One day, I noticed that pouring sugar and alcohol into the gate stopped monsters from emerging.
Why aren’t they coming? Like an offering table?
No idea why, but it was handy when going out, so I left a bottle of soju and a bag of sugar in the gate.
[Animal cruelty.]
“I’m trusting your strength.”
[Hmph.]
To be precise, it’s not stuffed in—CatMan’s holding it.
Praised him as a strong cat, so he’s quietly gripping the goods.
I visited Grandpa Chang-hwan again.
Found the money, told him it’s too much while being polite, and planned to discuss more rice drink supplies.
“Ughhh, ughhh. Ah, hm.”
Since I’ve been supplying rice drinks, Grandpa’s lucid for now.
But in front of caregivers and nurses, he still acts like he’s losing it.
“It’s me.”
“You came.”
He drank it.
I’m planning to make Powerade-colored rice drinks using blue mushrooms and ask if he’s ready for that.
“I found it. It was real.”
“It’s modest, but take it. I saved it fearing a North Korean nuke crisis would turn it to scraps. Now it feels meaningless.”
“For something like that, you kept a card reminiscing about a Europe trip with your daughters.”
“Did I? Don’t recall. Hm. The kids just called me blunt.”
I saw Kyeong-sook crying on the phone.
Typical old-man bravado, acting shy.
“But taking it all feels too much for what I did.”
The foreign currency’s over 140 million won at current rates.
His letter said he saved about 100 million in dollars and euros, but exchange gains pushed it to that.
I knew rice drinks were valuable, but this is excessive.
Plus, wasn’t it for his daughters?
“Sorry, but I’ll give you all the money you need for research. The money I raised giving my daughter to that black-haired beast, not taking rent, is more than you need. Can’t I do that much for you? I only passed that because I can’t access funds now.”
???
I need 800 million, sure.
I’d love to buy a one-room, so I’d take it.
But I’m stunned.
And I’m still politely refusing, asking if he’s really giving it all.
If I wasn’t taking it, I wouldn’t have bought black porgy sashimi for the cat.
I’d have made him fetch it at night.
“Healing the sick and hurt isn’t something you measure with money.”
“Sir, excessive humility isn’t good. Are you trapping your worth in a small bowl? I get being scared of billions—I was too when I bought land and buildings for my kids and they skyrocketed. But big things need some greed.”
He saw through my humility instantly.
“Alright. If that’s the case, you’ll need activity funds, so I’ll return some. You’re hiring a lawyer, right?”
Since his goal is to recover assets from his son-in-law, he’ll need funds, so I played humble.
It’s a lot, and like he said, Can I take this? But since he’s a nouveau riche, I won’t refuse if he insists.
“That’s why I asked. I can’t figure out how to use my account with this damn phone.”
“Yes, I’ll show you. There’s something called a public certificate.”
It’s a complex task.
I planned to help with this beyond rice drinks.
He’s giving me all the research money, right?
Gotta treat him well.
That son-in-law who misdiagnosed him to steal his wealth is a dog in my head too.
He cursed so fiercely, I almost said, Then your grandkids are puppies? but held back.
Grandkids are puppies, aren’t they?
“Sir.”
“What is it?”
“If there’s a long-lasting drug but with potential side effects, would you take it?”
Blue mushroom rice drinks would look like Powerade—suspicious in taste and color.
Grandpa answered without hesitation.
“Of course.”
The Nightmare Queen called her thousands-level guard succubus closer.
“Come here.”
“Yes, Your Majesty. W-What, Your Majesty?”
The queen suddenly kissed the guard succubus on the forehead.
The guard panics.
Not just a kiss—thousands of levels transfer, pushing her past 10,000.
Conversely, the queen’s level drops to the low 40,000s.
“If I don’t return, you’re the next queen.”
“Huh…”
A thousands-level elite now exceeds 10,000.
The queen gave up her levels.
Passing the gate is harder with higher levels, but it was a grace akin to giving her life.
“Why think of not returning?”
“Don’t worry. I’ll pioneer a new world for you all and come back.”
