I’ve started to become less and less like myself.
Before entering high school, I was already well aware of my physical condition.
So I specifically set myself a rule: ‘Don’t get close to anyone, avoid any entanglement of interests as much as possible’—a social guideline I made just to ensure my funeral would be as quiet as possible after I die.
Yet even after such strict self-defense, a little black cat still managed to leap over all the obstacles, barging in like a little demon king and turning everything upside down inside me.
After failing to find Zhi Nian in the hallway, I returned to the classroom, but my attention was scattered.
Taking notes in class, I kept zoning out, my mind wandering—a meaningless negative behavior that I never would have allowed before.
Even Shiratori noticed my abnormal state. At the end of the last class in the morning, she grabbed my forearm with both hands and forced me to meet her gaze.
“Are you feeling unwell today? How about I go get you lunch at the cafeteria first? You can lie down here for a bit. If you need, I can ask for leave for you too,” Shiratori said with concern.
“No need, I just didn’t sleep enough, let’s go.”
I shook my head, blocking whatever Shiratori wanted to say next. Before our familiar classmates could surround my seat, I got up decisively and walked out of the classroom.
Maybe it was the influence of Valentine’s Day, but on the way to the cafeteria I saw quite a few school-uniformed couples.
Using the crowds as cover, they secretly held hands and whispered to each other about the troubles they’d faced these past few days.
The new cafeteria was exquisitely decorated. The food wasn’t much worse than what you’d find in off-campus restaurants, and they’d even set aside two floors for dining.
But even so, it still couldn’t accommodate all the people who had stayed on campus just to have lunch together on Valentine’s Day.
My friends chirped amongst themselves and decided to head to the old cafeteria, where there’d be fewer people, to avoid waiting in line for ages and not even getting a hot meal.
The old cafeteria was so empty you could only see a few scattered lines. The aunties and uncles behind the food windows had drooping eyelids, and some had even pulled up chairs to sit down.
After all, no one would go out of their way to eat at the old cafeteria, where the food was just so-so.
I asked a familiar classmate to help me get a plate of cheung fun—the best dish at the old cafeteria—and handed over my campus card, treating him to his lunch as well.
He immediately beamed, straightened up dramatically, and gave me a salute, leaving behind a “Thanks, boss, for the treat!” before rushing off to line up.
Seeing me head off to secure seats instead of lining up, Shiratori bought two bottles of hawthorn vinegar from the vending machine with her card.
She then handed the card and one of the bottles to a girl who’d come to eat with us, and came straight over to sit beside me.
“How come you’re out of it all day? I’m really good at helping people sort out their worries, you know. If you have anything on your mind, you can tell me anytime—I’ll help you figure it out in no time.”
With a gentle smile, Shiratori spoke softly, pushing the unopened bottle of hawthorn vinegar to my side.
I waved my hand and declined, saying, “Not thirsty,” so she pouted, “If you’re not going to drink it, then I’ll have it myself. You’re our class’s basketball top scorer, can you help me open the cap? This brand of hawthorn vinegar is super hard to open.”
“…. Sure.”
I used a bit of strength to finally get the cap off the bottle of hawthorn vinegar.
Inspecting the bottle, I saw that it was filled right up to the brim with deep red liquid, which made it extra hard to unscrew.
For a girl with less strength, it really would’ve been tough to open.
I pushed it back in front of Shiratori. She gave a smug little “hmph hmph” laugh.
“See? Didn’t I tell you? Isn’t it much harder to open than the sodas we usually drink? But Gu Fan, you’re really strong! Last time I asked another boy to open it, it took him ages, but you got it in one go.”
I had to admit, Shiratori’s compliments were powerful—she made me feel like a child being taken care of by a kindergarten teacher, soothing me with candy and words even sweeter than candy.
Even I, used to putting on a social smile mask with others, found myself genuinely cheered up by her.
I just wanted to space out in peace, but after being stirred up by Shiratori, my mind had no choice but to return to reality, and I ended up chatting with her about daily life.
While we talked, an image popped into my head of that little black cat making a ruckus but failing to get my attention or comfort—curled up in a corner, pitifully crying.
And not only that, but in this domain that originally belonged to her alone, a strange white bird had swooped in without warning, pecking at the little black cat and making her hop all over the place.
The bird’s beak was small and soft, so the pecks didn’t hurt much at first, but after a while, the little black cat realized she was starting to bleed from the bites. If she didn’t fight back soon, it’d be too late.
No matter how sharp her claws were, they were useless against the white bird that ruled the skies.
My little mental theater didn’t play for long, though—there were too few students eating in the old cafeteria, so those who’d gone to get food quickly returned and sat near us.
The classmate I’d asked for help brought over a steaming plate of cheung fun drenched in salty sauce and set it in front of me.
Next to me, Shiratori had ordered a bowl of wontons.
Seeing Shiratori, her long hair down, opening her chopsticks to eat wontons, I couldn’t help but remember the little cat-girl at my uncle’s house a few days ago, who had gobbled up wontons without fear of scalding herself.
“Gu Fan.”
Her voice seemed to ring in my ears, like a hallucination—softly drifting over. Was it just in my head?
But in that blurry moment, my instincts told me this was real. That familiar call truly existed.
The classmates nearby, who’d been eating and chatting, all paused with their chopsticks. Shiratori, sitting to my left, shot a slightly hostile look to my right.
The right half of my body was wrapped in a gaze as hot as molten lava. My right elbow, which was resting on the edge of the iron table, felt a faint chill.
Reflected on the floor, I saw the shadow of a swishing tail.
Taking a deep breath, I raised my head solemnly and looked at the unexpected ‘acquaintance’ standing next to me.
“Zhi Nian…”
To my surprise, Zhi Nian really had come to school.
Maybe she’d waited for me in the second-floor lounge of the auditorium, or maybe she’d paced among the flowers in the botanical garden, pondering how to invite me out.
In the end, she chose to stand right here, with a plastic bag printed with the school store logo in hand, backpack slung over her shoulders.
Maybe she’d run all the way—her forehead was dotted with fine beads of sweat, and her blood-red eyes gazed at me, glistening, as if cherishing a reunion after a long time apart.
Her body was stiff and straight, like a wooden puppet that hadn’t been oiled in ages, and she pointed her head at me, refusing to spare even a glance for the curious classmates nearby.
“I… I want to eat with you. Can I sit here?”