After drinking half the yogurt, I pressed the cold, dripping bottle against my neck. The chilly sensation calmed the heated rush of blood in my veins.
My racing heartbeat, which had been pounding wildly, seemed doused with cold water, its rhythm slowing down quickly.
This physical intervention worked much better than trying to comfort myself mentally.
Phew… finally feeling a bit better.
Letting out a long, unconscious sigh, I opened my mouth, letting the straw slip from my lips.
I should head back to my room. Just drink the yogurt and stop thinking about everything.
As for Mom sitting in the living room… whatever. Let her do what she wants. I’ve saved up quite a bit from my part-time job. Even if I can’t afford university, it’s fine—as long as I can stay in the same city as Gu Fan, I should be content.
For a vulgar, incompetent woman like me, it’s better to recognize my place early and position myself correctly. First, I need to make Gu Fan used to my presence, then gradually take control of his life.
Always wanting to compete head-to-head with women far superior to me isn’t likely to end in victory.
I’m not someone with a strong competitive streak. My ultimate goal is to stay with Gu Fan forever, so what’s wrong with compromising a little?
My overly anxious brain finally cooled down, regaining its rational thinking ability. Normally, I’m stuck in a cycle of inefficient but steady self-doubt.
But in my room, I’ve let out all the negative thoughts that have piled up, and now I’m in a rare moment of clarity.
Sweeping away the fog clouding my eyes, I realized I’ve been too obsessed with wanting to dominate every aspect, hoping to make Gu Fan so infatuated with me that he can’t even look away.…to anyone else.
This idea is unrealistic. It might be possible, but the cost would be enormous. If I mess it up, the consequences would be more than I could handle.
Imprisoning and taming him is way too extreme.
As for infiltrating Gu Fan’s social network and slowly isolating him from society… ugh, I’m a bit worried my intelligence isn’t up to the task. A plan like that is like walking a tightrope—one misstep, and it’s all over.
After thinking it over, the safest approach is to stay by Gu Fan’s side honestly, leveraging our childhood friend bond and my unique cat-girl traits to make him dependent on me.
Then, find a chance to get intimate with him—ideally, a one-shot success that results in a baby.
If I can reach that point, all I’d need to do is find a place to hide, safely give birth, and with Gu Fan’s sense of responsibility, he’d never abandon me and our child to live alone.
Heh.
My right hand, gripping the yogurt bottle, was damp with condensation. I took a deep breath and pressed the bottle to my forehead. The faint throbbing in my head receded like a tide, fading out of sight.
As I walked toward the living room, my legs still felt a bit weak. Fortunately, my mind was clear enough now to control my body with relative ease, sparing me from embarrassing myself in front of Mom.
Pretending to walk steadily down the hallway, I kept my eyes fixed on a small lantern at the end, trying my best to ignore Mom’s gaze on me.
Just as I was about to turn the corner and reach my room, a calm, indifferent voice drifted from the living room.
“Wait a moment.”
My heart seemed to stop for an instant. Once my steps faltered, moving forward again felt impossibly hard, as if heavy boulders were pressing down on my feet.
My resolve drained out of me like a floodgate had opened, dissipating into the air.
I couldn’t reclaim that lost spirit. All I could do was channel the remaining energy in my heart, directing it to my legs.
I didn’t want to deal with Mom or care about what she wanted to say by stopping me. I only knew that I’d barely managed to stabilize my state of mind. Another blow might genuinely push me to another mental breakdown.
My willpower is already weak. If I kept plummeting into despair and breaking down in one short evening, I’d seriously worry I’d lose my mind…
The thought took only a few breaths. Once I felt my legs could move again, I stepped forward without hesitation.
But unfortunately…
“Shen Zhinian, come sit down.”
Mom’s cold, unyielding voice reiterated her command with an undeniable authority.
A deep-seated fear of her from my subconscious made my entire body tremble. My leg, still mid-air, froze in place.
…
My lungs tightened, making it hard to breathe. The lack of air darkened my vision, and as my raised leg weakened, I nearly stumbled to the ground.
I keenly sensed the atmosphere solidify, pressing against me through the air.
The atmosphere pressed against my body, my cat ears tightly curled, distorting the sounds they picked up.
“Guh…”
Propping myself up from the floor, I bit my lower lip hard—too hard. A faint taste of blood burst in my mouth.
I took a few heavy breaths, licking my lips to temporarily clear the blood.
When I turned to face Mom in the living room, my expression mirrored hers. A cold mother and a cold daughter—that’s our cat-girl family.
“Is something up?”
As I said this, my head was still dizzy, but I forced myself to hold it together, ensuring my path to the living room was a steady straight line, not the wobbly curve of someone about to faint.
I refused to show weakness or let Mom see my vulnerability.
The cowardly me from before is gone. I no longer need her love or pity. All I want is to be with Gu Fan, to grow old together. That’s it.
As a kid, I was like any other, dreaming of being a scientist or an astronaut—those stories and jobs from colorful picture books fascinated me.
I used to believe I was the center of the world, that everything should revolve around my wishes. But after witnessing Dad’s affair and Mom’s deliberate distance, I realized I was just a powerless nobody who couldn’t do or change anything.
Even now, grown up, taller, with a figure attractive enough, I’m still pouring all my energy into winning Gu Fan’s affection, constantly wondering if he truly acknowledges me in his heart.
So… can you please stop causing me trouble? Isn’t it fine if we just keep things as they are, each living peacefully in our own way?