Full and satisfied… Ah, wait, that’s not right. Gu Fan and I didn’t drink today—we only had coconut water and orange juice. There wasn’t any alcohol, so I can’t really call it being full from drinking.
Well, whatever. Anyway, right now, we’re strolling along the roadside, where there are hardly any people. As we walk, we’re digesting the meal in our stomachs and chatting together.
Gu Fan’s slender fingers brush against the back of my hand from time to time. The way he does it is just like when he teases cats: gentle, but with a playful hint, making my heart itch. It makes me want to grab his hand and order him to properly serve me—treat me just like one of his spoiled little kittens.
Remembering how Gu Fan teases cats—he’ll cup their faces and rub, testing if they’re obedient and docile—makes me yearn to swap places with them, to feel how happy it must be to have Gu Fan rub my cheeks.
The moment this thought pops into my head, I quickly shake it off and, with the hand farther from Gu Fan, knock myself on the top of my head, forcing myself to stop daydreaming.
I’m already this old—how can I still keep wanting to do things only silly people would do? What a hopeless idiot!
I scold myself inside, but I can’t help feeling a bit regretful.
The only time anyone rubbed my cheeks or patted my head was when I was little, before my parents divorced—back when my dad still wore his gentle mask.
Back then, my mom was so gentle too. She always had a happy smile, would hold my little hand, and warn me not to run around on the streets, or I’d get taken away by bad people. She scared me so much that whenever I saw a stranger approaching, I’d hide behind my parents, trembling, afraid they’d snatch me away.
“Haah…”
“Why are you sighing? What’s on your mind?”
Even though I tried to stifle it, Gu Fan still caught my sigh.
He lifted his eyes slightly, looking at me from the side. Our hanging hands mischievously hooked together. My mood was gloomy, so I steeled myself, flipped my wrist, and held his hand back, naturally breaking the barrier between us and lacing our fingers together.
“Gu Fan, remember you asked me before what I’d wish for if I had three wishes that could grant anything?”
“Mhm.”
“I was thinking… If my wishes might make you unhappy, so I’ve been too scared to say them out loud…”
Gu Fan chuckled softly. “Now I’m even more curious. Zhi Nian, you’ll have to take responsibility now. You’ve got my curiosity piqued, so you’ll need to soothe it. If not, I might get angry.”
“Nyam…? Gu—Gu Fan, would you really get angry?”
I could tell from Gu Fan’s tone that he was joking, but maybe I’m just too suspicious. I keep worrying he’s secretly mocking me under the guise of a joke.
It seems someone like me isn’t meant to be loved… I can’t even take a joke. What a wretched little catgirl I am…
Lately, even my dreams have been about married life, but Gu Fan always uses seemingly gentle words to emotionally freeze me out. Even my baby in the dream doesn’t take my side, finds me dumb and clumsy as a mom, and says I can’t even do housework right…
“Lost in thought again, Zhi Nian.”
A tired voice sounded from above me. My trembling cat ears were wrapped in a warm, large hand that gently rubbed them. The sudden touch made me freeze in place, my whole body tensing up.
“Nya…?”
Because my senses are way too sensitive, I get overstimulated much more than a normal girl. I couldn’t even think straight.
Standing still, I timidly looked up, watching as Gu Fan kept rubbing my cat ears like a kid with his favorite toy, not willing to let go.
My lips parted on their own, wanting to say something to stop Gu Fan, but I couldn’t bear to reject this warmth and comfort—even if it was too stimulating, to the point that tears were welling up in my eyes.
But in the end, I swallowed all those words back and let Gu Fan keep playing with my cat ears that were stuck on my head with no way to escape.
“Have you calmed down yet? Need me to keep going?”
“Uhn, I… I don’t know. It feels so good. I want to run away, but I don’t want to either… Gu Fan, you meanie…”
Right now, my mind felt like it’d been stirred into a useless, gooey mess, unable to think at all. I could only blurt out jumbled, half-formed words.
Gu Fan led me by the hand, and my halted steps started moving again, following him toward the unseen road ahead.
I felt like I was walking on clouds—my body’s weight half leaning into Gu Fan.
My eyes were pointed forward, but I wasn’t taking in anything. It was like my connection to reality had been severed.
When my consciousness finally returned to my body, I realized Gu Fan had led me into the new plaza, and we were sitting on a wooden bench near a ping-pong table.
Not far from us, in the center of the plaza, a bunch of workers were gathered around a construction platform, surrounded by a “No Entry” barrier.
I pressed my hand to my forehead. Even though it’s hard for me to tell if I’m running a fever, I could definitely feel my face burning. My brain must have overloaded on all that intense sensation, so it felt almost like I was sick.
“Are you back now?”
Maybe I moved my hand too much, but Gu Fan, who’d been intently watching an excavator at work, suddenly turned and smiled at me.
I nodded first, then realized that might not be the right response, so I shook my head.
“Um, sorry about before. My mind’s just not great these days, always spacing out. You don’t need to bother with me, Gu Fan. I can sort myself out.”
“How could I just leave you alone?”
Gu Fan shrugged helplessly.
Then, I saw him raise both hands to either side of his head, sticking up his index and middle fingers to mimic a pair of cat ears, then bending them down.
“A cute catgirl standing frozen in the middle of the street, her ears twitching like spirals—if I didn’t look after Zhi Nian, who knows, maybe some catgirl-napping villain would jump out of the shadows and carry you off to sell you.”
