“U-Um… Anything’s fine. As long as Gu Fan likes it—ah, no, I mean, whatever you’re good at.”
This must be the first time someone’s ever done my hair, right?
“Something I’m good at? Hmm… Well, I was originally thinking of trying a princess-style look. I think it’d really suit you.”
Really… suit me?
The word princess doesn’t seem like it should belong anywhere near someone as timid and useless as me.
But I won’t deny it: the moment I heard Gu Fan say that, I actually felt… a bit of regret.
What a shame. I already said yes—if I go back on it now, wouldn’t that make me seem superficial and vain?
Useless thoughts kept bouncing around my head, and by the time I came back to my senses, Gu Fan had already finished tying my hair into twin tails.
He brought over a full-length mirror and set it in front of me.
“Hmm, after a little touch-up, Zhi Nian looks pretty cute.”
He rested his hands on my shoulders, nodding in satisfaction.
“Ah… that’s only because your hands are skilled. It doesn’t really have anything to do with me…”
I crave his praise so badly, but the moment I get it, I panic and try to distance myself from it.
I’m such a contradictory person.
I tell myself over and over that I want to change, but every time a moment like this happens, I instinctively run away.
Ugh… it’s so frustrating!
“Zhi Nian? Spacing out again?”
I saw, through the mirror, Gu Fan reaching toward my cat ears with his fingers.
He stopped just before touching them, pulling back as if restraining himself.
“I’m just… a little sleepy.”
I threw out a random excuse, only to be met with a response that hit me like a bombshell:
“Then take a nap on my bed.”
“?!!!”
My already slow brain completely short-circuited.
In the mirror, the twin-tailed catgirl stared blankly ahead.
Her uniform jacket had slipped down to her elbows, slightly revealing the strap of her undergarment.
“U-Um, we’re still young, and doing something like that would be too early! My body’s not attractive or anything! I’m not that sleepy—I can nap later if needed—”
What the hell am I even saying?!!
My mouth just went off on its own, completely ignoring logic or sense.
I blurted out that whole mess before I could stop myself.
In the end, I quietly shut my mouth and stared into the mirror.
The girl reflected there had slowly turned cold as ice.
Her tail was tightly wrapped around her waist.
In moments like these, I finally realize—I am like my mother in some ways.
I use indifference as armor.
“Ah… sorry. I’m not feeling well. I think I’ll head home first—”
Running away might be cowardly, but it works.
At least it spares me from further torment.
Before I could finish speaking, Gu Fan gently took my arm and gave me a light push—
I toppled backward onto the bed.
He lay on his side, smiling at me.
“Well, if you’re not feeling well, then just rest here.”
His gaze was soft, almost dazed, and I muttered something unintelligible before reluctantly accepting his offer.
“And also, I want to object to one thing.”
“…What?”
“Zhi Nian, your body is lovely. Don’t be so self-conscious.”
“…Pervert.”
My cheeks flushed with heat.
I yanked the blanket over my head, desperate to hide my embarrassment.
My body, huh…
I’d always known I was a little different from the other girls.
Walking, sleeping, even choosing clothes—everything had to be done with extra care to keep them in check.
But after that teasing remark from Gu Fan, I actually started to relax a little.
My body didn’t feel so stiff anymore, and my nerves slowly began to ease.
I rolled around under the blanket for a while before I felt a light poke on my calf.
“Mnh… What is it?”
I did take my shoes off, okay?
And my socks are clean too—they don’t stink or anything!
“Nothing, just thought you might wanna take off your backpack before you sleep. It’ll dig into your back and be uncomfortable.”
Now that he mentioned it…
I realized I was still wearing my backpack.
God. I don’t even have the energy to roast myself anymore.
At this point, the number of dumb things I’ve done today could fill an entire notebook.
I reached out from under the blanket and handed the bag to him, then peeked out just a little to watch Gu Fan’s back.
He neatly hung my backpack on a hook on the wall.
