Chapter 64: Birthday Wishes from Another World 

The Black Dragon, in its bipedal dragonoid form, surveyed the scene.

The powder scattered on the ground was sometimes white, sometimes black.

Tasting the white powder, the Black Dragon spoke to the fishman monsters following him.

“This must be the white powder goblins found in the southern continent and studied with humans. I heard its lineage died out with humanity.”

“Just this caused such a riot? There’s so little.”

“Exactly why it caused a frenzy. We’re not tongueless. It’s insanely sweet and euphoric. The succubi weren’t entirely wrong.”

“Is it true they had to kill rioters while suppressing them?”

“Regardless, killing the weak to steal levels is a clan-level offense. Resisting after that crime means accepting death. So, this uproar was caused by the dungeon’s giant.”

“If the Nightmare Queen was defeated…”

“No way she was… Did she even fight? A giant’s still human—he’d spread his legs if tempted.”

“For a low-level?”

“If that’s the giants’ world, her lust for men would be tens, hundreds of times stronger. A giant’s vitality isn’t a pinch—it’s enough for multiple baths. That’s how succubi are.”

“Even if she tempted him…”

“I think the giant might’ve tempted her. So, we kill them both.”

The Black Dragon is an alien entity.

Originally a Blue Dragon, living in underwater dungeons, it fell to dark magic, changing even its scales’ color.

At 100,000 levels, it wields dark magic with 200,000-level power.

It defeated a 15,000-level maritime clan leader, made him a subordinate, and seized the seas.

Despite their low average levels, the maritime clan gladly accepted the Black Dragon’s rule.

Though an alien race, its intelligence surpasses the Octopus Sage, and its strength is unmatched, making defiance impossible.

The dragonoid Black Dragon squeezed liquid from the gate’s vicinity into droplets.

“This… is alcohol. I heard skilled goblins mimicked it, but with human grape varieties gone, it’s rare.”

Drinking from a summoned cup, it was mostly soju, but vodka was mixed in.

“Harsh. Liquor this strong would drive anyone mad.”

“I’ve heard of alcohol.”

“Causing infighting with this stuff? The giant’s not stupid. Sending our mid-bosses might just increase losses.”

“Then…?”

“The Queen lost because she sent low-levels sequentially, practically raising the giant. Especially sending humans who awakened demonic traits at a dozen levels—two hands and legs, no way the giant struggled.”

The lanternfish monster, following the dragon, listened intently, noting the Queen’s failure despite sending various foes.

“I won’t attack like that. No matter the giant, he can’t withstand magic.”

The Black Dragon, fed up with the maritime clan’s fish-heads, emphasized this repeatedly.

Their brain capacity seemed limited to wriggling worms, jumping mindlessly into the gate like fish to water.

Suppressing and convincing them drained his emotions.

The Black Dragon shot black matter through the gate twice, then sent a bottled purple potion.

***

“Stop making those and stand by, you idiot. Ugh, those tissues are expensive, and he’s using them all.”

What’s CatMan doing, soothing some heartbreak?

Not origami cranes, but folding flowers with my tissues?

It’s kinda impressive, though.

He can’t even use scissors.

[Sigh, I miss you, Ragdoll sister.]

Per CatMan’s tale, his granddaughter was the worst, but he felt fondly for the Ragdoll lady she brought.

He was about to love her when the granddaughter literally beat him, dragging him away by the tail.

[Why’re you laughing?]

“Not laughing.”

[Funny? Is it funny?]

Imagining it is kinda funny.

But the white roses are nicely folded.

Problem is, he used all my tissues.

“Not laughing, I said. Stop messing around and get over here!”

[Take a look.]

CatMan’s using weird English he learned, probably from some human reading lizard erotica and panting.

If it’s the maritime clan, my ambitiously recruited CatMan has Maritime Creature Specialty LV80, boosting damage to sea monsters by 8000%.

Hates water, so he can’t fetch carp, but he’s got potential.

“Can a low-level pet handle them?”

“If not, you carry. I’m counting on you.”

“Love is won through fighting?”

Her charm acting like an attack, raising my level, doesn’t feel bad.

But since it works like an attack, I can’t trust it.

I’ll decide after seeing her fight.

“Fight hard.”

“You’re showing interest.”

Level up again.

What a love-filled studio apartment.

Gotta say something to the Fairy Princess shielded in the washing machine.

CatMan will handle sea monsters, and I’m preparing in case the Nightmare Queen betrays me.

The gate, shaking for a while, goes—

Guweeeeek.

“?”

These guys again?

Vomiting now?

Cheolpudeok.

“What the—scared me!”

“Hm?”

[Meow.]

What came from the gate looks like a wig dumped in a basin.

Its visual is a long-haired virgin ghost, startling me.

“Hey, CatMan, isn’t that your fur sent back from the gate?”

[Got a few curly hairs yourself, huh?]

Cat fur sheds a lot, and I’ve been dumping it in the other world, but getting countered by this furball stings.

Gotta plug in RiceCookerMan’s whole crew.

I was impressed when he fiercely scolded CatMan in North Korean dialect.

“No idea what this is. I can charm hermaphrodites, but no gender’s tricky.”

“Not growing to fight it?”

