“Zhǐnián, has your period passed yet?”
“… Hmm, not yet. It should be a few days away, I guess? I didn’t really keep track of it…”
“No worries. If Gu Fan wants to see, even if it comes, I’ll still wear it!”
Even though I’ve been a catgirl for a while now, when asked about something as uniquely feminine as my period, I still can’t help but stutter. My naturally timid nature makes it hard for me to talk about these things, especially when the other person is my dear childhood friend—it’s even more embarrassing.
Gu Fan glanced at me and lightly tapped my head.
“Ouch.”
“What are you thinking about? Silly Zhǐnián, I was just joking. You don’t really think I want you to wear a swimsuit, do you?”
“Uuugh, don’t you…?”
I curled up, holding my head and whimpering. When Gu Fan acted like he was going to tap me again, I quickly ducked down, only to feel the gentle touch of his hand stroking my cat ears.
He sighed helplessly. “The weather’s too cold. Even though winter’s almost over, I just can’t bear to have you wear so little in this chill. If you’re interested, then wait until summer comes—when it’s hot. Then I’ll really feast my eyes, okay?”
Losing the chance to show off my figure left me a little disappointed, but I knew this temperature was simply not suited for wearing skimpy swimsuits.
Even as a catgirl, whose body is tougher than an ordinary girl’s, I can’t handle this kind of ordeal.
I obediently nodded and reluctantly shook off Gu Fan’s hand from atop my head. It felt nice, but in public, I wanted to keep my composure and not lose control over my facial expressions. Gu Fan’s head pats were just too soothing; I feared I’d melt into a puddle of slime on the floor if I wasn’t careful.
Gu Fan led me through the shopping mall, wandering around without any clear goal, so I asked, “Is there something you want to buy? I’m pretty familiar with this place.”
After wandering so many circles, even with my bad sense of direction, I had memorized some store locations.
“I want to buy a thicker coat, preferably down.”
“Are you going to wear it now?”
I tilted my head, confused as I looked at Gu Fan bundled up thickly. He’s pretty hardy—he’s always playing basketball—so I figured he wouldn’t get cold easily.
Sure enough, Gu Fan shook his head and then pointed at… me?
“It’s for you. You’ve never been to the seaside, so you don’t know how cold it is there. You’d be freezing in just a thin coat like that.”
“Ohh… really? Well, thanks for your kindness, Gu Fan. But I’ll pay for it, okay?”
I hadn’t expected the down jacket to be for me. The feeling of being doted on burst warmly inside me. I tried to suppress my smile and looked away from Gu Fan’s gaze, then patted my chest, demanding he not sneak off to pay for it behind my back like before.
Gu Fan responded with a nasal “Mm.” Only after I gripped his sleeve and made him promise did he seriously say, “This is your New Year’s gift. If you really paid for it, you’d just be a kept man. That won’t do.”
“Alright then.”
Seeing how determined Gu Fan was, I didn’t insist. Compared to money, protecting the dignity of the boy I love was far more important. I wasn’t going to fight over a down jacket—it wasn’t worth it.
Relieved, I followed behind Gu Fan with my hands behind my back, secretly delighted in the blind spot of his gaze. It had been a while since we last met, so just being able to watch his back like this made me very happy.
After guiding Gu Fan toward the clothing area on the second floor, we took the escalator up, and I followed closely as he picked out down jackets in various colors to try on me.
“A bit small…”
Gu Fan muttered, squinting at the two overly puffy parts on my body, then reluctantly put back the light blue down jacket.
Although it made Gu Fan feel awkward, being complimented on my figure in a way made me dance happily in my mind.
As a girl—and a catgirl who cares most about appearance—getting as many compliments as possible was a bonus. I even wished Gu Fan would be infatuated with me forever, meow.
Women’s down jackets tended to be on the smaller side, which wasn’t suitable for someone like me with a special figure. Men’s jackets were too big, wrapping me up like a fluffy cat ball, which wasn’t flattering at all.
Gu Fan seemed to prioritize whether the jacket fit my shape before considering how warm it was.
Not wanting Gu Fan to get too caught up in it, I mulled over it for a few seconds and decided to sacrifice my looks in favor of warmth—so he could buy the warmest jacket possible.
“Are you sure?”
Gu Fan raised an eyebrow, staring at me with those ambiguous amber eyes.
“Yes, yes, definitely.”
I nodded firmly, but my eyes shyly looked away, unwilling to meet Gu Fan’s gaze head-on.
Gu Fan chuckled softly, then skillfully went around the rack and took out the most expensive down jacket for me.
“Try this one on. If you like it, we’ll buy it.”
I nodded vaguely, taking it, then felt something was off.
Gu Fan seemed to have expected this, already picking the priciest one. After all, clothes that are expensive are either very stylish or extremely durable, especially down jackets—the more expensive, the better.
I stopped in my tracks, eyeing a super cheap down jacket I’d spotted earlier.
Luckily, persistence paid off. Just as Gu Fan urged me to try on the jacket, I finally found the cheap one’s spot and hurriedly grabbed it.
“Gu Fan, I like this one. Let’s buy it. No need to change. It must be warm enough, and I really love this color.”
I said this against my better judgment, nervously pursing my lips and shyly looking at Gu Fan.
