[Jie:I’m going home for a bit. I’ll come over again tonight.]
Aihua’s note lay quietly on my desk.
Thinking back—what on earth had I said yesterday?
Clearly I was already an adult, yet I had acted like a child and even clung to my little sister.
Inept me—I had thought I had already changed.
Perhaps from the day Lingyin left, from the day I could no longer contact Lingyin, my time had stayed forever at that moment.
Neither body nor heart had ever grown.
What increased was only empty age.
The starry-sky projector lamp that had fallen on the floor—I did not even know when it had been picked up and set on the desk.
The black sphere-shaped projector lamp looked like a little planet.
The crystal-clear lens under the windowsill reflected the sky outside the window.
Today’s weather was still gloomy.
I felt I was always contradictory.
On one side I kept telling myself I was actually not lonely, and on the other… when facing this empty house, when sitting alone on the living-room sofa facing the TV’s black screen, I felt I was actually scared to death, uneasy to death.
I was only an ordinary person.
My looks were not outstanding either.
When I was still a student I had only been an unremarkable existence in the corner.
Facing the opposite sex I would feel flustered.
When in a general-education class a male classmate stood in front of my desk and asked for my phone number, I would only be so nervous I could not speak at all.
The studio was something that let me feel at ease.
Yet even when the paint ran out I could not open my mouth and say to the classmate beside me, “Could I borrow your white paint?”
Yes.
Inept me, unremarkable me.
Probably only when facing Aihua could I properly speak what was in my heart.
In university there had been a few existences resembling friends.
I had also thought of changing myself.
But with graduation I had only come back here, returned to the starting point, watching classmates leave campus.
I liked this place only because I could not leave.
It was only a morning no different from usual.
I picked up yesterday’s drawing from the desk and replaced it on the whiteboard.
As a magnet clip fell my gaze turned to the edge of the whiteboard, to that ring sitting on the tray.
In daytime the faint light it gave off was not obvious, but it was still warm.
When it came down to it, almost a week had passed and I still had not figured out what this was.
But when my gaze returned to the drawing on the whiteboard, looking at the halo floating above Lingyin’s head, I lifted the ring in my hand and looked up at it.
The cold, overcast sky through the glass was a stretch of gray.
The fuzz on the cuffs of my pajamas was edged with a little brightness under the sky’s light.
The ring pinched between my fingers, those few stars set upon it—were they hiding beyond the clouds, looking at me?
Halo.
…
What if…
Looking up at this red ring I slowly, slowly lifted it toward the top of my own head.
Like this?
…
Like an idiot.
But speaking of which, what would it look like worn on the head?
I had not actually looked yet.
Mm…
At this moment the curiosity of a half-baked artist arrived.
Having to observe everything before starting was an artist’s professional ethic, right.
Since I already had this material, I might as well look.
The phone was too close to myself (all right, in other words my arms were short) and I could not see very clearly.
I set down the phone in my hand and walked to the bathroom.
The light in the bathroom looked dim under the gloomy weather, which also made the ring held in both hands grow brighter.
Through the mirror, me in gray pajamas looked truly drab and dusty.
Well, whatever.
The point was not me, and I was not planning to go out today anyway…
All right.
Let’s try.
In front of the vanity the red glow lit my face.
As my arms rose the halo giving off a faint red light neared my hair, neared the top of my head, then stopped there.
Should it be a bit tilted?
Should this star face the side?
Looking at myself in the mirror and the halo above my head, I thought this.
But it really did look like it.
Just like a real angel’s halo.
For a moment I froze a little.
When I adjusted the angle, when that halo lit the dim bathroom above my head, my gaze was deeply captured by the halo on my head.
Without realizing it I let my hands down.
So pretty…
So a real halo looked like this.
…
Eh…
Eh?!!!!
What was going on?
All of a sudden I realized a problem.
This halo—it, it, it-it-it was floating on my head!
I lowered my head and glanced at my own hands.
