Chapter 52: The Price is Rice

The dragon lady dumped so much random stuff that the info pop-ups from my Intelligence stat are overwhelming, making my eyes hurt.

<Silver Coin>, <Silver Coin>, <Gold Coin>, <Silver Coin>, <Gold Coin>, <Silver Coin>, gold-silver-gold-silver-silver-gold…

Do they really need to label each one as “Silver Coin”?

Just write “Silver Coin x100” or something.

They’re supposed to fit in my palm, but they’re spilling onto the floor, and the dragon lady apologizes.

“Sorry. I should’ve presented them more elegantly for you.”

“No, no, I’m not big on etiquette, so just give them casually.”

Etiquette? I actually care a lot.

It’s a measure of upbringing when it comes to kids.

But with someone showering me with gifts, I’ve got to show courtesy first.

Making a fuss about sloppy gift-wrapping?

That’s the real lack of manners.

The gold lump shaped like a cathedral is, as my mom would say, “worth the cost of raising you.”

It’s the biggest sum anyone’s ever given me in my life.

Gotta treat her like royalty for this.

Who cares about gift-wrapping?

“I was only going to entrust my child, but seeing the Sprout Fairy here, I’m giving you things to protect her too. And some magical items that might help.”

“I get why you can’t exile yourself, but it’s a shame. Kids always need their parents.”

“…I’ll take my leave now. Please take care of my child and the Sprout Fairy.”

“Before you go, want to stay for a meal?”

She’s got another kid back there and reasons she can’t come, which makes me feel for her.

I’m a bit reluctant, so I tried tempting her with food.

Seeing how much she’s giving, she’s likely an ally.

With her overwhelming level, she’d definitely be helpful.

If I can make her want to come here someday, that’d be great. We’re short on manpower.

Getting her interested in this world’s culture can’t hurt.

And sending a guest home without a meal? That’s not our jeong.

“No, thank you. I’ve already used a lot of magic. Staying in this giant form here is taxing.”

“Alright, then I’ve got something for you too.”

There’s one snack RiceCookerMan doesn’t complain about eating instead of rice.

I saw on a show that North Koreans go crazy for it—must be true.

They say it reminds them of where it was made, with all that jeong.

“…It’s awfully black. What is it?”

“It looks like that, but it’s a delicacy here. Try it.”

The dragon lady hesitates but sniffs the round chocolate snack I offer, urging her to “try it, try it.”

Her vertical pupils are a bit creepy, but her eyes soften, letting go of her guard.

“It’s quite tasty. I don’t care much for flavor, but hm.”

[The taste of longing might bridge the 70 years of division and separation. Maybe it can even connect our worlds!]

What’s with this rice cooker getting emotional and making a statement even the Ministry of Unification wouldn’t touch?

This guy’s hostile to everything but rice, yet he’s soft on this snack.

The dragon lady left.

“Moving her stuff in advance?”

From her situation, exile seems like the best move, but with another kid back there, she can’t.

It’s like she’s prepping to move by sending her belongings ahead, given how much gold and silver she’s dumped.

Especially the silver—it’s piled up.

Our world used silver as currency, so as a precious metal, it’s silver.

Though the pile’s only about a bowl of rice’s worth.

The gold house might fetch over a hundred million.

And it’s heavy too.

<Unmelting Ice Sword>

A greatsword with a blade of chilling ice.

Though the blade’s the size of a pencil lead, so calling it a greatsword is embarrassing.

“Whoa, it really doesn’t melt? Cold too.”

Sharp, pointy, and cold, but it’s just a skewer at best.

It does trigger Swordmaster.

It’s supposed to enhance ice-related magic…

I tried it, and it does rapid-freeze.

<Magic Book: Art of Teleportation>

Among the books, this is exactly what I need…

But giving me a storybook smaller than a fingernail, written in unreadable text, isn’t for fun.

The Art of Teleportation doesn’t give much detail even with high Intelligence.

“What… does this say?”

I desperately want to master teleportation.

Not some sneaky trenchcoat guy, but real jumper-level power.