In truth, the Nightmare Queen knew returning was unlikely.
If she could return easily like imps or wraiths, she’d have scouted long ago.
She had no choice but to go.
Too many killed.
She killed too many rioting monsters at the gate.
Killing one or two is a death sentence, but it wasn’t just one or two.
If she hadn’t, the young succubi she cherished like children might’ve been harmed, but she couldn’t just watch.
Now, she must conquer the dungeon to earn forgiveness…
“Uwaaaah!?”
She steps on a BB pellet and falls on her butt.
“Yes, is this the law office? Uh, sorry, I’ll call back later.”
I was helping Grandpa with a bank app-compatible phone and internet banking, plus hiring a lawyer to face that son-in-law…
The gate flashes like it’s seizing.
I called the law office but hung up seeing this.
“What the hell is this?”
“Dangerous!”
It was quiet after eating sugar and alcohol for days.
This is a dragon-level monster, no doubt.
When high-level monsters emerge, the gate shakes like a rumbling stomach.
Summoning takes time too.
But for allies like the White Dragon mom, a magic circle forms with a cold aura.
This is…
The Nightmare Queen’s signature.
Thanks to wraiths near her, I can sense succubus energy.
Not sure if it’s the queen or her direct clan.
“Ugh.”
I have the Sage’s Memorial and Kim Chang-hwan’s Memorial.
No clue why it appeared, but Chang-hwan’s Memorial trait is unsurprising:
<Lose Your Mind>
A one-dimensional trait resisting mental attacks by losing sanity.
It can dodge imps’ temporary illusions or succubi’s charm.
You can avoid succubus temptation by immersion or losing your mind, and countering via Golem Control isn’t impossible.
With Chang-hwan’s funding and the gold I sold, I allocated strategic reserves and was setting new traps.
If the foe’s too strong or uses charm, I’ll handle it with traps.
“CatMan, hide and smack the monster.”
[Fine, I’ll do it.]
“Answer with that, punk.”
[Sigh, meow meow!]
Like stating rank and name.
“RiceCookerMan, if you can, do a jump attack.”
[Understood.]
First, I scattered BB gun pellets.
Then, I set a plugged-in iron near the pellets.
“Push it to hit this way, CatMan.”
[Got it.]
Finally, I deployed the robot vacuum I bought, not too far but a spot to retreat and separate—
The bathroom.
<Golem Control>
I can control a Hello Carbot robot.
Wanted a different robot, but that’s what’s sold these days.
Prepared and waiting, a monster drops from the gate.
<Nightmare Queen LV ?????>
She’s really here.
About a foot tall, like an expensive figurine.
Not what I expected—her slender frame’s about two hands wide.
“Uwaaaah!?”
But she makes a fool of herself right away.
Steps on the BB trap and falls on her butt.
Good, I might catch her now.
Next is the heated iron trap.
I planned a Home Alone-style trap chain, but my setup’s not that precise.
A Korean one-room isn’t a U.S. middle-class house.
“Ugh!?”
The Nightmare Queen blurs her body, dodging the iron.
Next strategy: CatMan’s charge.
She’s as tall as CatMan, but thinner, so he outweighs her.
“Mraooow!”
CatMan charges fiercely and rams her.
But as if she’s intangible, his lightning-speed tackle passes through.
“Meow!?”
As CatMan turns, confused, she mimics him.
“Meow.”
What the hell is she doing?
CatMan’s Lightning Dash stops.
[Hm? You speak cat?]
That idiot, is he…
“Meooow.”
[A cultured lady! This way, haha.]
A charm icon pops over CatMan’s head, and he stands, acting like he’s wearing a bowtie.
Ugh, should’ve neutered him.
Seeing this, RiceCookerMan rages.
[Cowardly furball! Damn traitor! Want to be crushed by artillery?]
[A human feed can falling for her? I’m first!]
Those idiots are at it again.
Then RiceCookerMan jumps.
Yes, charm doesn’t work on him!
He’s Super Mario now, crushing with jumps.
[Splash! Ah!?]
