Chapter 1: The Ultra-Calm Reincarnation of a Salted Fish 

In the vast grand expanse of a grand temple, an utterly ordinary-looking youth lay on a pristine white stone bed, slowly opening his eyes.

What greeted his gaze was a stunningly beautiful girl with long silver hair. Her appearance was absolutely flawless, her figure… ahem, flat as a board.

What a pity, what a pity.

The boy who had just opened his eyes thought this to himself, silently shaking his head and letting out a sigh.

The silver-haired beauty before him froze at the sight, utterly baffled by why this boy was shaking his head.

“Boy, you’re dead!”

“Oh, then help me reincarnate.”

“What the heck?! Are humans nowadays this adaptable? At least act a little bit surprised!” The silver-haired girl was dumbfounded, her head practically sprouting three question marks like that one meme of that Black guy.

This wasn’t the yin cao underworld, nor was it heaven or hell—it was the divine realm, not the “domain” of common mythological understanding.

The silver-haired girl’s shocked expression fell under the boy’s gaze, as if he could hear her thoughts.

“Come on, isn’t it totally normal for humans to have this level of adaptability these days? It’d be weirder if I didn’t, okay? You’re a goddess, right? Do you know Aqua?”

“Who the heck is Aqua?! Totally random!” The silver-haired girl puffed out her cheeks, crossing her arms and glaring at the boy, looking like she’d get mad if he kept this up.

Pretty cute, but it couldn’t hide the fact that she was flat-chested.

The boy cleared his throat lightly and climbed off the stone bed under his butt, casting a quiet glance at his surroundings.

To be honest, the environment here screamed two words:

Shabby!

“How long has it been since you had a visitor?”

“Hmph! I’m not telling you it’s been five thousand years since anyone else showed up!” The silver-haired girl tilted her head upward with a defiant huff.

Good grief, five thousand years with no one else? No wonder this place was so run-down.

“By the way, since I’m here, I must be dead, right? How did I die? It can’t be that I just died suddenly in my sleep on a bed, can it?” the boy asked abruptly.

To his surprise, the silver-haired girl crossed her arms decisively and replied, “Classified! But sure, you can think of it as dying in your sleep if you want—no little bit of issue there!”

Puffing out her cheeks, she stared at the boy with both eyes, sticking out her tongue as if to say, Come on, beg me, and I might tell you.

Her lips curled into a smug grin, her two ears perked up, eagerly awaiting the boy’s inevitable “kneel-on-the-ground groveling plea.”

Haha, who’s smug now? Who let you be so proud just now? Now you know I’m the goddess, your big boss!

The goddess’s smirk morphed into a goofy grin in her imagination, but the groveling she expected never came.

She miscalculated. This boy actually didn’t care how he died.

Sure, he wasn’t an orphan with parents both gone, but he had siblings back home besides him who could carry on just fine. He’d always been the dispensable one in the family anyway.

Looking at the goddess’s goofy grin, the boy said with a salted-fish expression, “Hurry up and help me reincarnate. Ideally into a super ordinary family inside, living a completely average life.”

“You, you, you… Fine, you win. Get back on the bed, and I’ll reincarnate you now.” The goddess wanted to retort but could only sigh in defeat with one breath.

She pointed one finger at the stone bed. The boy nodded and sauntered back to it quietly.

Lying down on the bed, the goddess stood beside the stone bed, placing one hand right above his chest.

“You can still raise one request to me. Hurry up and say it,” she said impatiently.

“Hmm… For a moment, I can’t think of anything up. Anyway, you help me make my reincarnation centered around living a salted-fish life—ordinary point, super ordinary point!” The boy lay back on the bed, ready to close his eyes.

Suddenly, the goddess’s lips curled—not subtly this time, but into an unrestrained, mischievous grin.

“Damn, what’s with that smile?”

“Still want a salted-fish life? I’ve never seen anyone as salted as you in my whole life! If you can actually do it, go ahead and try!” With a loud shout one sound, a burst of silver light erupted from her hand, surging into the boy’s body.

His vision blurred. When it cleared, he found himself no longer lying down but standing up.

He was in one piece of forest, a water pond at his feet.

He glanced quietly at the water pond that side, which reflected his new appearance at this moment.

Even with his strong adaptability, he froze for one moment.

Silver hair like the goddess’s just now, fiery red eyes burning like flames, a height of maybe one meter five… or possibly one meter four. A frail body that looked like it could topple with a gentle one push.

This wasn’t a male body. Damn it, that goddess actually pulled this flashy stunt!

The boy—now girl—clenched her fists tight as the goddess’s voice suddenly echoed from inside her brain.

“Filo, how’s this body? I specially customized it well for you. If you can still live your salted-fish dream like this, my goddess title I’ll directly hand over to you!”

With that, the goddess’s voice vanished. Filo stomped the ground with one foot, taking a deep, angry breath.

“Filo… My original name was Fei Luo! Forget it, what I’m called now doesn’t matter at all.” Filo stood there in place, forcing herself to calm down with deep breaths.

As a 21st-century youth, what’s a little reincarnation and gender swap? It’s just a basic operation trope. Sure, it’s shocking when it actually happens to you, but a few minutes of surprise is enough.

A few minutes later, Filo looked at the water pond again. The reflection showed her new form—have to say, undeniably “perfect.”

Legal or not unclear, it was a “true loli,” radiating an intense urge to protect just by purely looking at it.

Too bad, now it wasn’t her protecting others anymore—she was the one who’d become the protected object.

“Whatever, if you got it then accept it. You actually say I can’t live a salted-fish life in this world? You underestimate me too much. Becoming a loli doesn’t faze me one bit…”

Before Filo could finish this sentence, howls echoed one sound after sound from the forest’s surroundings.

Wolves? In this forest? And it didn’t sound like just one head’s appearance.

“Crap, wolves aren’t something humans can handle—let alone with this frail body now. I need to get out of this area fast. I’m not about to get bitten dead by wolves right at the start, or that goddess will definitely laugh her head off.”

Filo took one step quickly to flee, but before she could move one step further, a pack of four-legged wolves leapt out one by one from the forest, surrounding her completely.

Filo… was in deep trouble!!!

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[Translator’s Note: Salted Fish = lazy and unmotivated person. And yes, THAT Aqua from Konosuba. ALSO, his name is actually Luo Fei (Asian name order) but I turned it into Fei Luo for the pun to be better]