Chapter 31: A New Emotion (2)

Yuri woke up early this morning.

Perhaps because she slept early, her eyes opened at an unusually early hour.

“Mmm…”

Why is a winter bed so warm and cozy?

Wrapped tightly in thick blankets like a cocoon, she stayed still.

The moment she’d unfold them, the cold air would freeze her solid.

“Ugh… cold.”

The heater was on, but winter’s chill was unavoidable.

Yuri peeked her face out from the blankets, glancing around.

“…Spacious.”

It wasn’t that her room was uniquely large.

Hye-yeon and Jiyu had rooms of the same size, but today, it felt especially vast.

I get it… I slept alone for the first time.

That’s why the room felt so big.

She’d never slept alone in a bed before.

Yesterday, exhaustion dulled the sensation, but now the room’s size hit her.

So quiet.

The room was eerily silent.

Without the usual morning clamor of family, it felt awkward.

After lingering in the silence and unease, Yuri finally pushed the blankets aside and stepped out.

She didn’t want to stay in that quiet any longer.

“Cold…”

Even in thick pajamas, it was freezing.

She grabbed more clothes, layering up against the chill.

Who’s awake?

Having slept so early, she didn’t know if Uncle came home.

He’d said he’d be back late, so he was probably sleeping now.

Yuri stepped out of her room.

“It’s even colder out here…”

The closed door had trapped some warmth.

With the heater on, her body would adjust to the cold soon enough.

She headed downstairs.

“Oh? Jiyu’s up?”

Jiyu was awake, staring at something intently.

“Sis?”

At Yuri’s voice, Jiyu stopped and turned to her.

Her face lit up with surprise.

“Yuri Sis woke up early…!”

“I can wake up early sometimes, you know.”

“No way! Yuri Sis never wakes up early! You’re not Yuri Sis!”

“Oh, come on.”

Yuri hugged Jiyu tightly.

Being the sleepiest in the family, her early rising shocked Jiyu.

“Ack! Can’t breathe!”

“It’s me, right? Right?”

“Yeah, yeah! It’s Sis! Let go! Jiyu’s gonna die!”

Yuri finally loosened her grip.

“What were you looking at?”

“Not looking! Jiyu was listening!”

“Listening?”

“Yup!”

Yuri followed Jiyu’s gaze to Uncle’s door.

“From Uncle’s room? What’s wrong? Something up?”

“Yup! No sound!”

“Sound?”

“Yup!”

Since coming to Canada, Jiyu always woke up first.

Partly because she slept early, but also because every day felt like a festival.

Her morning ritual was waiting for Uncle.

“No sound at all!”

“What do you mean, no sound?”

Yuri tilted her head.

No sound? Wasn’t that normal if he was in his room?

“No! There’s always sound!”

Having stood by Uncle’s door many mornings, Jiyu knew.

Sleeping sounds, bed rustling, light coughs—small noises, but she heard them.

“Today’s quiet because the door’s closed, right? No big deal.”

The door was usually ajar, but today it was shut, so maybe that’s why.

Yuri thought it was nothing, but Jiyu puffed her cheeks, unconvinced.

Seeing her, Yuri scratched her cheek.

“Probably fine… Wanna knock?”

“Yup!”

Jiyu nodded with a bright smile, clearly worried.

-Knock knock.

“Uncle, you awake?”

It was early, and he’d driven late last night.

He was likely still asleep.

But Jiyu’s concern made Yuri knock.

…

No sound.

“Still sleeping, I guess?”

“No! Not sleeping sounds!”

“Then maybe he’s out?”

“No! He’s in there! Different sounds!”

He was inside, but not making sleeping noises?

What did that mean?

Yuri knocked harder.

-Knock knock!

“Uncle, you in there?”

Loud enough for anyone to hear.

But the room stayed silent.

Even Yuri couldn’t help but feel something was off.

“Uncle… I’m opening the door, okay?”

