Luo Shuiling returned to her pavilion and collapsed weakly onto the bed. Her disheveled azure hair veiled her delicate face, and her white dress was stained with dirt, the hem dry and yellowed. The cold, arrogant expression she usually wore had vanished. She looked like a fairy who had fallen from the immortal realm into the mortal world—stripped of her celestial aura, leaving only wretchedness behind.
The early winter sky had already darkened completely. She had no idea how long she had lain there. All she remembered was that after driving Yun Hao away, she had simply stayed like this. Perhaps several days, perhaps more than ten—she could no longer tell. She would wake, stare blankly, and only when night fell would she manage to close her eyes again.
The restless spiritual power within her had long since calmed, yet she had no desire to check it. She already knew everything was ruined.
That day, when she discovered her virginity had been taken, shame, panic, fear, and despair had flooded her heart. She had truly wanted to cut Yun Hao down with a single sword. That killing intent had been real. But in the end she hadn’t acted on it. She had only driven him away.
After all, more than two years of companionship had left her with too many memories. She wasn’t heartless. She held a faint tenderness toward the youth, one that belonged to her alone. Yet his actions had been utterly despicable. That day she had beaten and tormented him in her rage, but her own heart had ached just as deeply—ached over why he would do such a thing when she had already placed so much trust in him.
At first, even with their clothes in disarray, she had chosen to believe in his character. He had grown up by her side. She had been certain he would never commit such an act.
But the evidence proved her wrong. Her primordial yin was gone. She had truly lost her virginity.
The realization had plunged her into agony. She carried too many burdens. The Ice Jade Physique could only exert its full power while its owner remained a virgin. Certain techniques also required both primordial yin and the Ice Jade Physique working in tandem. That combination was her greatest trump card—one that could even threaten an early Soul Division cultivator.
Now that card was useless. Her damaged immortal foundation still hadn’t recovered either. Her master had mentioned that Elder Yueqiu’s disciple had obtained an immortal opportunity and showed signs of breaking through to Soul Division. They were all heaven’s favored children. Once, her talent had surpassed the others, but the gap had narrowed since her foundation was damaged. Her only remaining advantage had been the Ice Jade Physique. Now even that had lost its peak strength. What did she have left to compete against the disciples of the other three elders?
Yun Hao’s impulsive act had destroyed decades of preparation by her and her master, as well as the efforts of successive sect masters. She was destined to become the sinner of the sect master’s lineage.
Ruined. Everything was ruined.
Luo Shuiling’s beautiful eyes had lost their former brilliance. The proud light in them had dimmed to something as faint as a firefly—something that could be snuffed out with the slightest touch.
She still remembered the feeling of striking the youth. Anger mixed with heartache. Anger at why he would do such things and lie to her again and again. Heartache at seeing him beaten to such a state. He had probably never suffered injuries like that before.
But at the time she truly hadn’t wanted to see him anymore. If he kept appearing before her eyes, she might not have been able to stop herself from drawing her sword. So she had driven him away.
Luo Shuiling felt lost. She didn’t know where she had gone wrong. She had known about his admiration for her, but she had never intended to respond to it. Compared to an equal romantic relationship, she found the hierarchical dynamic far more comfortable. It gave her a sense of security she craved.
From the moment she stepped onto the immortal path, she had been constantly chased. She had always left everyone behind, becoming the youngest Nascent Soul cultivator in the Proud Sword Sect. But before she could catch her breath, she had to surpass the seniors ahead of her. That constant pressure had shaped her increasingly cold personality. On the immortal path, everyone was her opponent.
Only when she stood at the very top did she realize that, aside from her master, she was completely alone. She hadn’t cared. The immortal path was long. Who could accompany her for a lifetime?
So two years ago, when she happened to buy the youth, she had only been interested in his usefulness. She had wanted to raise him as a pet that belonged solely to her, someone to assist her cultivation. Everyone needed relief from pressure. An obedient pet was a decent way to find it.
But gradually, this pet began doing things that seemed childish to her. At first she found it annoying, yet over time she grew accustomed to his childishness and gentleness. He would occasionally do things that touched her heart.
“Sister, I think it suits you very well—beautiful… and noble, just like you.”
He had said those words that bordered on a confession, enduring his own shame. She had known he wanted to make her happy. Even though she had already glimpsed his inner thoughts, she had to admit that in that moment she had truly been delighted. For the first time, she had felt the urge to reward him. Her possessiveness had begun to swell.
But why? Why would such a pure-hearted youth do something like that? She had watched him grow up over these two years. There had been nothing wrong with his development.
Where exactly had she gone wrong?
This was the question she had been asking herself these past few days, yet she still couldn’t find an answer.
Luo Shuiling’s eyes were half-closed as she thought listlessly. She should have killed Yun Hao with a single sword that day, but she hadn’t been able to bring herself to do it. Even in her muddled state, she had restrained herself.
Her thoughts wandered. Her consciousness began to slip away once more.
Shuiling, come to the Back Mountain.
A familiar voice echoed beside her ear. In the entire sect, only one person could speak to her like that—her master, Jiang Shu’er.
