The investigation with the half-baked detective was a mess from the start.
If I had to give it a score, it would be about two points out of ten.
“This is the staircase at the far left end, and people don’t usually come through here. If someone stole the test papers from the lab, wouldn’t they have used this path to leave the scene?”
“Ah, is that so?”
“From this hallway passage, you can clearly see the building on the opposite side. If someone stole the papers, there might be a witness who saw the scene from that building.”
“I see.”
“Should we try investigating witnesses in the building across from us?”
“Well…”
“Then, how about we investigate outside the building first and then head up from the first floor in order?”
“Sure.”
‘How can he be so insincere?’
Lure suppressed the rising frustration.
‘I’m the assistant, and you’re the detective!’
‘Shouldn’t you be more proactive in the investigation?’
The answers were half-hearted, the inspection of the surroundings was lackluster, and everything was just plain sloppy.
‘Is he trying to catch the culprit or not?’
He was a truly unreliable detective.
Still, the reason Lure gave him even two points was that although the detective’s investigation was a zero, the questions he occasionally threw at Lure were quite useful.
“Mr. Lure, if you were the one who stole the test papers, where do you think you would have hidden them?”
“I’m not sure. I don’t think inside the school would be appropriate. There is almost no private space, and it’s too easy to get noticed. Unless they were an idiot, they wouldn’t have hidden them in a place like that. They probably hid them secretly at home, right?”
“At home? Wasn’t that building the dormitory? That’s why I thought this was a boarding school.”
“Students whose homes are nearby commute from home. Only students whose homes are far away and don’t have enough money to rent a room elsewhere stay in the dorms.”
As a side note, Lure himself was exactly that student whose ‘home was far away and didn’t have enough money to rent a room.’
“I don’t think the culprit is a student staying in the dormitory.”
“Why?”
“It’s not the kind of room where you can hide something.”
Lure had heard that in places like the Imperial Military Academy where nobles attended, even the dormitories were flashy.
In such dormitories, privacy would surely be guaranteed, the furniture wouldn’t creak, and the blankets would be fluffy.
One wouldn’t even be able to find a single mouse.
But Lure’s dormitory was not like that.
“It’s old, cramped, and not soundproof at all. If you don’t store things like paper properly, the rats will gnaw on them. Most importantly, it’s four people to a room. How could anyone commit a theft and hide the stolen goods in an environment like this?”
This was also based on Lure’s own experience.
Lure knew that his roommate, Shelman, whom he was on bad terms with, had been in a secret relationship until last year.
‘I didn’t even want to know that.’
The room was cramped, and there was no suitable space to keep papers safely, so even without intending to, things like love letters hidden by his roommate would constantly catch his eye.
Therefore, theft was impossible.
‘Wait, is that why Shelman started hating me?’
‘Because I noticed his secret relationship, discovered his hidden love letters, and even realized they broke up at the end of last year? But I didn’t want to know!’
Hayes snapped Lure out of his brief distraction.
“It seems the dormitory environment is quite poor.”
“I’m telling you! My wish is to save up money and escape this suffocating dormitory.”
Then he could live without seeing the face of Shelman, who was always anxious to tear him apart.
“I thought it might be possible if I took first place again this semester and received an additional scholarship…”
To think the exam would be postponed in this way.
“As I thought, we must catch the culprit.”
Lure clenched his fists and shouted.
“Yes. Let’s make sure we catch them.”
Lure felt a bit skeptical at the detective’s reply, though.
‘I don’t think you can catch them.’
Still, it seemed the man was sincere about the investigation in his own way.
The half-baked detective’s questions continued.
“Then, is there a student who frequently went in and out of Professor Tophus’s lab?”
“Well, me and Shelman.”
“Shelman?”
“The student who was standing on my right earlier.”
“Ah, that person…”
The detective nodded as if he remembered.
“From what I could see, it didn’t look like you and Mr. Shelman were on good terms.”
“Well… it’s not exactly good.”
In fact, Shelman just disliked him unilaterally; Lure didn’t have much of a grudge against him.
Not that it was something he needed to tell the detective.
“But why did you two frequent Professor Tophus’s lab?”
“I don’t mean to brag, but we’re quite good at our studies. So we were often called by the professor.”
Actually, Lure was the only one who was called often.
Rather than being called often, Shelman…
‘He voluntarily loitered.’
Even though Shelman hated Professor Tophus and called him an octopus, he would try his best to look good in front of him.