Finally, Yuri decided to crack it open.

-Creak…

Carefully opening the door, she saw him.

Not on the bed—on the floor, collapsed.

“Uncle!!!”

***

Sometimes, when writing, I’d think too long.

Short bursts were fine, but past one or two hours—five hours—and my body would change.

An hour of deep thought brought cold sweats; five hours forced a reset.

Sleep, it demanded.

-Slap.

“Ugh…”

A cold, damp sensation on my forehead stirred my closed eyes.

They felt heavy, like iron was weighing them down.

“Who…?”

Slowly opening my eyes, I saw Mijeong standing there, brow furrowed.

“You’re up?”

“What… why are you here…?”

“Ugh.”

Mijeong sighed in exasperation and dragged a computer chair to the bedside.

“You were writing last night, weren’t you? You passed out.”

She was used to this.

Back when she helped with my chores, she didn’t enjoy it, but she did it for a reason.

Because I’d collapse like this sometimes.

“It’s been a while since you fainted.”

In the past, I collapsed often.

So much it worried others; my health was terrible.

Coming here, Ryan’s exercise lessons made me somewhat human.

Before, I was practically skin and bones.

“The kids came running, crying, thinking you were dead.”

Hye-yeon and Yuri, in pajamas, rushed to Ryan’s house.

Ryan panicked, unsure what to do, but Mijeong, having seen this before, stayed calm.

“Sorry… for worrying them…”

“Ugh.”

Her sigh wasn’t anger—more frustration.

“Am I your wife? Stop worrying us.”

“Sorry…”

Back then, I’d bounce back after fainting.

Now, my body felt like it had caught a cold, heavy as steel.

“Why’d you write like that? Last time was normal. What happened?”

“I don’t know… just… wrote…”

Mijeong stared at me, then stood.

“Whatever. When you’re up, thank Jiyu.”

“Jiyu…?”

“She noticed something was off first.”

She’d caught the difference between sleeping on the bed and the floor.

Lingering by my door each morning, she noticed the subtle shift.

“I’ll make porridge. Eat when you’re up.”

“No… don’t…”

“What? I can make porridge.”

“Don’t… do anything…”

Once, after a collapse, Mijeong made porridge.

I ate it out of gratitude and suffered for a week.

“Anyway, I’m off to work. Call if something’s up.”

“Thanks…”

As Mijeong left, I stared blankly at the ceiling alone.

Sorry… must’ve scared them.

Opening the door to find someone collapsed would be shocking.

I lifted the blanket to check myself.

Good, they put pajamas on me.

I couldn’t recall, but I was probably in underwear.

Ryan must’ve dressed me.

I pulled the blanket back up.

Head hurts.

I’d overworked myself yesterday.

The rare surge of inspiration and excitement overwhelmed me.

A few days’ rest would fix it, so I decided to lie low today.

Need to feed the kids…

Honestly, I wasn’t in pain.

Muscle spasms persisted, but it was more heaviness than pain.

It’s been a while.

Fainting hadn’t happened in years.

Five? Six?

It used to happen often.

In my 20s… emotions were hard to control.

Writing based on emotions, it happened a lot back then.

Transcribing new feelings overwhelmed my body.

-Knock knock.

Then, a knock.

Only one person would knock.

“Come in.”

-Creak.

The door opened.

Hye-yeon stood there with a tray.

“Uncle, you okay?”

“Yeah… I’m fine…”

“I made porridge.”

“…”

“Not Aunt Mijeong. Grandpa Marcello made it.”

“Thank goodness…”

Relief washed over me.

Marcello was a great cook; even Korean porridge would be perfect in his hands.

“Sorry… scared you, huh…?”

“No, it’s okay.”

Hye-yeon smiled, setting the porridge beside me.

“Rest well, Uncle.”

“Thanks…”

As she left, I stared at the porridge.

Sleep a bit more…

The aroma was tempting, but sleep’s pull was stronger.

I drifted off again.