Luo Shuiling regained a sliver of clarity, but fear immediately surged into her heart. This day had finally come.
How was she supposed to explain this? That she had lost her virginity and weakened her Ice Jade Physique as a result? It would be the greatest joke. Setting aside whether it was true, what man could possibly have touched her? What would her master think? Would she kill Yun Hao in rage?
Panic-stricken, she was at a complete loss. She even forgot to reply.
Shuiling? Did you hear me?
Only then did she force down her wavering heart and slowly respond.
“Understood.”
She was filled with intense unease. After a moment, she decided that no matter what the outcome, she should at least go see her master first… go and apologize.
She urged her spiritual power and retrieved her spirit sword. Just as she was about to ride toward the Back Mountain, her movements froze.
Her spiritual power… seemed to be circulating very smoothly?
Luo Shuiling could hardly believe it. She had clearly already lost her virginity. How could her spiritual power still flow so smoothly, without the slightest stiffness?
She tried activating her Ice Jade Physique. The temperature around her immediately plummeted, growing even colder than before the dual cultivation. Still unconvinced, she pushed it to its absolute limit.
Centered on her, waves of icy chill radiated outward from Sect Master Peak, even faintly spreading to the other peaks. It continued for about a quarter of an hour before she gradually suppressed it.
No problem…?!
Disbelief appeared on her delicate face. That couldn’t be right. Hadn’t she already lost her primordial yin?
She could feel that her spiritual power was now calm and peaceful. Completely different from the chaotic energy after she lost control that day.
Could it be…?
With a prayerful sense of anticipation, she once again probed deep into her body. A few breaths later—
“It’s still there… My primordial yin… is still there.”
Her jade-like hands covered her cherry lips. The disbelief in her eyes gradually faded, replaced by the excitement of having regained something lost.
It was still there! Her primordial yin was intact! There was no problem at all. She still had confidence in the upcoming sect grand competition. Yun Hao hadn’t lied to her! He hadn’t done anything so shameless!
Her body went limp. She could hardly accept this sudden turn of events. She had thought she would become a sinner for all eternity, nailed to the pillar of shame for the sect master’s lineage.
But today, the fact that her primordial yin remained had pulled her back from the edge of the cliff. Like a child who had fallen into a lake—already in despair, only to grasp a lifeline at the last moment.
The intense emotional whiplash left her unable to control herself.
Calm down! Calm down!
She kept suppressing her emotions, but she still couldn’t restrain the excitement in her heart. She was confused. She had clearly checked that day and been unable to sense it. Yet today she could feel it. That shouldn’t have been possible.
She carefully sensed it again and again, afraid of missing even the slightest clue. But no matter how many times she checked, her primordial yin remained perfectly preserved.
She could no longer hold back. Now that she could confirm it was truly intact, what exactly had happened that day?
Luo Shuiling forced herself to think carefully.
During the dual cultivation, she had lost consciousness before Yun Hao. Logically, once the master lost consciousness, the special physique should have stopped. Yet the Ice Jade Physique hadn’t. Instead, it had autonomously controlled the rate at which it absorbed spiritual power.
She vaguely recalled having a nightmare. She had dreamed of the immortal-demonic war from five years ago, reliving that desperate battle. Her immortal foundation had been struck until it was nearly destroyed. Instinctively, she had wanted to absorb external spiritual power to replenish herself.
But that hadn’t been her conscious will—it had been the restlessness generated by the Ice Jade Physique. Yun Hao had always held a fatal attraction for it, and she hadn’t been able to control it… Ultimately, the physique had gone out of control.
However, it had only acted on her instincts. Once the youth’s spiritual power was exhausted, it could no longer continue absorbing. Otherwise, given her Dao Integration realm cultivation, he would have been completely drained long ago.
After she woke, the aftereffects of the rampage had still been extremely intense. That was why her spiritual power had been so chaotic. As for the bloodstain… she couldn’t figure it out for now. But it didn’t matter. The fact that her primordial yin remained proved Yun Hao’s innocence.
Luo Shuiling felt as though she had figured everything out. The tip of her nose stung slightly. Her eyes grew a little red. For the first time in days, a smile bloomed across her delicate face.
As expected, Yun Hao wasn’t that kind of person. He wasn’t a hypocrite. Her judgment hadn’t been wrong. The youth was still the same as when he had first arrived by her side—warm and gentle, kind and pure.
She had wrongly blamed him.
A rare happiness filled her heart. The feeling of regaining something she thought lost left her unable to calm down for a long time.
Yun Hao… Yun Hao…
She murmured his name in her heart, her expression exceptionally tender. She struggled to rise from the ground, wanting to go to the wooden house and tell him the news.
But her movements suddenly stiffened. The joyful expression vanished.
…She suddenly remembered… It seemed she had done something terribly excessive to the youth…
The youth’s cries and pleas suddenly echoed in her ears. Luo Shuiling felt as though she had fallen into yet another ice cellar. The fear rising from the deepest part of her heart was even colder, even more irreparable. The warmth that had just begun to flow back into her body dissipated, replaced by an even colder, more indescribable sense of regret.