‘Should I just tell everything? Or should I skirt around it a bit?’
While I hesitated between the two options, the extra students quietly left the lecture room.
By the time I made my decision, only Professor Radvisin and I remained in the room.
It was just that I took some time to think it over.
I deliberately glanced around as if waiting for all the students to leave, then lowered my voice as if sharing a secret and spoke quietly.
“I suddenly thought that she might be getting bullied by her colleagues.”
Just from how I started, it was clear I chose to dodge the question rather than give a direct answer.
Professor Radvisin’s eyes widened in shock, clearly startled by the content of my words.
“Professors, who should set an example for students, bullying a colleague…? Why would you think such a thing?”
“No one wants to be hated in this world, right? But if someone deliberately behaves in a way that invites hatred, it’s a manifestation of self-preservation instinct. Before others can cause them a big wound, they create small wounds for themselves. It’s a behavior rooted in trauma.”
When creating a character, trauma is an extremely important element.
It shapes the character’s personality, becomes the driving force behind their actions, and serves as a foundation for either growth or downfall.
Sometimes, I imagine what kind of personality a character with such a past would have.
Other times, I try to guess what past experiences could have shaped a character’s current disposition.
I’ve analyzed characters created by others and also crafted characters to fit into my own novels.
Based on my experience as a writer, I spent last night tossing and turning, repeatedly thinking over and over again.
After considering many scenarios, I picked the most likely one.
So this conversation now isn’t so much about acquiring new information as it is about verification.
“Previously, wasn’t there a time when Professor Skadi taught without revealing she was a criminal, and once that became known, she got into trouble? For example, her favored students showing disappointment and betrayal towards her, hurling harsh words right in front of her face, or even collectively refusing to attend her classes in protest?”
“Is that really just speculation? Or have you heard it from someone?”
I almost felt embarrassed if I had to say no.
But judging from Professor Radvisin’s stunned and blank expression, it seemed I had answered correctly.
“I’ve never heard it from anyone. That’s why I wanted to confirm with you whether Professor Skadi is truly in need of help, or if I’m just worrying unnecessarily.”
I swallowed the sigh of relief I wanted to let out and answered that, then continued more confidently.
“Even if the students weren’t told about Professor Skadi’s criminal record, the professors would have been informed. Maybe not now, but back when she was first assigned to the Academy, she was merely an untrustworthy criminal. Naturally, they would need to monitor her to prevent any incidents, and that role would have fallen to her fellow professors.”
“……”
“So, the person who first spread the word that Professor Skadi was a criminal must be one of the professors. Whether it was just one or multiple people, I’m certain they acted with ill will. They might even have gone so far as to incite the students.”
“……Ugh.”
Professor Radvisin stood silently for a moment, then let out a sigh almost like an exclamation after I finished.
I wondered if that reaction was positive or negative.
“I don’t really know that much… At that time, calming the students and their parents and explaining the situation was the priority. I recall that the Academy was in no position to conduct an investigation.”
Unfortunately, it was neither a confirmation nor a denial.
Still, I wasn’t disappointed.
At least it confirmed that a professor with ill intent towards Skadi did exist.
And Skadi herself probably had some idea who the person or people disliking her were.
“Well, if this went wrong, there might have been rumors about persecuting a righteous professor who tried to report another professor’s crime for the students’ sake… So it was an unavoidable decision.”
I nodded and murmured that I understood.
In this world of Nas-e, Skadi was assigned a righteous role, so the possibility that the whistleblower truly had just intentions was practically zero.
Would the characters in the novel know these circumstances? Of course not.
“As we talk, I’ve come back around, but the real reason I became interested in Professor Skadi’s case is… guilt. Though I’m not someone who should be talking about bullying others, actually, maybe that’s why I can’t turn a blind eye…? Although Reysir forgave me, I haven’t fully accepted it myself… If I could help someone going through a similar experience, maybe I could ease a little of the burden on my heart…”
Though I added a feeble excuse, the fact was that I genuinely couldn’t ignore Skadi’s situation due to guilt.
Even if she hadn’t hated me—the Karvald Austri inside Karbaldr’s body—I would still want to help her.
Because I didn’t want to become like those who turned a blind eye to bullying happening right in front of them.