Backlit, Gu Fan was shrouded in shadow, his indifferent amber eyes quietly observing me. The flat corners of his mouth bore a trace of coldness.
“Brown? Isn’t that your least favorite color?”
“Uhh… that was before. I don’t hate it now. People change, you know.”
Just as Gu Fan said, the deep brown down jacket in my hands was truly hideous. If it were any other time, I wouldn’t even glance at it.
But precisely because it was so ugly, it was really cheap—more than twice as cheap as the thick navy jacket Gu Fan had handed me.
Gu Fan walked over expressionlessly. I forced a stiff smile and carefully tucked the price tag of the brown jacket deep inside, hoping he wouldn’t see it.
Unfortunately, as a frequent top ten student in school, Gu Fan was thorough in everything.
Without a word, he snatched the cheap jacket from my hands, flipped it inside out to check the price tag, then looked down, smiled with complicated meaning.
“Zhǐnián, do you know something?”
“Uh…?”
Feeling guilty, I silently lowered my head, afraid to see Gu Fan’s expression. I worried he might think I had embarrassed him and refuse to take me to the seaside.
Although this town is near the South Sea, and I could take a bus straight there, I’m the kind of lazy catgirl who’d probably never go see the ocean if Gu Fan didn’t take me.
I guess my homebody nature is deeply ingrained in my soul. I can only hope Gu Fan pulls me out like fishing for dried radish strips, to bask me on a sunny balcony.
Gu Fan took the other, more expensive jacket from my hand and turned toward the checkout.
I froze, hearing him call out from a distance.
“To punish a naughty little catgirl, I’m buying both.”
*****
As usual, today was another day I wanted to die.
Sitting on the back of the scooter, I gently wrapped my arms around Gu Fan’s waist. The super expensive down jacket I wore warmed my body but couldn’t thaw my cold heart.
If I hadn’t been so foolish, Gu Fan could have saved some money. That hideous down jacket was completely unnecessary. I truly was a complete idiot.
Pouting in frustration, I used my special figure to nuzzle Gu Fan’s back tightly.
Gu Fan, focused on driving, seemed to sense my sulky mood and smiled.
“Still upset about earlier?”
“Mm…”
Even though I was the one at fault, I couldn’t help but want to blame Gu Fan a little. If only he wouldn’t punish me this way or let me pay, maybe I’d feel better.
When it comes to money, I can’t help but feel heartache. Having done part-time jobs before, I know how hard it is to earn.
More importantly… right now, money means the key to my independent life. If things go bad with my mother, I plan to use this money to rent a small place near Gu Fan’s home—ideally one where we can smile at each other just by opening the window.
Of course, it’d be even better if opening the window looked straight into Gu Fan’s bathroom. Just imagining spying on Gu Fan showering makes my nose tingle with warmth. Hehe.
In short, my motivation to save money comes from Gu Fan. That’s why I hate seeing him waste his money like this.
“Don’t blame yourself, Zhǐnián. Actually, we gained something.”
“Hm? Gained what? That ugly jacket?”
My muttering made Gu Fan laugh.
“Don’t look at the color, but the down content is the same as what you’re wearing. It’s very practical, so it’s not a loss. If you don’t like it, you can give it to your mother or I can take it home for my mom.”
“Better to take it back to Aunt Gu.”
Though I wanted to keep it—after all, it was Gu Fan’s New Year gift to me—thinking about how it would just sit unused in my closet made me prefer to give it to Aunt Gu for warmth while doing housework.
Unlike my mother, Aunt Gu’s generous personality is probably similar to Gu Fan’s. She wouldn’t care much about how the jacket looks but would value its practicality.
If my mother got it, even if she pretended to be happy, it would likely end up untouched in the closet.
The scooter sped along, with Gu Fan skillfully avoiding heavy traffic. We arrived quickly at a remote old district, a small village under the town’s jurisdiction, mainly known for seafood.
Before I even saw the ocean, I heard the “whoosh” and “crash” of waves hitting the shore. Never having heard the ocean before, my heart started to stir with excitement.
Before reaching the sea was a long uphill road. There weren’t many villagers around; we saw almost no one on the way.
We wound around the docks filled with fishing boats, finally arriving at a gently sloping beach next to a seafood processing factory. An old worker in uniform was carrying a crate of fish inside.
Standing on a cliff, I gazed far into the distance. Where before there were only endless mountains or thick clouds on the horizon, now there was a vast, clear blue expanse.
“So the sea really is blue…”
More precisely, it wasn’t pure blue but an extremely pale blue, only visible when looking far out.
Feeling the sea’s grandeur for the first time, standing on the rocky coast, I was stunned for a long while, suddenly overcome with the urge to take a photo.
But when I opened my phone camera, the ocean on the screen looked plain and unremarkable—greyish, with no trace of blue.
Just like this small town, insignificant anywhere else, yet the powerful crashing of the waves proved its existence.
“How is it? What’s your first impression of the sea?”
Gu Fan walked over after parking the scooter. His sneakers crunched on the sandy cliff.
I took a deep breath. The scent at my nose wasn’t the usual thick city air, but a dense, damp smell mixed with lingering fishiness.
“I can’t quite say.”
Clumsy with words as always, I couldn’t accurately express the complex feelings stirring within me.