In truth, Lure inwardly found Shelman’s attitude pathetic, but he had no intention of mentioning that in front of this novice detective.
‘It’s not something to just tell others. It’s not related to the case, so I can just let it slide.’
They weren’t on good terms, but he didn’t want to frame him by saying unnecessary things.
A novice detective like this was likely to obsess over trivial words and frame the wrong person as the culprit, so Lure needed to be even more careful.
‘As I thought, keeping my mouth shut is best.’
“What kind of student is Mr. Shelman?”
“Well… Shelman is diligent. His grades are on the better side, and he’s a student who works hard despite being as poor as I am. Should I say he’s sincere about Criminology?”
Lure tried to speak as neutrally as possible.
However, the detective’s reaction was not good.
“Have you ever considered that Mr. Shelman might be the culprit?”
“What? Oh, no. Why would I think that?”
“You’re not on good terms. Furthermore, Mr. Shelman seemed… quite desperate, if you don’t mind me saying.”
“Desperate?”
“Poor, urgent, and desperate to get good grades. Wouldn’t a student that desperate be more likely to steal the test papers?”
“How could you say that!”
Lure was surprisingly angry.
“Are you saying that the poorer, more urgent, and more desperate someone is, the higher the possibility they’re a thief? That’s an insult to the entire Criminology department!”
“Did I say something wrong?”
“Of course it’s wrong! This isn’t just any exam; it’s a Criminology exam!”
Lure said, huffing with excitement.
“Criminal investigation is a field of study that aims to achieve justice by catching criminals no matter what. Even if it’s an object of envy for everyone, it’s not exactly a profession that makes a lot of money. All the students in this public university’s Criminology department came here chasing dreams and honor rather than money!”
Detectives were certainly objects of envy.
If one became a great detective, they could earn a lot of money.
But how many students would actually become great detectives?
One? Two? Out of a hundred graduates?
In this era where detectives were overflowing.
Except for a very small number of successful detectives, the ones flooding the market could hardly make a living.
The students of the public university’s Criminology department were those who dreamed of becoming detectives despite knowing that reality.
Among them, the students whose families were a bit well-off were better off. Yes, friends like Ursula.
They were suitable people to engage in an occupation like being a detective, which lacked money but had honor.
The problem was people like Shelman, or Lure.
Students with no money, good brains, and big dreams.
If they chose another path with those smart brains, they could live a much more comfortable life, yet they chose a room swarming with rats to pursue the path of Criminology.
They were people for whom the path of a detective was desperate.
To put it another way, they were people for whom justice was desperate.
“There’s no way a student who studies desperately and frantically in this Criminology department would steal test papers!”
“Hmm…”
Hayes hesitated with a troubled expression, then soon bowed his head politely.
“I’m sorry. I made an insensitive remark.”
Fire can only spread if there is something to burn.
With the immediate apology, the flames that were burning fiercely in Lure’s mind gradually died out.
‘…it was too much. I didn’t need to get that angry.’
That detective had spoken harshly, but he wasn’t entirely wrong.
If someone had stolen the test papers, it was only right to assume that the suspect was someone desperate.
Just because someone studied morality didn’t mean they lived morally. Someone could still try to cheat on a morality exam.
Lure had his convictions, but he wasn’t stupid enough not to know that his words sounded naive from an objective standpoint.
“I’m the one who should be sorry for getting so excited.”
“There’s no need to apologize. It was impressive.”
“What?”
“Mr. Lure, you want to become a detective because of your sense of justice, right? That’s why you got so angry.”
“……”
“To be honest, I didn’t become a detective for such a grand reason, so I felt quite embarrassed while listening.”
The detective scratched his head as if shy.
“Actually, I became a detective for myself.”
“For yourself, Mr. Hayes?”
“How should I explain it… I lost everything in an instant due to a certain incident. My house, family, and friends. Everything. Once that happened, I didn’t know anything. Why this happened, why it had to be me, or how I could go back.”
“……”
“Nothing at all.”
Lure listened to the other’s story with his mouth slightly open in embarrassment.
He never expected to hear such a story so suddenly.
“I hit rock bottom in my life and was just waiting to die. But then, someone I met told me. That if I became a detective, I might be able to find the answers I wanted.”
“So…”
“Yes. That’s why I became a detective.”
Truthfully, Lure didn’t completely understand the other man’s words.
He didn’t know what had happened to make him lose everything in an instant.
