Being half-unemployed makes you cozy up to the TV.
Personally, I prefer the shows on cable TV over those companies claiming to stream every video in the world.
Sure, I’m a guy in my thirties, but I quite enjoy travel programs and shows like Video Album Mountain.
You know, the vibe of a temple bell ringing through a valley in the autumn-tinted mountains.
I paused the channel for a moment.
It’s been a while—a music show with idols.
“Oh, these guys are familiar.”
I wasn’t super into idols, but after the military, I memorized a few names and, after discharge,
I know a couple of girl groups.
Of course, right now, two boy group members are staring at the back of my head with intense eyes.
“The song’s nice. The concept’s cool too. Are these guys doing well?”
Even my former students, whom I’ve parted ways with, knew this group.
I don’t have a strong preference for girl groups, but I think it’s nicer to watch when they dress freely with some thought to their outfits, matching their individuality, rather than synchronized choreography in matching clothes.
“Weren’t they a six-member group? Daya, Ai, Yuna…”
Huh, I know all their names, and the group’s pretty famous with a solid overseas fandom.
I think I saw them on a variety show together too.
They’re the ones who set my bald soldier heart ablaze, so I remember them.
But one’s missing?
I’m pretty sure it was a six-member group.
She was the prettiest and most lively, and I remember her face.
Curiosity struck, so I searched it up.
Back then, they were called a rookie group causing a storm, but now, like my reserve years, they’re probably three or four years into their career, mid-tier.
“Oh no.”
Maybe she was dropped from appearances due to school bullying allegations,
Or had contract disputes with the agency.
I searched up the situation, and it was a health issue.
“A fire accident?”
She’s been on hiatus for over a year due to health issues from a fire accident.
Carbon monoxide poisoning and burns on her skin.
But the public’s reaction?
‘She must’ve gotten pregnant and had an abortion.’
And when the hiatus got too long to sustain the secret pregnancy rumor,
‘She’s probably pregnant again.’
The way they’re hounding her is beyond just pushing someone to the edge—it’s like trying to kill them with words.
“People are really nasty.”
I try not to look at these comments and internet chaos, but it still pisses me off.
Are they so irritable from not eating rice that they have to attack someone to feel better?
Or do they have too much energy from eating too much rice?
I can’t tell.
Pop!
“Argh, damn it.”
Oh.
Here they come again.
I just wanted to watch some girl groups, you jerks.
Steaming them to death in RiceCookerMan’s belly is cost-effective,
But the rice he makes is too delicious for that.
Something was summoned from the gate.
As usual, it’s something tiny.
When I zoomed in, it’s a bipedal humanoid wearing a hooded robe that covers its face.
I can’t see the face because of the hood, but a glow pours out from what looks like eyes.
Is it human?
<LV69 Red Wizard>
A fallen warrior who offered over 100 living human hearts to gain demonic power and become a demon.
The description is pretty brutal.
In a world where people see levels above heads and treat others as prey, it makes sense,
But level 69?
Killing it would probably boost my level a lot.
Since the level 50 Mutation King, this is the highest level I’ve seen.
Killing a level 50 got me to level 51, so…
[What a peculiar canyon. Hmm?]
The bipedal thing with arms, wearing a red robe, tilts its head and looks up at me.
It looks really strange.
When it pulls back the red robe, a shapeless black mass with no distinct lines emits light only from its eyes.
[This must be a sealed dungeon. The space is large and wide. Strange items too. What’s this?]
The level 69 Red Mage looks around and takes off its hood.
From a black, flat face like a burnt wick, only the light from its eyes leaks out.
I’m still filming with my smartphone, but there’s no nose or mouth on the black face.
The Red Mage, scanning the surroundings, extends an arm hidden in the robe and sweeps it around.
Then it finally looks up.
It probably sees me, sitting cross-legged, filming the scene with my smartphone.
[A giant?]
Is it talking to me?
Well, there’s nothing else here that could be called a giant.
Is it trying to communicate?
“Who are you? Did you really kill 100 people?”
[Strange sounds. Can this giant communicate? What are you? A guardian of the dungeon your world created?]
“Why don’t you answer my question first?”
[If you know I killed 100 people, it seems our information has spread to your world.]
It just showed up on my smartphone. Don’t you guys have smartphones?
[They said spirits crossed over. Where are the spirits?]
Spirits, huh.
The spirits carrying the will to exile the fairy princess were all steamed to death in the rice cooker.
I should’ve tried talking to them, but RiceCookerMan absorbed some kind of spirit soul and can communicate.
“I ate them.”
[You defeated them? No mercy, huh.]
No, they just got steamed in the rice cooker.
[Your world seems to have prepared well. Maybe the prophets noticed. But.]
“Hmm?”
[No matter how big you are, you can’t handle me with that level. Hand over the dungeon’s key.]
I don’t raise keys.
“It’s a password.”
[Pass…word?]
“6974. Got it?”
It’s not a real password.
Just random numbers that came to mind.
[I don’t understand. Are you joking? Tell me how to get out.]
“Or what?”
[Level 54 is prey I can’t pass up. I’ll roast you.]
“Look at this guy’s confidence?”
I’m hunting ant-like otherworldly beings, and you’re gonna hunt me?
As I prepare to squash it with my finger, feeling dumbfounded,
The Red Mage shouts.