That’s the kind of power I want.

“Ugh, separating these is tough. How do I read this?”

“Brain!”

The Sprout Fairy yells at the perfect moment.

Raise my Intelligence, huh?

But even with high Intelligence, can I read this?

It’s not just the language—the text is too tiny.

<Blue Mushroom>

Synthesis item.

<Rose Water>

Synthesis item.

Come on, what kind of synthesis items!?

No explanation, just “synthesis item.”

I need to raise my Intelligence, but I keep putting it off.

Even useless stats like Speed almost got me suffocated by King Slime’s void step.

They’re starting to look useful and tempting.

“Give it to me! I’ll tell you!”

“Huh, really?”

“Yeah. I remember! I know that lady from before!”

Oh.

After meeting the dragon lady, the Sprout Fairy seems to recall bits of her past life.

No matter how sharp her mind is, as an otherworld being, she communicates telepathically.

I didn’t expect her to speak Korean.

I was worried I’d need to learn an otherworld language.

“Really? What’s your name, Princess?”

“Don’t know!”

“Oh, uh, okay. Then who was she?”

“I’m a princess!”

Yeah, that’s a well-known story.

“Then what’s this?”

I showed her the Blue Mushroom, and the Sprout Fairy shouts.

“Extends time a lot. Makes you stronger when eaten!”

“Really?”

“But cauldron.”

“Uh, cauldron.”

She calls the rice cooker a cauldron.

“Still weak!”

So, according to her, using this item in synthesis extends the buff duration, but the rice cooker’s still too weak to maximize it.

[Will you take me for a walk!?]

RiceCookerMan has no eyes, but he sounds excited.

***

Since I got a synthesis item that extends buff duration, I’m planning to boost RiceCookerMan’s skill level by winning his favor.

Living long enough to play a dating sim with a rice cooker? Rice-sim?

Going out with RiceCookerMan isn’t bad.

Even if I wore a pot lid on my head, people wouldn’t care.

Carrying a rice cooker on my head?

That’d get attention.

But carrying it was more hassle than expected.

First, power.

Without electricity, RiceCookerMan loses consciousness.

I spent over a hundred thousand won on a 220V high-capacity camping battery.

Expensive walk.

If it was a dog, I’d just need a leash, poop bags, and a shovel.

“All sorts of stuff comes up.”

And storage for the rice cooker.

[I can’t see outside like this!]

“Where are your eyes to say that?”

I tried putting him in a box, but that won’t do.

Since it’s not just going out but showing him the world, securing his view is key.

No cart available.

[Roll it.]

[What’s this furry thing saying?]

“He says kick it to roll it.”

[This spiky black chestnut-looking thing is saying what!?]

[What’s that?]

“Your fur smells like saliva.”

[No way!]

CatMan gets riled up, but it’s just because he’s always licking his fur.

I’ve seen photos of people fleeing with iron pots on their backs during modern history studies.

Should I carry him like that?

“Hey, I’m taking him for a one-hour walk around the neighborhood. Guard the place.”

[Whatever, I’m not the one walking. Do what you want.]

Come to think of it, I should be walking a pet, not a rice cooker.

Some say it’s cruel to make cats walk like that, so I left him and went out.

One hand’s tied up, but holding the lid looks coolest.

[Wow, wow! South Korea’s so vibrant! If this is Daejeon, how amazing must Seoul be?]

South Korea…

This guy’s definitely a spy.

“Call it Korea or Republic of Korea.”

Since we’re out passing people, I can’t properly respond to RiceCookerMan’s antics.

I corrected him in a whisper.

[By the way!]

“What now?”

[Being held like this, I’m only seeing people’s crotches. Is this the view you wanted to show me?]

“…Your metaphors are awful.”

[The girls’ clothes are too short. I can see through them.]

“Hey, you lunatic.”

Holding him with one hand, his view’s apparently low.

He’s seeing people’s waists and saying all sorts.

So I held him with both hands, but then a woman with a bold top passed by.

No good—I hoisted him onto my shoulder.