The halo, with the motion of my lowering my head, also came a little closer to the mirror.
Indeed.
These were my hands.
I confirmed again that I had put my hands down, and that halo—it, it was truly “fixed” on top of my head.
No.
What principle was this?
What kind of high tech?
Something this amazing must be expensive, right?
Was this a gift I could accept?
No no no.
This was the effect how many cosplayers dreamed of.
What kind of black tech was it?
I considered myself well-traveled across the internet, but I had never seen a halo prop that could truly float on a person’s head.
No matter whether I lowered my head, raised my head, or even shook my head, this halo was fixed on top of my head as if it had grown there.
Even if I bounced around it would not fall off.
Generally speaking, even to achieve this effect you would at least have to put something on the head to fix it in place, right?
Magnets?
Could magnets do it?
It would be hard, right.
But this halo also had nothing like a propeller.
Clearly it was not the same principle as a drone.
Rather, besides giving off light there was no sensation at all.
No sound whatsoever.
It only floated above my head, glowing.
So amazing, so amazing, truly so amazing…
No.
Wrong.
This was not the time to marvel at how amazing this thing was.
Think about it and you would know something this amazing could not be cheap.
Compared to that, the starry-sky projector lamp I wanted to give was blown out of the water.
Was this something I could accept?
It shouldn’t be…
I should… give it back to Luna.
Speaking of which, more than a week had passed and only now had I realized this was not a simple ornament.
If Luna found out she would definitely laugh at me…
…
Right.
Take it off.
Take it off…
Wipe it until there was not a speck of dust and put it back.
Thinking this I raised my hand and gripped the halo on my head.
…
…
????!
Ah, huh.
I-I can’t take it off… Orz.
…
Why?
Why can’t I take it off?
Is there some button mechanism or something?
Was I able to put it on just now because I accidentally touched some switch?
Ah, heaven.
Wh-what do I do?
I, I can’t take it off.
Yes.
Ever since I “accidentally” put this thing on my head in front of the vanity, it would not come off.
No matter how I tossed and turned, no matter how I shook my head hard, nodded hard, did a set of radio calisthenics, or even stood on my head, it would not fall.
If I used my hands and pulled hard, besides feeling my neck get yanked sore, it showed not the slightest intention of leaving the top of my head.
What was going on…
This halo was as if it had grown on my head, as if it had become one with my skull.
I suddenly felt like those bratty kids in dumb news stories whose heads got stuck in guardrails or something.
This probably counted as—stuck.
Should I… ask Aihua for help?
But I had only just clung to her yesterday and today I would trouble Aihua again.
As an older sister my dignity would surely be completely gone.
I looked down at the time in the bottom right of the computer.
At this hour Aihua should be eating lunch.
Right.
Speaking of which, I had not even eaten breakfast.
I had tossed about all morning.
No matter what method I used I could not get this halo off my head.
Of course I had also considered taking a hammer or something and giving it a knock to try, but… something this precious, if I broke it, Luna would be very angry, right.
Yes.
Actually I myself did not dare use any hard, rough method to take it off either.
Even if Luna would not be angry, I wanted to treasure this gift properly.
But, however.
Growl— Just then my stomach started rumbling too.
If this thing was driven by electricity, well, it was not impossible to wait until it ran out of power.
But from the time I received it until now this thing had already been lit for five or six days.
The one who would be worn to death would probably be me…
The problem now was I could not go out wearing this halo, right.
Delivery… delivery…
Was there any way to keep the delivery guy from seeing this halo?
For example, hide behind the door?
But from now on would I not go out?
Although it did not feel that different from usual, when I thought of not going out at all…
On the weekend I would still go to the library to wait for Lingyin.
On Monday I wanted to see whether Luna would be there too.
At this moment I started regretting again—why had I not kept Luna’s contact information.
It was simply exactly the same as when I met Lingyin.
Inept me.
Perhaps it was just as Aihua said.
I had not grown up at all.
I was still that weak, that childish.