“That’s not something Karvald needs to feel guilty about. But even so, your willingness to help someone is truly admirable. I can’t help but support you.”
Though much of it was insincere skin, the bones underneath were made of truth.
Professor Radvisin seemed to fully believe my words.
His expression was full of warmth as he looked at me.
Feeling a bit embarrassed, I hurriedly moved on to the main point.
“Professor Radvisin, do you happen to know how Professor Skadi usually gets along with her colleagues?”
“I’m sorry, but I don’t know anything that could serve as testimony. Combat professors have their private offices in the Combat Wing, not the Research Wing, so we rarely cross paths.”
The old professor apologized for not being helpful, but I actually felt relieved.
It was reassuring to know he hadn’t just ignored others’ suffering knowingly.
“Oh! Now that you mention it, I don’t think I’ve ever seen Professor Skadi in the Dining Hall. Maybe our meal times don’t match, or maybe I was too focused on reading papers while eating, but as far as I remember, I’ve never seen her dining with other professors… I guess that’s not very helpful?”
“That’s plenty helpful. Professor Radvisin has an excellent memory, remembering things from long-published journals. So it’s definitely as you remember.”
Skadi was tied to the Academy as a criminal.
Therefore, unlike Reysir, she probably couldn’t freely go out and buy food.
‘Could it be that she only comes to the Dining Hall when few people are around, hides in a corner seat, and eats alone in stealth?’
That much confirmed Skadi was clearly isolated.
“It’s somewhat embarrassing. That a young student less than a year after enrollment noticed this, while a professor who has worked here for a long time did not. When it was revealed that Professor Skadi was here on a community service order, I just felt the campus became noisy and was displeased.”
“I never stopped to wonder why it happened. Maybe unconsciously, I didn’t see her as a colleague, but as an unrelated other. And worse, just a criminal.”
The complicated expression on his face didn’t seem fake.
If Professor Radvisin had been a bystander, I wondered how I would have to treat him.
Thankfully, that concern was needless.
“Professor, one last question.”
“Go ahead.”
“Do you know where or what kind of person Professor Skadi was before becoming a professor?”
It was just a question to check how much the professors knew about Skadi.
But the look of confusion that briefly crossed Professor Radvisin’s face suggested he had no idea.
“Well… Karbaldr, seeing how worried you are, Professor Skadi must be a good person.”
“I think she’s a good professor who genuinely rejoices in her students’ growth.”
“Is that so…?”
Instead of answering me directly, he asked an odd question, then after a short pause, cautiously spoke.
“Within this Academy, probably only the President knows her detailed background. Maybe even they don’t know everything. So while I don’t have specific information, when she first arrived, instructions were given to be cautious and protect the students because she was someone who had killed before.”
That was only natural.
No matter how much Skadi declared she would rather end her own life than kill again, they couldn’t fully trust her words from the start.
I nodded calmly to thank him for telling me this, and then Professor Radvisin asked a question.
“Even after hearing this, your desire to help Professor Skadi remains unchanged. To your eyes, she truly seems like a proper professor.”
“It’s rare for an educator to still be passionate about their students, even after those students have turned their backs on them.”
“Ha ha ha, that’s true.”
The tension in his face eased, and a warm smile returned to Professor Radvisin’s expression.
“To be honest, when you first asked about her, I worried you might have been threatened. I’ve never heard she caused any trouble recently, but since she’s a criminal, I was biased.”
Good thing I hadn’t told him about Skadi being angry with me.
I quietly held my tongue, thinking that to myself.
Still, Professor Radvisin spoke again right away, so my silence didn’t feel awkward.
“So, what do you plan to do now, Karbaldr?”
“For now, I think I’ll try talking with Professor Skadi.”
“If there’s anything I can help with, please don’t hesitate to tell me.”
“Yes. If I can’t find a clear solution, I will ask for your advice again. Thank you for taking the time despite your busy schedule.”
“No, thank you for illuminating my previously dark perspective, Karbaldr.”
Professor Radvisin said that as he reached out to shake my hand.
Through that gesture, I knew he wasn’t just paying lip service.
I felt a bit awkward as I grasped his hand.
The wrinkled texture was unfamiliar, and the warm sensation strange but comforting, making me feel even more embarrassed.
How sweet