[You’re really popular, huh?]

“Shut up and look around.”

With his view higher, people glance at us.

Must look like I’ve got two heads.

It’s school dismissal time, so there are lots of young people around.

Kids from my old job are here too.

Different grades, so they don’t recognize me.

I’d rather avoid running into kids, but…

[At least an hour of walking, please. That’ll make me stronger!]

“Fine.”

RiceCookerMan begs for an hour’s walk.

It’s been a while since I walked aimlessly, so it’s refreshing.

Carrying a rice cooker’s fine, but meeting someone I know is a bit awkward.

To avoid that, I turned into a quieter area where students don’t go.

Kids don’t come here.

Except the delinquents…

And then.

Exclamation marks pop up above the heads of some kids in uniforms smoking and blocking the path.

I wandered into a place where normal students don’t go and ran into some real characters.

I noticed them but ignored them and passed by.

“Hey, Kim-hyung.”

Plenty of Kims out there.

“Hey, temp teacher. Yo, Kim Ju-heon. You.”

That’s me.

I tried to keep going, but they called my name, so I turned around.

“Hey, who’s calling an adult by their name like that?”

“Oh, really? What’re you doing here, Ju-heon-ssi?”

“Walking my rice cooker.”

“Pfft, this crazy guy. Hahaha, he’s walking his rice cooker.”

Why’re they laughing when I’m actually doing it?

“What’re you doing after getting fired? Did you delete our video?”

“Nope. Why? Wanna see?”

They seemed curious, so I played it for them.

“So damn disobedient. Bitch, go get the gym clothes!”

“At your age, got a weak prostate? Take some saw palmetto.”

“Shut up. Delete it.”

These kids, I tossed them around playfully, and they didn’t realize they got hit?

I didn’t use any real attacks.

That’d be actual violence.

Since I played lightly, they thought it was a game?

I figured they’d lower their eyes and slip away, but they’ve got some guts? Or are they just dumb?

“Yeah.”

“Why didn’t you delete it?”

“Just in case. If you get lucky and become a pro gamer, cop, or celebrity, it’s a weakness. School bullying scandals, you know? Got anything to say? Raise your hand.”

“No, damn it, seriously. Yo, adult, come here. You’re so damn disobedient.”

“Fine.”

“Adult”? That’s a new one.

I glanced around—no CCTV in sight.

These kids smoke anywhere, but they’re smart enough to avoid society’s eyes?

I’ve been dodging CCTV and car dashcams around here lately.

Afraid of getting caught for public indecency from misusing Space Teleportation.

It’s nice they crawled into a spot without cameras.

This urban stream’s an ecological restoration project but a hotbed for reckless development.

There are underpasses everywhere, and they’re prime crime spots with no CCTV.

I once thought about burning a trash bag full of tiny corpses nearby.

“You’re pretty strong, huh, bitch?”

“What’s that way to talk to an adult?”

“Delete it while we’re talking nicely, adult.”

These middle school punks are threatening me with pickaxe handles?

They’ve got weapons this time.

I pulled out my phone and recorded the scene.

“He’s filming again. Yo, hand it over. Delete it, huh?”

They’re freaking out, demanding the phone.

They remember getting overpowered last time, so they’re all holding something.

I need evidence of students threatening me with weapons.

“You always talk so carelessly. Why live so thoughtlessly?”

“What, this fired loser’s lecturing us? Wanna die?”

Ugh.

They’ve got spirit.

“Kids, I know you’re thoughtless. But swing those in a world full of CCTV? I’m worried about your future.”

“What’s this idiot saying? If there was CCTV, would we be smoking here?”

“Yeah, figured. Just checking.”

Whack.

Kyoo-hyung, the school’s top bully, swings a wooden stick at an adult but gets smacked in the face by the rice cooker and falls back.

Blood sprays from his nose like he’s dying.

“Ow, damn it. Seriously. This guy’s insane.”

The kids are enthusiastically “welcoming” their old teacher with sticks.

And I just happened to have a rice cooker in hand.