Then, noticing some chalk dust from the school wall smudged on the side of it, he even took out a tissue, dampened it, and gently wiped it clean.
It’s been so long…
So long since someone treated me this gently.
The warmth I never got at home, I found right here—with him.
Tears welled up in my eyes.
That rare sensation of being cared for—it struck a part of me I hadn’t even realized was starving.
To have our relationship return to this point, to have someone I’d seen die in my past life standing here again, alive, and even looking after me…
That overwhelming sense of happiness I’d been suppressing—
It finally burst, pressing hard against my tear ducts, making me want to cry.
Just as I tried to wipe away this embarrassing emotional mess, Gu Fan turned around.
His expression suddenly shifted—serious and concerned.
“Zhi Nian? What’s wrong?”
He rushed over to the bed, crouching by the edge with furrowed brows.
Being looked at with that much worry… only made it worse.
The tears I was trying to hold back came spilling out instead.
I opened my mouth to explain that I wasn’t being bullied, that I was fine, really—
But the tears were faster than the words, streaming down my cheeks before I could say a thing.
Damn it…
I’m not even the kind of person who cries easily.
So why now, of all times, am I falling apart?
Through blurred vision, I saw Gu Fan gently wiping the corners of my eyes with a tissue.
His voice was soft, full of patience.
“It’s okay, it’s okay. I’m right here. Is it the environment? Do you hate being here? Or… did I upset you earlier? If you want, I can take you home.”
“Ugh… No, it’s not that.”
I sniffled. I really wanted to tell Gu Fan that the reason for my tears was exactly because of his overwhelming kindness—that I longed to be cared for like this, and I didn’t want this gentle warmth to slip away.
After calming down a bit, I blinked my teary eyes.
There weren’t many tears left, and my nose wasn’t so stuffy anymore.
Better to just be honest.
“I just wanted to blame you for being too good to me. No one’s ever been this patient, this warm… so I couldn’t help but cry.”
“Haha, is that so?”
Gu Fan chuckled softly, then took the tissue and gently wiped away the last drops of tears at the corner of my eye.
“It sounds strange coming from me, but if you ever need anything, just come to me—I’ll always be here to take care of you.”
He spoke softly, each word causing my heart to skip a beat.
Gu Fan… has anyone ever told you that you’re really good at accidentally flirting?
“You shouldn’t say things like that to other girls, you know.”
I didn’t even know why I said it—I was shy and fidgety—but after the words slipped out, I just curled up in a ‘let’s see what you say’ kind of way.
“Hmph, so far, I’ve only said it to you.”
…As expected of Gu Fan, every reply perfectly filled the empty spaces inside me, like the last piece of a puzzle.
That’s why I’ve held on to him all this time. He’s always been so understanding, even as a kid.
Anyone else would probably want to rely on him too.
Gu Fan moved a chair beside the bed and sat down.
When I told him I was going to sleep, he nodded and said.
“You sleep. I’ll be right here waiting.”
Laying my head on Gu Fan’s pillow, just lying on my side, I could smell his shampoo.
Clutching the blanket tightly, a faint scent of fresh grass drifted from it—the same subtle fragrance I often noticed on Gu Fan—which made me feel safe.
My head felt a bit dizzy.
I wanted to sleep while he was here with me, but I didn’t want to miss this rare chance to chat.
My little feet, wrapped in white socks, tapped quietly as I faced away from Gu Fan, thinking about what to say next.
Where should we go this afternoon?
Maybe it’s better to decide later?
Or maybe I could secretly plan a surprise for Gu Fan—that would be nice too.
What about lunch?
I’m not picky, but I didn’t want Gu Fan to think I was.
And since it was his mom who cooked, if she found out I doubted her cooking, she’d be sad.
There were so many things I wanted to say, but for one reason or another, I just couldn’t bring myself to say them.
So frustrating.
CUUUUUTE
THE SUGAR
MY HEART CANT TAKE IT