Hmph… As expected, I didn’t get enough sleep…
My head feels groggy, like it’s stuffed with fog. I spent the whole night thinking, replaying the scene of Zhinian forcibly kissing my neck over and over again.
Later, I don’t even know what kind of chaotic, nonsensical things I was fantasizing about.
In short, I woke up several times and couldn’t sleep soundly. It wasn’t until around five or six in the morning that I finally drifted off properly.
I grabbed my phone from beside the pillow and glanced at it. Rolling over, I sat up on the bed, brushed my bangs aside, and decided to zone out for a bit.
What’s the plan for today…?
In the afternoon, I’m heading to the café for the birthday party my classmates are throwing for me. In the evening, I’ll take Zhinian shopping to pick out a Christmas gift for her. That should be it.
As I mulled over and organized the day’s schedule, a crisp chirping sound came from outside the window.
I looked over and saw a few small, gray sparrows perched on the security bars, twittering cheerfully.
Every now and then, they hopped around on the iron bars with their twig-like legs, so thin they looked like they’d snap with a pinch.
I watched them, noticing they didn’t seem in any hurry to fly off. Quietly, I lifted the blanket, grabbed the mini camera from the bedside table, and tiptoed to the window.
The little sparrows glanced at each other, their nimble heads swiveling back and forth. When one flew away, another would swoop in to take its place.
Occasionally, other birds—ones I couldn’t identify—stopped by the security bars as well. I could only note them down based on how vibrant their feathers were.
It’s pretty lively today, huh? Usually, only a few birds stop by the bars. It’s probably because of the big tree in front of the window that attracts them so often.
I made sure to turn off the camera’s shutter sound and stood by the window, snapping several photos.
Some birds were preening their feathers, while others perched on the treetops by the security bars, pecking at bugs. There were also plenty of close-up shots of vibrant, colorful birds whose names I didn’t know.
Even as I left the window, the birds were still singing and dancing merrily.
After a quick wash, I went to the dining room and slowly started eating breakfast. The moment I turned on my phone, a flood of notifications from messaging apps filled the screen. Most of them were birthday wishes.
I patiently dealt with them one by one, and when I was finally done, I let out a long sigh. Somehow, even eating felt tedious now.
They say the morning sets the tone for the day, but I’d barely been up for long and already felt exhausted, ready to crawl back into bed.
A lot of the time, I don’t even know why I bother maintaining these social connections. It doesn’t seem all that necessary, but at the same time, I feel like if I don’t go with the flow, I might end up even more lost.
Or maybe… I’ve already sunk to the bottom of the river, maybe even turned into a stone embedded in the riverbed, polished smooth by the current—sitting there in the midst of it all, yet completely unmoved.
Ugh, enough with these abstract thoughts. I should just rest for a bit.
I chugged the remaining half of my milk in one go, grabbed a piece of cream toast in my mouth, and headed to the living room, plopping down on the sofa.
Dad’s on a business trip, and Mom left for work early in the morning, but she left a letter on the table.
I opened it and took a look. Inside was some money, along with a note saying she’s been too busy to do much, so I should take the money and go have fun wherever I want. She’d make up for the birthday gift in a few days.
After putting the money away, I finally had some time to sort through the photos I’d taken recently.
The past few days were study days, and besides reviewing, I was swamped with all sorts of miscellaneous tasks. Today’s a weekday…
…Saturday, when I finally have some free time to sort through them.
The first few photos, naturally, are of the adorable Zhinian. There’s Zhinian with milk foam on her lips, playfully making a peace sign with her hand, looking all cute and goofy; and Zhinian in the escape room, looking at me with shy, flustered eyes, completely at a loss.
Whenever I flip to these photos, I can’t help but recall the emotions I felt back then. Maybe that’s the whole point of taking photos—to capture those moments?
Since it’s still early, I went back to my bedroom and opened my computer. I imported those two photos, enhanced their quality with some software, and then transferred them back to my phone to set as my wallpaper and lock screen. Guess I’m keeping my promise to use them as wallpapers, huh?
There’s a bit of pride in the photos I take myself, and since Zhinian is way more important to me than anything else I’ve captured, choosing her for my wallpaper was a no-brainer.
As for the other photos in the camera, I didn’t bother exporting them. Sometimes, if you look at certain photos too closely, they lose their charm.
There’s the Persian house cat sprawled out getting its belly rubbed, the tabby stray that accidentally tumbled into a trash can while rummaging, the giant turtle sunbathing by the release pond, and the swan standing on the turtle’s massive shell…
Besides scenery, most of my photos are of various little animals. These are just from the past few days—someday, I might end up filling the camera’s entire storage with them.