“Nya! I’m not a child anymore, that kind of thing wouldn’t happen!”
Being teased like that made me puff my cheeks in protest, baring my sharp canines at him.
Even my sleepy cat tail poked out behind me, pretending to be fierce—it fluffed up and stood straight as I joined in, trying to scare Gu Fan.
Sadly, my intimidation factor was way too low. Instead of being scared, Gu Fan couldn’t help but laugh out loud.
“Alright, alright, I get it. I won’t tease Zhi Nian anymore.”
Gu Fan patted my head like he was comforting a kid.
Even though I don’t like being treated this way, his head-pats are just too effective. I could only hum through my nose and then nudge my head up for a little more.
In a few days… Once my confession succeeds, I’ll get more than just head-pats.
Feeling smug, I thought this, but quickly realized—nothing’s certain yet. Better not celebrate too soon.
Gu Fan might not accept my confession. Anything could happen that day. The worst outcome would be getting harshly rejected and cutting ties completely—but I don’t think Gu Fan would go that far.
Even if I’m an idiot at handling feelings, after all this time together, I can more or less sense how much Gu Fan likes me.
We’re not quite at ambiguous lovers, but we’re not the typical childhood friends either. I honestly can’t figure out if I should try taking the next step.
If only life was like a text adventure game, and I could see a progress bar over Gu Fan’s head… Once the value is high enough, I could confidently make a move, then get to the collection scenes… Hehe.
Sitting on the bench, my mood lightened up, and my legs dangled, swinging back and forth.
“Um… Gu Fan…”
“Hmm?”
“Next weekend, we made plans to go out—do you remember?”
“Of course. That’s the stage they’re building for the anniversary performance. We’ll go to the new plaza then. The old plaza is closer, but it’s small and crowded, with lots of residents around. If it were just about convenience, I wouldn’t mind as a guy, but Zhi Nian, you’re a girl, so it wouldn’t be safe with all that pushing and shoving.”
“Mm… Gu Fan, you’re so thoughtful. I didn’t even think of that. Before, I just thought the old plaza would be more convenient…”
Even though I’ve been a girl for a while now, my mindset hasn’t fully changed about those little details. I keep thinking “just make do”—the simpler the better.
But I want to be a good wife and mother. I shouldn’t think like that. Sure, being casual makes things easier for me, but if Gu Fan saw his catgirl wife being so sloppy, and our future baby sees their mom lying around like a lazy worm, even if they say it’s fine, they’ll mind deep down.
Everyone’s like that. No matter how much you dress it up, there will always be a moment of annoyance, so I have to avoid that from the start.
Thinking this, I decided to continue the conversation.
“Gu Fan, you’re only free on Sunday? Do you have to stay home and rest on Friday and Saturday, or are you busy with something?”
I remembered when we went home for Qingming Festival to sweep ancestors’ graves yesterday, Gu Fan told me in his message that he could only spend the last of his three-day anniversary break with me.
If we were just ordinary friends, it wouldn’t be right to ask about his private business.
But now, since I want to take it further, I have to be bold—imagine myself as his fiancée and ask how he’s spending his weekend in a normal tone.
Gu Fan nodded. “Yeah, I really am busy. My friends booked me in advance for those two days, and there’s some special stuff I need to discuss with them. Also, those two days are the opening ceremonies, so there’ll be crowds. I figured I’d leave the less busy third day for you, Zhi Nian. But if you mind, I can cancel with them and spend all three days with you.”
Ahh, I really want to accept Gu Fan’s suggestion. I’m the one who deserves the most of his time. Who cares about those friends—he should just stay with me and only look at me, right?
I wanted to say this to Gu Fan, but what actually came out was a much more appropriate reply.
“No, no, it’s fine. If your friends already booked you, you should enjoy those first two days with them. Take it as scouting out the area in advance—then on our day, you can play tour guide and show me around.”
Endure it—keep all those real feelings hidden away. Keep myself wrapped up in the image of a good, gentle wife. That’s the only way to maintain my poise and not come off like some loudmouthed shrew that everyone hates.
I told myself this as I secretly pinched my thigh, forcing myself to show at least a passable smile.
Gu Fan quietly watched me for a while, didn’t say much, and just nodded slightly.
“Alright, then you should get plenty of rest those two days, Zhi Nian.”
The workers in the plaza center started putting down their tools—it was late. They wiped their sweat with towels and chatted loudly.
Since the plaza needs construction lately, it closes early. Not long after the workers left, security guards filed in to clear the place.
Gu Fan got up first and headed for the exit. I timidly followed, stepping on his shadow, my mind blank, not sure what else to say.
Most of what I wanted to say didn’t fit the childhood friend role, and all the thoughts in my head now were too out-of-line, making me feel like one of those NPCs online.
Ask me a tough question and I can only “aba aba” my way through it; something weird happens and I freeze, needing ages to reboot.
Gu Fan’s asked me several times about my wishes, and I still haven’t figured out how to answer—every time, something unexpected interrupts me.
As we walked toward the commercial street parking lot, I looked at Gu Fan’s tall back, picked up my pace to catch up, and, acting like it was unintentional, hugged his arm, nuzzling it with my fluff.
“Gu Fan, I’ve finally made up my mind about that question you asked before. Want to hear it? But first, you have to promise not to laugh at me.”