Jingle bells, jingle bells~
The shops along the road were playing “Jingle Bells.” It’s Christmas Eve morning, and many stores have already stocked up on apples, packed in gift boxes.
Even non-fruit shops and supermarkets are capitalizing on the holiday to push sales.
I still have some time before work, and since I woke up early, I can take a leisurely look at these shops without rushing.
Zipping my down jacket all the way up and tugging tightly on the gray scarf Gu Fan gave me, I felt warmth slowly spreading through my body.
I exhaled, watching the frosty mist linger in the air before dissipating.
It’s really cold out.
Wrinkling my nose, which felt chilly to the touch, I pulled out a mirror to check my reflection.
My nose was slightly red, and my eyes were a bit red-rimmed too, but it didn’t look too bad. I probably don’t need to bother the store manager to help me cover it with makeup.
Mmm… what’s Gu Fan doing right now? Is he up early like me, or still snuggled in bed, sleeping in?
Imagining both scenarios and considering the weather and temperature, I shook my head. I’d rather Gu Fan stay in bed. It’s so cold out—if I were already someone close to him, I’d hate for him to freeze.
It’s kind of funny to think about. The old me didn’t care about anyone. Whether someone lived or died wouldn’t stir the slightest emotion in me.
Back in elementary school, I’d occasionally feel something, but after being bullied too many times, I grew numb. Only when I was with Gu Fan would I let my true feelings show.
I usually don’t notice how my interactions with Gu Fan differ from my usual behavior because being around him feels so comfortable and natural.
I’ve grown used to slipping into a carefree mindset by his side… Well, not entirely carefree. I still often think about how to get closer to him or please him.
But I see these as sweet troubles. As long as I don’t do anything deliberately foolish, these worries will eventually turn into slow progress in our relationship.
Cupping my hands in front of my face and blowing warm breath into them, I squinted and spotted the maid-and-cat café in the distance. Better hurry up—the shop has heating, and it’ll be cozier there.
Halfway there, my still-active mind couldn’t help but wander to various thoughts.
How did I pass the time when I was bored in the past? I slipped my hands into the cotton pockets of my jacket, quietly gathering a bit of warmth.
I think… I used to imagine a friend, lover, or family member who was incredibly kind to me? Sometimes it was even a random stranger.
Their defining trait was that they’d care for me unconditionally, fulfilling all my whims.
Fantasies are just fantasies, though. While imagining them, I’d get carried away and giggle foolishly, but that was it.
When I returned to reality and faced life’s troubles, I’d sigh and feel melancholic.
Sometimes the fantasies were so perfect that the gap between them and reality felt too vast, damaging my confidence and quietly eroding the hope buried deep in my heart.
My eyes dimmed a little, but then I noticed my chest puffing out my down jacket, and my mood suddenly brightened.
I’m grateful that, at least now, I can try to stay by Gu Fan’s side, aiming to be his wife and grow old together.
In a way, isn’t this like a fantasy coming true? After all, Gu Fan, to me, is like the embodiment of those dreams…
…those savior-like figures in my fantasies aren’t that different from Gu Fan. If I had to pinpoint the biggest difference, it’s that Gu Fan actually exists.
Meeting someone as kind and perfect as Gu Fan in real life is genuinely astonishing. Every time I see him, my heart surges with complex emotions.
There’s inferiority, awe, admiration, and even jealousy. All these feelings mix together, ultimately wrapped in a cloak of possessiveness.
I don’t know how others see Gu Fan, but to me, he’s just so irresistibly charming. Maybe this is what they mean by “beauty is in the eye of the beholder”?
Ugh… no, no, that’s not right. Gu Fan’s a guy, so I shouldn’t use “Xi Shi” to describe him. Who should I use instead?
I racked my brain for a while, suddenly realizing my literature grades weren’t as good as I thought. I couldn’t even recall the names of famous handsome men from ancient times.
As my thoughts drifted, I was so engrossed in digging through my literary knowledge that I didn’t notice the sharp pain in my forehead until my ears caught a faint “ding~” sound.
Ouch, ouch, ouch… Covering my forehead, I stumbled back a few steps, realizing I’d reached the shop’s entrance and had just bumped into the glass door.
Tch, how embarrassing.
I glanced around, relieved to see no one had noticed my blunder. As my relationship with Gu Fan grows closer, I’ve started caring more about my appearance.
Fixing my hair and smoothing out my slightly wrinkled skirt, I took a deep breath and pushed open the glass door.
“Oh, Xiao Shen, you’re finally here for work!”
The store manager, who was scooping litter in the cat room, heard the door open and peeked out.
Seeing it was me, she happily waved the scoop in her hand—thankfully, she’d already dumped the cat litter into the bucket.
What stood out today was that the manager wasn’t wearing her usual flashy qipao. Instead, she had on… how should I describe it?
A Christmas-themed outfit, I guess? I’m not sure what kind of clothes these are.
“Sorry, Manager. I’ve had some things to deal with lately, so I’ve taken leave a couple of times. I’ll make up for it.”
I bowed to the manager. To prepare Gu Fan’s birthday gift and celebrate with him, plus some other miscellaneous stuff, I’d had to take leave several times.
No matter how you look at it, I’m a person with some pride, so naturally, I felt embarrassed.
I really like the vibe of the maid-and-cat café. The manager treats me well and often shares great dating advice, so I want to stay here for a while.
“Oh, no big deal. You’re a student—having a lot going on is normal. Plus, you’re in a relationship now, so taking a few days off is understandable.”
The manager winked with an “I get it” expression. A few adorable cats were circling her legs, and Flame quietly padded over on its short legs.
It glanced at the door, saw it was me, froze for a moment, and then—whoosh—leapt over the barrier.
“Hey! Flame, don’t run!”
The manager jumped in surprise, trying to stop the naughty cat, but one hand was holding a bucket full of litter, and the other held the scoop, leaving her no free hands.
Flame’s paws pattered on the floor. I bent down to catch it, but…
“Ah…! Flame, don’t do that! You can’t tug at my skirt…”
Ugh, why does it always go for my skirt…