her head.
“Mm… you’re very comfortable. Goodnight~”
An Zhi smiled and rested her head on my chest.
As expected, An Zhi couldn’t handle the rural environment…
I should finish my business early tomorrow.
At that moment, a chill ran through my body.
I opened my eyes and saw a pair of eyes staring down at me, glinting like cold light in the darkness.
I forced back the urge to scream when I realized it was Su Xixia, craning her neck to stare at me.
“You two seem to be sleeping quite comfortably! Now that I’m missing a human space heater, I’m freezing.”
She spoke with a voice full of resentment.
“An Zhi isn’t used to this place, but you should be fine. Go to sleep!”
I said.
“Don’t be like that. It’s warmer with three people! And besides, back then my parents put a stove in my room so I could practice cooking, which could also heat water in the winter. Can your house do that?”
Su Xixia tugged at the blanket, one foot already stepping on my thigh.
Left with no choice, I said, “An Zhi and I are boyfriend and girlfriend.”
“Then I’ll sleep on the floor and you two can sleep on the bed!”
Before she even finished her sentence, she hopped off the bed and crawled in next to An Zhi and me, pressing her voluptuous body against mine with a “hehe” laugh.
‘Damn, it really is warm…’
This woman was truly difficult to deal with.
“You chose this yourself. An Zhi, let’s go sleep on the bed!”
Hardening my heart, I moved to pick up An Zhi and push the blanket aside, but to my surprise, An Zhi shook her head.
“Just for tonight… as long as you don’t do anything weird… Su Xixia, will you keep your promise?”
“Of course! The agreement we made in the bathroom still stands. I promise not to cross the line. Just this once, I want to sleep soundly too!”
“Then… it’s okay. Mingshan, is that alright?”
‘An agreement? What agreement? When did these two become so harmonious?’
I looked at Su Xixia, then at An Zhi, and threw up my hands.
“Fine, fine. Let’s all sleep together then.”
“You should have said so earlier! Mingshan, help me spread the quilt on the floor. It’ll be spacious and warm that way.”
‘Can this really work?’
It truly looked like I was stepping on two boats.
A while later, as they both fell asleep on either side of me with steady breaths, I was still wide awake.
‘If only I could turn into a girl whenever I wanted.’