Ding-dong~
While I was flipping through the photos, lost in memories, my phone chimed with a message from my special contact. I picked it up, and the corners of my lips couldn’t help but curl into a smile.
If Zhinian hadn’t suddenly curled up in my arms last night, looking all pitiful and falling asleep, I would’ve gone through with sending my own “invitation.”
But seeing how soundly Zhinian was sleeping, I couldn’t bring myself to wake her. At the same time, I gave up on the idea of dragging her out of bed tomorrow to join the bustle at the café. After all, she drank so much last night—she probably needs some time to recover.
And yet… Zhinian actually messaged me on her own initiative. Well, I couldn’t exactly turn down her request, could I?
Suddenly, the afternoon birthday party feels like it might be a lot more fun.
As per my usual habit, I arrived at the café called Deep Blue Mystery right at the agreed-upon time, as mentioned in the group chat. They say you can get any drink you want here.
Walking in and taking a look around, it felt a bit like one of those all-in-one facilities you’d find in a hotel or an internet café.
It’s pretty comprehensive—they sell all sorts of things, not just drinks and cocktails. I even saw someone order a bucket of instant noodles.
Ahem, that kinda lowers the vibe a bit.
Still, the dim blue lighting is pretty atmospheric, calming the mood quite a bit.
I sent a message in the temporary party group chat to say I’d arrived, and after lingering near the entrance for a bit, someone came to guide me to the reserved spot.
As soon as I got there, someone raised a glass and called out to me, wishing me a happy birthday. Then, a pile of birthday gifts was handed over.
I smiled and responded with a few words, neatly stacking the gifts to one side before finding a place to sit.
The table was covered with all sorts of drinks, all in large bottles since it’s easier for a big group to try different types this way.
I poured myself a plastic cup of orange juice and sipped it slowly, glancing at the other snacks on the table. I didn’t have much of an appetite.
When there aren’t many people around, I actually enjoy munching on something to satisfy my cravings. If I’m stuffed, I might nibble on some snacks to pass the time.
But when there’s a crowd, I have to keep talking and socializing, and that feels like such a hassle that I lose my appetite altogether.
“Yo, isn’t your childhood friend coming?”
Fang Cheng walked over with a glass of bright blue drink, casually asking.
“She’s not here yet. Probably still napping. She said she’d come on her own.”
This morning, after getting her message, I asked Zhinian if she wanted me to pick her up, but she turned me down.
She said she needed to catch up on sleep with a nap and would head over later. Maybe yesterday’s events left her a bit shaken, too.
“Got it. So, how’re you holding up with the birthday party vibe? Just so you know, this was all organized by Bainiao, nothing to do with me.”
“It’s alright.”
Mostly, it’s just too noisy. When there are too many people, it’s like my emotions get diluted. I can’t even get excited anymore—just numbly taking in all the chaotic, scattered bits of information, my head feeling all fuzzy.
Back in middle school, I had a birthday party like this once, too. It was organized by a girl I was on decent terms with.
That one had way more people than this—several times more—and it was at a KTV. That time, I was nearly knocked out by the sheer chaos.
Sometimes, I don’t even get what it is about me that draws people in. It feels like I’m just going through the motions of socializing, nothing special, yet somehow it leaves a strong enough impression that they’re willing to pool money to throw me a birthday party.
The venue was already booked, and as the guest of honor, I couldn’t exactly bail without seeming rude. So, here I am, half-forced into it—same as last time.
“Oh, right, Bainiao asked me to give you this. Said it’s your birthday gift. Also asked if you could snap a few photos of everyone and share them in the group chat.”
As if suddenly remembering something, Fang Cheng, who was about to slip away to chat with others, paused mid-step, turned back, and handed me a box while speaking.
I opened it and saw, to my surprise, a camera of the same type as the one Zhinian gave me. It was blue, too, but a size larger and with a more refined design.
The topic of taking photos had come up in the group chat this morning. I’d originally planned to use my phone since it has better resolution, but since Bainiao specifically asked me to use this camera, I figured I’d make do.
Once some classmates heard I was about to take photos, they quickly gathered a group to pick out nice spots for backdrops and struck all sorts of poses.
I’d learned some basic photography techniques, so the pictures I took seemed to satisfy them well enough.
…
While I was diligently snapping photos for everyone, I didn’t notice someone quietly appear beside me. Fang Cheng patted my shoulder and nodded toward my side.
Puzzled, I looked over and met a pair of eyes like red agates, burning with the flames of jealousy.
“Gu Fan… why aren’t you using the camera I gave you?”
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