However, since the reason he became a detective didn’t seem as light as Lure had vaguely guessed…
‘Maybe… I want to help him a little.’
After some thought, Lure spoke up.
“Mr. Hayes. You haven’t received a single request until now, have you?”
“Pardon? It’s not like I haven’t received a single one.”
“Is that so? Then you’ve only received one?”
“…How did you know?”
“Who would want to entrust a case to a detective who looks this bizarre?”
Lure crossed his arms and began giving advice.
“If you want to become a proper detective, it would be better to change your attire to something plausible first.”
***
The school tour continued.
However, the pattern of the conversation had changed.
Unlike before, when he was absorbed in tracking the culprit, Lure had completely let the case go.
‘Anyway, I don’t think Mr. Hayes will be able to do it, so Shelman or someone else will probably catch them.’
Instead, Lure chose to teach this clumsy novice detective while guiding him through the school.
“Appearance is important. People will try to gauge you by your appearance, Mr. Hayes. At the very least, a hat, coat, and cane are essential.”
“Hmm, is that really necessary? It’s quite uncomfortable.”
“If you’re going to be like that, why don’t you just walk around naked?”
“…I’ll make sure to dress well.”
It wasn’t just about clothing.
How to investigate a scene, how to act like a plausible detective, how to interrogate suspects, and even how to cooperate with the police.
Lure tried his best to teach Hayes the useful knowledge he knew.
In fact, in most cases, he was just repeating what he had learned at school like a parrot.
‘Still, it will be helpful for Mr. Hayes.’
Hayes wore a somewhat troubled expression, but he seemed to listen carefully to Lure’s advice.
“Well, then, I think I’ve mentioned everything that’s absolutely necessary. This is the last stop on the school tour. After we look around the department lounge here, we’re done.”
Now this investigation—or rather, the school tour and detective lesson—was nearing its end.
Lure hurried his pace and said, “Most Criminology students spend their time here when they don’t have classes.”
He was about to open the door to the lounge when Hayes pointed to the lockers lined up in front of the door and asked, “What are these?”
“Ah, those are the students’ individual lockers. As you can see, they’re locked with keys, so no one can open them but the owner. They’re usually used for storing things like textbooks.”
But was it because he was focusing too much on the explanation?
—*Clatter!! Clink!*
As soon as Lure entered the lounge, he collided with someone.
“Damn it…”
Shelman glared at Lure while sitting on the floor after falling.
“Are you okay, Shelman?”
Lure apologized, with a few tears pricking his eyes from the impact.
But something was lying on the floor.
‘Oh? A locker key?’
A key was rolling around on the floor.
‘It must have fallen when we bumped into each other…’
Lure picked up the key.
“What?!”
Shelman shouted sharply.
“That’s my key! Give it back!”
“But I have my locker key too? Let me just check if I’m the one who dropped it—”
“What?!”
Shelman got furious and tried to snatch the key from Lure’s hand.
Lure was startled and hid the key in his chest.
“What’s wrong? I told you I’d give it back after checking!”
“Don’t be ridiculous! What are you going to do with my key? Do you suspect me of being the culprit?!”
“No, what are you…”
Lure’s face turned red.
‘Why are you saying such things in front of others? How embarrassing.’
Mr. Hayes was right behind him.
They were detective and assistant in name, but in reality, he was a novice detective to whom Lure had acted as a one-day teacher.
What kind of disgrace was this in front of such a person?
Lure swallowed a sigh and quickly checked his own locker key. The key was tucked safely in his shirt lining pocket.
“Ah, mine is right here. Sorry. I’ll give your key back. Are we good now?”
He then stood up abruptly, intending to act as if nothing had happened.
“What do you mean, are we good?!”
Shelman burst out in anger.
‘This is driving me crazy. What is his problem, really?’
Lure truly couldn’t understand Shelman.
To get so angry just because they bumped into each other.
Was this really something to get this mad about?
But then, a heavy voice intervened.
“That’s enough. There’s no need to fight anymore.”
“Ah, Mr. Hayes. I’d really like that too—”
“Because it’s time to reveal the culprit.”
“…What?”
Hayes.
That clumsy novice detective.
He spoke while pointing a finger.
“The culprit of the test paper theft incident is…”
His index finger pointed at someone.
The person he pointed at was, without a doubt…
“Mr. Lure. It’s you.”
It was him, himself.
“…Huh?”
Lure’s mind went blank.
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