Chapter 30: A New Emotion

Driving home, I recalled what happened earlier.

Love…

How long had it been since I last heard that word?

So long, I couldn’t remember.

Was it from my older sister when I was young?

Or a girlfriend in my 20s?

Maybe a playful jest from a fan I met by chance?

I can’t recall.

I must have heard it somewhere, but my hectic life blurred the memory.

No, she didn’t say “love”…

Nicole didn’t say she loved me.

She only asked to share happiness.

Yet, somehow, those words felt like “I love you” to me.

Why?

Strange. Weird. Odd.

Am I this prone to delusions?

As a writer, I might have some imagination, but I prefer realistic depictions.

I don’t indulge in such fantasies.

“Hoo…”

In the empty car, I sighed quietly.

Regardless, I agreed to Nicole’s words.

Maybe it’s not that she loves me, but that I love her…

Me, loving someone?

Honestly, if Mijeong heard, she’d clutch her stomach laughing.

No, not just her—everyone who knows me would burst out laughing.

“Love…”

A new emotion?

Or one I knew but forgot?

Or just a fleeting moment?

I don’t know… I don’t get it.

But one thing I knew:

My hands kept trembling.

From the moment I met Nicole, even now.

When I relaxed them, they shook uncontrollably.

When I’m inspired… or deep in thought.

Inspiration or overthinking.

Simply put, my body was excited.

A blessing and a warning from my body.

Still trembling.

My hands shook from meeting Nicole until this moment.

Enough to interfere with driving.

“I want to… write.”

Some say I learned emotions through writing.

It’s the opposite.

I love capturing my feelings in words.

More precisely, more delicately than anyone.

“Multitasking…”

I was dying to write.

But this feeling was too different from Temperance.

If I couldn’t blend love with temperance, I’d write about love itself.

“Hoo…”

The car rolled on and reached home.

Despite hours of driving, I wasn’t tired.

Instead, the urge to organize my racing thoughts made me worry about crashing.

Are the kids back?

I calmed my pounding heart.

I couldn’t face them like this.

Rubbing my face once, I got out of the car.

-Slam.

As I stepped out, the garage door opened suddenly.

Turning, I saw Hye-yeon holding Jiyu, standing at the door.

“Uncle!”

Jiyu wriggled out of Hye-yeon’s arms and ran to me.

Seeing her, a smile spread across my face.

“Whoa, Jiyu! Slow down, you’ll fall!”

I scooped up the running Jiyu.

“Hehe! Jiyu missed Uncle! Did Uncle miss Jiyu?”

“Of course! Missed you tons! You know how much I love you!”

“How much?”

“As much as the sky and universe!”

“Pfft! Jiyu loves Uncle infinity!”

“Oh, wow…”

Who taught her that?

“Uncle loves you that much too.”

“Hehe! Okay! Jiyu loves you that much too!”

Jiyu beamed happily.

Holding her, I approached Hye-yeon.

“Eaten yet?”

“Yes. Uncle Ryan bought us something yummy.”

“Oh? Marcello didn’t feed you?”

No way that old man didn’t.

He always brought food for the kids, even when we were there.

“No, it’s not that. Uncle Ryan wanted something other than Italian food.”

Ryan’s kids were with Marcello today too.

Maybe as thanks, Ryan bought dinner.

“Hamburgers and tacos.”

“Good?”

“A bit… salty.”

Korean food has sodium, but the direct saltiness is mild.

North American food probably didn’t suit her yet.

“Haha, figured. It’s cold, let’s go in.”

“Yes, come on.”

Holding Jiyu, I entered.

In the living room, Yuri wasn’t there.

“Where’s Yuri?”

“Sleeping. She was tired from playing with the kids.”

“Oh, really?”

Jiyu, Bessie, and Roy were the same age.

Hye-yeon played with them, but Yuri, being closer in age, was likely more comfortable.

With dogs around, it must’ve been easy, but the exhaustion lingered.

“Jiyu not tired?”

“Nope! Jiyu’s fine!”

“She napped earlier. She’s full of energy now.”

I set Jiyu on the sofa.

Then I tossed my coat haphazardly over it.

Thirsty, I wanted water before tidying.

“How was today? Was it okay?”

“Hm? Oh, yeah, it was fine.”

I grabbed water from the fridge and poured a glass.

The cool liquid soothed my parched throat, easing some fatigue.

“So, are you dating now?”

Sparkle!

Hye-yeon stared at me with gleaming eyes.

I set the glass down, avoiding her gaze.

“A-Ah! Uh!”

She seemed to catch on, but I kept looking away.

“I’ll keep it a secret.”

“Thanks.”

Even if she promised, Yuri would figure it out once she woke.

Good thing Yuri was asleep—I’d be exhausted otherwise.

“I’m gonna rest in my room. What about you two? Sleeping in the living room again?”

Hye-yeon and Jiyu exchanged glances, then shook their heads.

“We’ll sleep in our rooms tonight.”

“Yup! Jiyu’s sleeping in her room too!”

“Really?”

This morning, they’d all slept on the sofa.

It wasn’t bad, but with new rooms, it was better to use them.

Living room sleeping cramped their space.

“We’ll head up soon.”

I noticed books on the table—English and Korean textbooks.

“Studying?”

“Yeah. Talking’s tough, so I was studying.”

“Good timing. I bought some textbooks.”

The ones Hye-yeon had were from Korea.

For conversation, new ones would be better.

“Want me to grab them?”

“No, it’s okay. We’re about to sleep anyway.”

“Alright, tomorrow then?”

“Sure.”

Wearing just a jacket, I didn’t feel like going out.

They were in the car, so I’d bring them tomorrow.

“I’m heading to my room. Tired.”

“Okay.”

“Uncle! Dream of Jiyu!”

“You dream of me too.”

“No way! Jiyu’s dreaming of playing with puppies!”

Jiyu hugged my leg, beaming.

I patted her head and looked at Hye-yeon.

“Sleep well, Hye-yeon.”

“You too, Uncle. Sweet dreams.”

With that, I grabbed my jacket and entered my room.

The door, usually slightly ajar, I locked firmly tonight.

“Alright…”

Tossing the jacket on the bed, I sat at the desk.

Without changing, I powered on the computer.

“Let’s write.”

To sort the chaotic thoughts plaguing me.

I slowly tapped the keyboard.