I asked, wondering how she’d fight small.

She glares primly.

“Too much.”

“Hm?”

“You said you like me small.”

“Oh, yeah. Stay small.”

“How do I handle this?”

Shut up.

Another cheolpudeok, and more black stuff swirls.

<Sea Weed LV None>

High in iron and calcium.

Isn’t that seaweed?

“…Whose birthday is it?”

“Birthday? What’s that?”

[I was born when the world was all white, tossed here for humans to raise.]

“Oh, got it…”

Thought cats or succubi might have birthdays, but guess not.

RiceCookerMan’s still flipped.

If I asked Lee Soo-chan’s birthday, he’d probably answer.

The gate goes guweeeeek again, spewing something.

It’s like paint-mixed water from art class.

And then—

<Sea Weed Controlled by Magic LV None>

Level cannot be estimated.

Grants experience based on the controller’s level.

“What… urk!?”

The magic sea weed, hit by gate water, swells massively, turning into a teal slime.

It shoots out, wrapping around me at insane speed.

“What’s this? Urk!?”

It absorbs water, growing faster, nearly covering my body.

Full-body seaweed.

Like a mummy wrapped in seaweed.

It covers my face, but unlike KingSlime, I can breathe.

I’m SeaweedMan now?

“These maritime clan guys are too obvious. What’s this?”

They chose something that bulks up in this world.

It’s growing bigger than single-mom dragon noona by volume.

KingSlime could stretch this big, but this is huge without effort.

[Pfft.]

The cat’s covering its mouth, laughing?

“Don’t laugh, idiot!”

It’s like they made me a seaweed outfit, looking like a furry yeti costume.

I can move, and the mirror shows it’s artistic.

First shocking look since Room 202’s wall punch.

I’m laughing too.

Gotta ask.

“Hey, succubus lady? Can you love this look?”

“Yesss!”

“No… sorry.”

Her cheery reply made me apologize instantly.

These otherworld guys keep strategizing with crazy moves.

“Ugh.”

It’s slimy, slick, feels awful.

“Not coming off. Ugh, seaweed smell.”

Not a dangerous attack, but living like this would be suicidal.

“Why do you guys keep pulling weirder stunts…?”

While ranting at the Nightmare Queen’s dumb tactics, a skill pops from the magic sea weed wrapping me.

<Health Absorption>

“Huh!? Urk!? Ohhh!?”

My health, boosted to 150 from eating during the Nightmare Queen fight, vanishes instantly.

Buff’s gone.

Health keeps draining every few seconds.

“No, stop! Urk!?”

She grows again, conjures fire in her hand, and aims it at the magic sea weed.

<LV95 Hellfire Casting>

Using a terrifying skill while I’m health-drained shocks me.

She really wasn’t trying to kill me?

But the fire grows endlessly.

“Hey, don’t! Stop!”

That’ll blow up the house!

But the casting’s slow.

“Hah!?”

The magic sea weed, swelling near me, wraps her too, dressing her in seaweed.

“Oh, I’m too sensitive. Eek?”

[Level up.]

She’s charming even in this mess?

Like me, the giant Queen’s trapped in seaweed.

<Health Absorption>

“Eek!?”

She shrinks back to figure size to escape, but the seaweed buries her, triggering <Health Absorption> and—

<Normal attacks deflected.>

She’s struggling but getting eaten.

She’s over level 40,000!

—How’s it feel, giant?

“What?”

—No more carelessly boosting your level.

It’s not telepathy—a new resonance, words written in the air like a skill display.

We’re both being drained, like corpses in seaweed.

But one ally’s mobile.

Somehow evading detection, it’s CatMan.

[What’s this!?]

He’s attacking with lightning, but only the Nightmare Queen’s in pain—seaweed’s unharmed.

I can move a bit, but the seaweed’s binding us too much.

CatMan’s relatively free.

[Yo, need a mortician?]

“Idiot! No, uh—”

The seaweed’s grip tightens, health draining, making walking impossible—I slump.

Can’t attack myself, and attacks don’t seem to work, but one idea hits.

If this is seaweed, dried and rehydrated, drying it might crumble it like nori.

“Dry, dry!”

[Dry what? Squid?]

“Seaweed dries too! The remote—on the shelf. Turn on the cold box. Quick.”

CatMan gets it, fetching the AC remote.

“My hands are stuck. Power button. Dehumidify.”

[How? I can’t read!]

“Damn it! Give it here.”

As CatMan moves, the seaweed targets him.

It’s slick, hard to shake, but I can use my hands a bit.

Health’s drained, so I’m weak.

Still, I manage to set the AC to dehumidify.

Dehumidifying’s not instant.

“Ugh, urk. Arghhh.”

I’ve got two hairdryers—one mine, one scavenged from a motel with a fridge.

Crawling to the bathroom, I plug them into the multi-tap near flipped RiceCookerMan, maxing them out.

Wiiiiing.

A studio’s perk is short distances.

Didn’t need to move much to grab them.

The trap from the Nightmare Queen fight, a Darin iron, is nearby.

[Plugged this too.]

CatMan gets traps, probably memorized the iron’s use since he likes lying on it when it cools.

Then—

I iron myself.

Chiiiiik!