[Flames of Inferno!]
Something red and glowing comes from the Red Mage.
Wait a second.
Flames?
“No way, not the flooring and blankets, you bastard!”
…I’ve done wallpaper, but I’ve never replaced flooring. This is driving me nuts.
Gotta kill it quick.
With the Flames of Inferno chant, flames rise from the flooring.
It’s like dozens of lighters igniting, flames sprouting from the floor, but I quickly grab a wet tissue, cover it, and put it out.
Then I slam my palm down on the Red Mage.
Smack!
“Hmm?!”
Oh.
I underestimated a level 69, and it left only an afterimage, disappearing from sight.
Come to think of it, these tiny things are hard to spot, so they’re good at dodging.
If they’re not overwhelmed by size, they’ve got something going for them.
“Where’d you go? Hmm?”
[Too early to get cocky, dungeon giant.]
A voice echoes from behind again.
I look, and the Red Mage, in its red robe, is floating in the air,
Extending its tiny arm.
[Unquenchable Blue Flame!]
Shooting fire while floating in the air?!
Blue flames, closer to purple, latch onto me like will-o’-wisps.
It’s like a blue fireball.
“Whoa, whoa?!”
My T-shirt catches fire.
And it starts burning holes.
It’s not a big deal since it’s a stretched-out homewear T-shirt from high school,
But it’s comfy!
To put out the flames, I take it off and shake it like drying laundry. Meanwhile,
[Take this. Meteor Fall.]
Meteor?
I look up in shock.
Bam!
“….”
It’s not an actual meteor, but a rock smacks the back of my head and shatters.
The shattered rock has an item description like <Fortune>.
Don’t mess around.
It’s attacking with fire magic.
For an ant-sized thing, it’s pretty threatening.
The flames, like those from a lighter, don’t go out easily and spread the moment they catch.
Damn it.
Luckily, the flooring hit by the Flames of Inferno didn’t catch fire since it’s surprisingly heat-resistant.
Just a bit scorched.
[One hit’s not enough, huh? A giant, is it? Even with a low level, it has this much strength.]
“Why’re you breaking into someone’s house, burning stuff, and causing a mess?! Come here!”
[Think you can catch me with that sluggish body? Fireball!]
Damn.
The Red Mage shoots three fireballs—pop, pop, pop.
Each fireball is the size of a fist.
Getting hit would really burn.
Honestly, I’ve got a technique to smash this Red Mage and whatever else in one hit.
A palm strike that obliterates a wide radius.
Problem is, it could break through to the first floor or destroy the entire studio.
There’s a fire extinguisher by the fire hydrant in the hallway, but if I open the door and let this thing escape,
The insurance company would go bankrupt, firefighter demand would skyrocket, taxes would fund a bloated government, and public services would collapse.
“You’re done for.”
The room’s not huge, and the bathroom’s attached.
[Running away? Hmm?!]
I grab the showerhead from the studio’s bathroom…
“It’s short.”
[Drawing me into an unfavorable battlefield? I’m not falling for it.]
Water seems effective.
It follows me to the bathroom after seeing the toilet but floats back toward the bedroom.
Instead of the showerhead, I soak a used towel in water.
I heard that in a fire, you cover your mouth with a wet towel and crawl to escape.
I grab a cup of tap water used for brushing my teeth and step out.
In any world, fire doesn’t beat water.
But,
[As expected. Water won’t stop me.]
Wow.
The Red Mage is floating, holding a baseball-sized flame with both arms.
And it doesn’t stop at baseball size—it’s growing closer to a soccer ball.
[Goodbye.]
This won’t do.
I gulp the water from the brushing cup.
Then,
Recalling a rogue from a historical drama, I spray it out—Pffft!
The sprayed water clashes with the soccer-ball-sized fireball.
Pffft!
Ssssssssss.
The fireball and my water cannon collide.
But the flames don’t die down easily.
Should I drop my pants and shoot a piss beam or something? Just then,
As it prepares another attack,
I whip it with the wet towel.
[Kuhhh?!]
<The towel is reinforced.>
Stop messing around.
The hit lands, and the fireball cools and vanishes.
“You’re dead, you bastard. Immediate execution.”
I can’t forgive someone setting fire to my sacred space.
It’s just a room,
But as I spray water from my mouth and swing the wet towel like a rogue dancing,
[Urgh!]
[Kaaahhh!]
With a wider attack range, it can’t dodge and gets hit, unable to attack as it flees.
I’m swinging blindly, not even seeing it, but somewhere it’s getting hit by the water spray and wet towel, screaming.
It tries to escape toward the tinted glass door to the balcony,
But I block it with a spray of water.
The Red Mage sticks to the tinted glass door, taking my water and spit full-on.
[Kuh, in a place without water, only a dragon could use a water breath…]
Getting close to the balcony glass door, I grab a bottle of drinking water placed there.
I gargle it,
And spray a Jirisan natural bedrock water breath.
It can’t teleport anymore and, drenched, slides down the wall.
Small enough to pick up with my fingers.
And so, I captured the Red Mage.
But no notification popped up.
I also want to interrogate these guys about their identity or what good items they have.
And it mentioned dragons.
I opened the water bottle and put it inside.
“You thought you could mess around?”
Then I closed the lid and shook it.
[Kuh, kaaaaah! T-to end like this… ugh!]