In the evening, the blood-red sun made the silhouettes of the distant peaks even clearer.
A piercing light shone from the horizon, the final beauty before nightfall.
Su Xixia carried her grocery basket and walked into the apartment building at almost the same time as usual.
She found Li Mingshan collapsed between the wall and the floor at the entrance.
Panicked, she rushed forward and held his cold shoulders, calling his name.
As she searched for a reason, she immediately noticed the nearby shoe cabinet and the small drawer that had been pulled completely open.
The red banknotes were especially conspicuous in the faint light.
“… So you found it,” she muttered, her features twisting involuntarily.
Fortunately, she had made one trip there today.
With a smirk, she closed the drawer and dragged Li Mingshan into the house.
She took off her warm cotton coat and draped it over him, then found a quilt to cover him.
While the water was boiling, she crawled under the quilt herself.
Feeling his cold body instinctively seek warmth, she opened her arms and held him tightly.
Eventually, as Li Mingshan’s consciousness gradually cleared and he opened his hollow eyes, she asked, “Do you still feel cold?”
“… No.”
“Collapsing outside the door like that—you’re too careless! Didn’t you think about how worried I’d be? You nearly scared me to death!”
“You… actually have the nerve to say you’re worried about me.”
Li Mingshan’s body was still very weak.
This was likely the loudest sound he could make by squeezing out all his remaining strength.
“Was that your private stash!? If a wife finds her husband’s secret savings and doesn’t explicitly call him out on it, what’s the harm in using a little bit? You’re not a stingy person anyway.”
Su Xixia spoke in a deliberately high-pitched voice, forcefully suppressing the heartache she felt for him.
She knew this was necessary, and she understood why Li Mingshan was in such pain that he had collapsed unconscious.
But she still didn’t understand enough.
She didn’t realize how much weight that love rival held in Li Mingshan’s heart.
Even if she recognized it a little now, it hadn’t reached that level yet.
She still felt that if Li Mingshan could just forget sooner and leave everything to her, he wouldn’t have to suffer like this.
“Are you still lying? Su Xixia, how can you be so shameless?”
Li Mingshan’s voice was hoarse as he exposed her lie again.
“Me, shameless? What are you talking about?”
“We had a deal. I accepted you and promised not to kick you out, and in exchange, you would tell the truth. But now? You’re still lying. You violated the deal… so…”
After a brief moment of panic, Su Xixia touched the screen of the phone in her pocket.
“Li Mingshan, I’m pregnant. I threw up this morning, and I found out after going to the hospital for a checkup.”
After a period of silence, Li Mingshan’s body trembled, and he made a grinding sound with his teeth.
“How many more lies will be enough!? If you’re so afraid of me telling your family about your situation, then stop using lies to deceive me. Every single time we did it, I used protection. Even the condoms were prepared by you… and now you’re still…”
“I’m lying! Of course I’m not pregnant. I didn’t throw up this morning, and I didn’t go to the hospital. Haha, even such an obvious lie couldn’t fool you.”
“…”
Li Mingshan was stunned by how easily she admitted it, and for a moment, he didn’t know what to say.
Taking advantage of the silence, she pulled out her phone and quickly navigated through it.
Right in front of Li Mingshan, she clicked the upload button at the bottom.
“Starry Dream International Photography. I went there at noon. An Zhi is there, isn’t she?”
She suppressed her heartache for him.
She had to finish this, even if it meant hurting him.
She understood that as an adult, one had to become cold and ruthless to get what they wanted.
The things that happened when they were kids were just child’s play at best; no matter how exaggerated they were, they couldn’t change reality.
Even after getting her pregnant, Li Mingshan had still chosen to leave their hometown alone—
Even knowing she was no longer a virgin, her family had still insisted on forcing her to marry a man she loathed—
To get what she wanted, she had to be cold.
She had to pick up every weapon available to her to fight for an equal footing.
After Li Mingshan’s repeated interrogations and her own forced compromises, she had arrived at this conclusion.
She knew very well that if she only offered her body now, she would eventually lose everything and be dragged back to her hometown…
“Xi… what on earth are you…”
Li Mingshan’s consciousness was still a bit blurred.
Although he knew he was being played, he couldn’t quite wrap his head around the current situation.
“Everything you just said, I recorded it all and uploaded it to a private cloud space. I only just realized how convenient the internet is.”
“Do you plan… to give those recordings to An Zhi…”
Li Mingshan’s body shook.
His pain and fear were palpable through his skin.
“That depends on your behavior! I don’t want to make you sad either. After all, you could call my family at any time, and you clearly don’t want to forget that An Zhi woman… I’m very scared, especially scared…”
She was especially scared—that part was the truth.
Whenever she thought about being dragged home and hurriedly married off to someone she hated during the most important ceremony of her life, spending her whole life like that, she was so scared her heart wouldn’t stop racing.
The only person she could accept as her husband was Li Mingshan.
Things were supposed to go smoothly, yet reality was so twisted and painful.
“You… you…”
“A villain? A bad woman? A demoness? No matter what you call me, I’ll accept it! You have your reasons for refusing to forget her, so I have a necessity to continue being the villain. Now we’re even! Let’s just keep living like this!”
She refused to back down an inch, forcefully hardening the soft parts of her heart and swallowing all her guilt and heartache.
Just like Li Mingshan…
***
“… Let’s just keep living like this!”
Maintaining a distorted relationship through threats—that was Su Xixia’s answer.
I had originally wanted to force her to make concessions by exposing her lies, breaking the twisted deal we had made.
That way, I could get closer to An Zhi, even if it was just one small step toward the moon.
I didn’t expect her growth to be so unpredictable.
I didn’t know when she had learned to use recordings and the internet.
She used to be such a poor student…
Even this step was a failure.
It’s my own fault.
I was kept in the dark before, and I even planned to grasp this reachable happiness and live my life with her…
That was why I went soft.
My blood began to flow again, bringing a sharp, deep pain every time it passed through my heart.
Even if the choice was made while being deceived, one must bear the consequences.
The more I understood this, the more I despaired.
For a split second, the thought of giving up crossed my mind again.
‘I could just stay with Su Xixia and let our minds and bodies unite.’
Then, from deep within my heart, a question screamed at me.
‘How could I face An Zhi if I did that!? What would everything she did count for!?’
The dreams I so bitterly pursued seemed as though they would lose all meaning.
I was sorry to An Zhi, and I was sorry to my past self.
But what was I supposed to do?
Time is cold. It doesn’t pause for my despair or hesitation; it flows on relentlessly.
After Su Xixia finished speaking, she left my side.
As if nothing had happened, she took the ingredients out of the basket to prepare them.
*thud thud thud…*
The sound of the kitchen knife was chilling.
‘Is that girl’s heart made of iron?’
Unlike the tempting body that encased it, her heart was so cold and hard.
If that’s the case, why can’t I make myself stronger?
Even if I’m just forcing it, I can’t show any weakness.
Later, when the steaming food was served on the dilapidated wooden table, I picked up my chopsticks without hesitation and let the delicious food fill my empty stomach.
“I added a little extra sugar. How does it taste?”
Su Xixia asked.
“It’s fine.”
I couldn’t taste anything as I answered calmly.
The explosive atmosphere from earlier was gone as if it had never existed—
While dark currents surged beneath the surface.
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