The Nightmare Queen, in a dizzying outfit, delivers a ballet-like kick above her head, sending RiceCookerMan flying.
[Urk?! …]
His “urk” stops as the cord unplugs, and he hits the ceiling.
Hey, dream achieved.
He bounces off the bed and crashes to the floor.
Meanwhile, my Golem Control’ed Turning Mecard and Hello Carbot…
Hit by her slender legs and thin kick, they shatter beyond imagination.
That jerk, destroying kids’ dreams and hopes…
Then the robot vacuum charges.
Hey, no! That’s expensive! No vacuum now, how do I clean…
Crack!
Her kick redirects the vacuum’s charge.
It’s not moving—must be broken.
Traps and allies taken out in seconds.
“Haaaah.”
The Nightmare Queen scans around, summons a flow of energy, and…
Grows massive.
From my Golem Control view through the shattered Carbot, I see only her boots.
I switch to controlling my laptop’s webcam to see her.
She touches the Korean text on a book on my desk.
Closing her eyes briefly, she speaks Korean.
“Where are you, dungeon giant?”
Wow, what a clear voice!
“Huh!?”
Even through Golem Control, her voice makes my heart skip, and I drop control.
No suitable objects to control anyway.
“Your bride has arrived. Won’t you answer my proposal?”
What’s with that voice? Why’s it so gentle and thrilling?
Damn, it’s charm. No way.
The Sage’s Memorial says immersion in my room can ignore this.
I’m in the bathroom, so if I pull my pants down urgently…
No way that’d work.
Right, bathroom cleaning. Focus on cleaning.
Sorry, Queen, my weapon this time is a toilet brush.
Take a poop stick!
“Oh, you’re in another part of the dungeon.”
How’d she know?
Anxiety makes my thoughts race.
Ways to fight while cleaning? Water splash?
Bleach spray?
Push her into the toilet with strength and wash her with germs?
As I ponder, the bathroom door opens, and my head turns instinctively.
<Opponent’s Charm exceeds 50,000, resistance impossible.>
<Trait: Sage of the Room neutralized.>
???
Her level’s in the 40,000s, but Charm’s over 50,000?
Did she max out a shadow stat?
The moment that question hits, she fills my vision.
Far from ignoring a foot-tall succubus—
She’s human-sized after growing.
Wow.
No sage time effect?
I can’t resist this.
Sage, what’s that supposed to mean!?
Soft, teary eyes, jade-like skin.
Not the swimsuit from crossing over, but a pure white dress like an AI-generated beauty right in front of me.
I could ignore her while cleaning the bathroom…
“Finally, we meet. I’ve been waiting for someone big and strong like you. Come here.”
“Uh, huh?”
“Shall we talk?”
“Uh, uhh, sure?”
I’m drawn in by her lead without realizing.
“Your name?”
“K-Kim Joo-heon.”
“I introduced myself already. Oh, I’m sixteen now. I have the qualities people love in a bride. Hee, hope you like me.”
Oh, sixteen!
…
Damn middle schooler!
Sixteen? Middle school. Rebellious middle schooler. Damn middle schooler.
The moment I hear sixteen, my mind snaps back.
Sixteen’s the average marriage age in that world’s human culture.
The Swordmaster married a girl a year younger at that age and had a daughter.
So they embellish it as the “radiant eighteen” or some poetic nonsense…
My Geumgang shoe theft wasn’t just Kyu-hyung’s crew.
“Teacher! Where’s your shoe?”
“Huh? Teacher’s mad? Really? He’s actually mad?”
The girls joined in too.
Even more infuriating and annoying.
Shoes come in pairs, so I got screwed twice by middle schoolers.
Normally, colleagues’ cheers to snap out would ring, but…
The antics of my lovely students flash back faintly.
Damn brats.
Charm or nonsense, hearing “sixteen” triggered PTSD, making it worse.
I really hate sixteen.
Grabbing the toilet brush from the cleaning box.
“Sixteen, my ass! Trying to chain me up!”
With over 900 Strength, I swing a punch at the Nightmare Queen.