Chapter 54: A Bed is Not Furniture

Is this the legendary Sage’s grudge?

It comes with LV60.

The resentment tied to magic must’ve made wizards prime targets.

Those making Memorials turned an attic researcher near a dragon’s nest into one.

Even then, the pity for those sacrificed for a grand cause lingers in the Memorial.

“A world without sacrifice or forced sacrifice.”

Suddenly preaching against warped totalitarianism.

Well, the level-up system shouldn’t cross over, but if it does, I’ll control it as the highest-level frontrunner.

If I become a superhuman through the gate, I’m ready to bear that responsibility.

“Hey, can you infuse my ideology into the rice drink?”

Seeing how RiceCookerMan acts and how people who drink the rice drink think of Ri Soo-chan, it seems possible to imbue it with specific thoughts.

So far, it’s mostly Ri Soo-chan, the rice cooker’s maker, influencing it.

But Ri Soo-chan made the rice cooker. I’m its master now.

Can I spread my thoughts too?

Killing people for levels is wrong.

That kind of ideology should be fine, right?

[Huh? Putting a gas chamber in me to exterminate—? I’m not so sure about that…]

This rice cooker—ever since I started grilling it with ideological training, it’s framing me as a monstrous fascist?

“Anyway, it’s possible, right?”

Too lazy to clear up the misunderstanding, I checked something else.

Got that sage mode… I mean, the Sage’s time.

With the Sage’s Memorial, I gained a skill to block Confuse.

Then:

<Trait: Sage of the Attic>

Identifies the effects of items entering your base.

Ignores mental and physical effects, maintaining unbroken focus.

Only activates in your base.

In a focused state, ignores mental confusion and charm effects.

“…This is like a study focus skill.”

The Memorial’s magic and Intelligence stats, along with the level, get absorbed.

Magic hit 88, Intelligence 120.

“Nice.”

Magic and Intelligence, which I hesitated to invest in, rolled in.

My advantage is using big, heavy objects to fight monsters.

Even the tens-of-thousands-level dragon lady was wary of me, wasn’t she?

I could overpower with weight class so far.

But the level gap still posed risks.

To easily handle top-tier invading monsters, I need more levels, stats, and skills.

The gate’s noisy again today.

“Here we go.”

Loud monsters are usually high-level threats.

Even weak ones can’t be underestimated—barking attacks, ghost possessions, all sorts of chaos.

I need to prep for combat.

Tss, tss-tss-tss-tss.

A bizarre sound, and something forms at the gate.

I threw a punch to one-shot it, but my timing was off.

Maybe it’s the glow during summoning, or it’s not fully formed yet—I couldn’t stop it.

=Ah=

“Hm.”

Zooming in, half is human.

The other half is a dark monster with a scythe-like arm.

Like a science lab model—half organs, half normal, creepily so.

Is this… the Asura Count?

The creepiest monster yet.

Its label reads…

<LV 435 Swordmaster / LV 350 Black Slaughter Sword Demon>

A demon inhabiting the body of humanity’s greatest swordsman.

Absorbed the body’s skills but uses half-baked swordsmanship.

Its scythe-like arm can cut anything.

“…What the hell?”

The human half’s body is familiar.

A man carrying his dead daughter, unable to cry, dried up.

Saying what use are eyes that can’t weep, he gouged them out and seemed to give up life.

This is the real Swordmaster.

That guy.

Why a friend? He was younger than me when he died.

In that world, having a daughter at his age was normal, though.

[Where’s the giant?]

Unlike the last invader, Cerberus, now dog food in the fridge, this one’s calm, standing still.

Hard to read its expression, so I zoomed in. Its eyes are beyond wall-eyed, eerily rolling.

It’s searching for something with those eyes.

[Your lacking skills reside in you.]

“What’re you saying, half-monster?”

[This body was lukewarm, but now my swordsmanship will be complete.]

Though tiny and hard to see, I recognized him from his memories.

The Swordmaster was LV 870 when he died.

Like they split him exactly in half for levels.

Corpse desecration has limits, you bastards.

“These damn monsters kill people for levels and defile their corpses too.”

This pisses me off like nothing else, even with my existing grudge against monsters.

No need to play around with this.

I grabbed the cordless vacuum to disrupt its stance, then planned to swat it with a flyswatter.

[Space Slash!]

“Fancy skill name—”

I was about to mock, but it was fancy.

The tiny Black Slaughter Sword Demon’s scythe-arm and the Swordmaster’s sword crossed, forming an X.

As the X approached, it grew bigger.

“Oh, uh.”

It sliced my cordless vacuum into four pieces.

Dust and hair spilled out.

“…Do you know how much that cost, you bastard!?”

Every time these jerks invade, something in my house gets wrecked.

Fueled by the vacuum’s grudge, I threw a punch, not caring if it exploded.

But it backflipped before the punch landed.

<MISS!>

A MISS popped up.

Even with a backflip, it should be in the attack’s range, but it’s using evasion skills.

[Impressive strength. A desirable body. Next, I’ll stitch myself into your corpse.]

