Chapter 43: The Catgirl Who Craves Affection

“C… can I?”

He actually agreed so casually.

I stared at Gu Fan in shock, but he just smiled lightly and then reached out his hand toward me.

At the moment my heart nearly jumped out of my throat, Gu Fan’s hand covered my head like a soft cloth.

He started at the swirl of my hair, moving his hand gently side to side, then his fingertips touched my fluffy cat ears, making them twitch one after another.

“Mmm~”

I couldn’t help but make a sound, a joy blossoming inside me like a seed sprouting into a tiny sapling overnight.

I crossed my arms in front of my mouth and tried my best to suppress my whole body from trembling, but the sensation wrapping around my cat ears was like electric currents sparking all over my body.

I was almost unable to hold back.

But it felt so good.

My tongue seemed activated as well, unconsciously licking up and down my arm, the roughness of my tongue sending goosebumps across my skin, and saliva kept flowing until the sleeve of the hoodie was dampened.

Sorry, Gu Fan, I’ll wash it properly later.

I wonder how my tail is doing right now?

The sensory stimulation reached a new height, and it was completely out of my control, but I guessed it was probably wagging vigorously?

Though that sounds more like a dog than a cat.

“Hm? Right now, Zhi Nian really seems like a little kitten craving affection.”

Gu Fan slowly stopped his hand.

It was the first time I heard him describe me this way, but as a catgirl, maybe it was normal to be called that?

I tilted my face up, giving Gu Fan—who was much taller than me—a flirtatious smile.

Actually, I was responding to him more calmly inside, but the lingering excitement all over my body made me wear such a sultry expression.

“Thank you… I’m very satisfied.”

“Want me to do it again?”

Gu Fan tilted his head, his fingertips playing with my bangs, occasionally brushing my forehead like soft fluffy cotton—ticklish.

“Okay… I want more.”

This time, I pressed my lips tightly together, firmly defending against the sensory stimulation.

Even though when Gu Fan’s fingers ran deep into my hair, carefully combing through every strand.

I immediately weakened, my knees softening, but my mouth only let out a few breaths, no strange sounds.

Compared to my whole body’s heightened sensory response, my heart was calm like a small lake deep in the mountains; every gentle stroke from Gu Fan made my mind more peaceful and serene.

I think… this is happiness for me?

Being touched like this by the boy I grew up with, and actually feeling happiness—could this be an illusion?

For a moment, a curiosity arose, and I explored that feeling many times in a short time, but couldn’t come to a definite conclusion.

I think I need time to verify it properly.

“How about it? Want me to touch you some more?”

“Mm-hmm, the tail… I want it touched too.”

I wasn’t satisfied with just having my head touched—I chose to boldly take it a step further, wanting every part of my body to be explored.

I admit this was my selfish desire, fantasizing that in the future, Gu Fan would naturally continue to caress me.

I turned my body sideways, back facing Gu Fan, so I wouldn’t have to waste energy controlling my facial expression.

The next moment, when the tip of my tail was grabbed, my legs immediately went weak.

I had to press both hands on the stone bench to avoid falling to the ground.

“Ugh!”

So strange, so strange—touching my head just now wasn’t this exaggerated.

I panted heavily, teeth clenched tightly to stop my soft, uncontrollable tongue from slipping out on its own.

This is too unfair, can you stop?

I regretted it.

My whole body trembled uncontrollably.

I regretted my ignorant behavior, letting Gu Fan casually touch such a sensitive spot.

My scattered consciousness began replaying fragmented memories.

Apparently, being touched by an outsider and feeling itchy is the body’s alarm signaling danger, meaning I’ve already fallen into Gu Fan’s palm, unable to escape.

Although Gu Fan quickly let go, my tail—still stiffened from being played with—faithfully transmitted sensations.

I lay on the stone bench for a long while before gradually calming down.

I tried hard to put on that cold, aloof expression I use with outsiders, but secretly glanced at myself in the mirror behind Gu Fan—and saw a slight blush still lingering on my cheeks.

Tsk…

I went too far playing around.

I need to restrain myself next time and not let Gu Fan bully me so much.

“It’s getting late, let’s go home.”

Gu Fan didn’t continue teasing me excessively.

He stood up and walked around the pavilion once, then, while looking at his phone, asked me:

“Uh… would you like to have lunch with me?”

“Sure.”

Seeing Gu Fan’s answer without any resistance, the unease that had been weighing on my heart finally lifted.

At least, for now, there were no major conflicts between us.

I just needed to keep creating things that would make Gu Fan happy.

Walking along the path between the fields, I glanced at the tall buildings slowly rising in the distance on the left, then silently turned my head to look at the clear blue sky on the right, with a horizon clean enough to only have white clouds.

I really look forward to what will happen with Gu Fan in the future.

* * * * *

【Today’s Diary of a Childhood Friend】

Successfully conveyed my feelings to Zhi Nian.

Seeing her expression change from confusion to understanding, she should have gotten it, right?

Though her way of repaying me was a bit… unusual.

But I don’t really mind.

Zhi Nian’s cat ears are different from normal cat ears.

I can’t say if it’s a structural difference, since I’m just an ordinary high schooler, not a biologist, so there’s no need to care about that.

What I do know is that Zhi Nian’s cat ears feel super nice to touch and are very docile.

Although they kept trembling, they never shook or flicked away like other cats’ ears would.

Also… seeing Zhi Nian, who’s usually seen as a cool, aloof catgirl by outsiders, become shy and tremble with a dazed gaze under my touch somehow made me feel excited.

This sounds a bit like being a pervert; I need to watch myself to see if there’s something wrong with me.

Actually, the main reason I invited Zhi Nian to the church wasn’t to get her to accept my decision, but to use her strength to convince myself to accept my own decision.

Uh, that sounds a bit convoluted when I write it down—I should simplify my wording next time.

Let me make a summary here so that future me doesn’t forget my original intention.

I believe that childhood sweethearts are just part of the past, while friends are relationships that continue into the future.

The most important thing is that I don’t need to define anyone’s identity; what I need is simply someone who can accompany me all the way to the end of life—nothing more.

I’m not sure how long Zhi Nian will stay by my side.

If she wants to leave, I will let her go anytime.

For now… let’s walk this path together for a while.

I can’t always let Zhi Nian be the one to take the initiative—I also want the future Zhi Nian to look back on this youth and think it was a beautiful memory.