It swings its sword and scythe-arm again.

Each swing sends a visible aura slicing through the air.

“Uh, what?”

It cut the vacuum, so if that growing slash hits the wallpaper, desk, or appliances?!

“Damn it.”

Having lost the vacuum, I had to take the hits.

<Trait: Shield King>

The lid’s already tucked into my elastic pants and stomach, so Shield King is active.

The giant slash aimed for my head and neck, but I blocked with both arms.

Despite reducing damage by 90%, a clear cut appeared on my forearm, and blood dripped.

“Stings.”

<Super Regeneration restores your wound.>

<Regeneration restores your wound.>

With Shield King, Super Regeneration, and Regeneration, the cut healed instantly despite the sting.

The giant slashes kept coming, but as long as they didn’t hit critical spots like my neck, wrists, or thighs, I was fine.

The hits kept boosting my defensive skills, but the damage wasn’t too bad.

[Hm. Your level’s low, but you’re no pushover.]

The half-sword demon groaned, seeing my cuts heal instantly.

My level’s higher than it looks, huh?

With four stat-doubling events, my stats are inflated.

With 2 stat points per level-up, my combat power’s way above the displayed LV 316.

Plus, monsters relying on direct combat probably can’t beat my weight class.

They need range for critical hits.

In a street fight, size is king.

Problem is, this thing’s too fast for my speed to catch.

Let’s try magic.

<Ice Blade>

My first time shooting ice from my hand.

A thrilling first magic attack.

Thanks to the Unmelting Ice Sword, icicle attacks are possible.

[Hah!]

But the icicles got caught in its X-shaped double slash, turning to water and dew.

Too weak?

No choice.

Gotta overpower with strength.

I threw a punch, and it sensed the force’s range.

<Blink!>

It dodged with Blink.

“Annoying bastard.”

Can’t rest after one punch—I threw a flurry, but it backflipped stylishly.

Another <MISS>.

So annoying.

It dodges point attacks. What works on this guy…?

The fan’s stashed behind the optional fridge on the balcony—gotta pull it out.

Fan… right.

This room’s small, so I stored the fan on the balcony after summer.

Monsters often target the Sprout Fairy, so I didn’t open the balcony window.

[Space Slash!]

[Space Cut!]

[IO!]

[Formless Sword!]

While I’m thinking, it’s throwing all sorts of formless slashes.

I raised my arms to guard, and my forearms took the damage, instantly healed by Super Regeneration.

The otherworld’s ghosts gave me some serious endurance.

It’s just scratches, but it’s starting to piss me off.

“You’re dead.”

I charged, and the monster panicked, swinging both its scythe-arm and sword to cut me.

Realizing slashes weren’t enough, it blinked closer, jumping to aim for my neck.

I swung the towel around my neck, smacking the Black Slaughter Sword Demon.

It landed on the bed instead of my hard floor.

[What’s this?]

Too soft to jump?

Now’s my chance.

It’s been enjoying the perks of concrete and flooring so far.

Take this, monster.

Instead of attacking or slashing, it plopped onto the bed.

Then the Black Slaughter Sword Demon sprang up.

Not on purpose—forced by the bed’s bounce, flailing its scythe-arm and sword hand.

My chance to attack.

These fast little bastards are a pain.

Thought about sending CatMan, who can move faster and see small things, but this guy’s level is too high for him.

Could crush it with a punch, but…

Headbutt Dino.

The trauma from the wall holes reminded me of the electric flyswatter on the desk.

Bzzzzt!

I swung.

[Arghhhhh!]

Didn’t go down in one hit.

The writhing Black Slaughter Sword Demon tried to land, but no way.

I slammed my butt on the bed again, making it bounce.

I swatted the bouncing monster like a squash ball with the flyswatter.

Zap!

[Urk, ugh!]

It finally lodged into the mattress.

Still not dead.

The flyswatter’s weak since it can’t break limits?

No choice.

While it was dazed, I crushed it.

[Guh, ugh, ack, grah! Space Slash!]

<Cannot swing sword.>

No pain thanks to Super Regeneration.

<Cannot Blink.>

<Cannot Blink with this object.>

<Object too thick.>

It’s desperately trying to Blink, but my bulked-up body’s too thick.

Can’t escape.

“It’ll be over quick. Stay still.”

Crushing it with my butt, a few more presses, and…

[Gak, ugh, urk!]

It’s dying.

A gas blast could make me Gas King Kim Skunk, Monster Gas Chamber Kim Hitler, but…

Killing a monster with a fart? I’ve imagined it, but no thanks.

We’re both sentient beings.

If I killed it like that, should I be proud of my gut bacteria?

<Level reached 436.>

Literally crushed it to death.

A whopping 120 levels surged, adding unprecedented stats.

With the Sage’s Memorial’s magic and level-up magic stats, my Magic broke 100.

<Space Teleportation LV1 activated.>

<Gate Utilization LV1 activated.>

<Choose three basic magic attributes.>

<Gain the second advanced skill of basic magic.>