Chapter 66: The Freak

Being fed by Gu Fan felt really nice—even foods I usually had no interest in suddenly tasted incredibly delicious.

But there was a downside: mealtime stretched on forever.

By the time it was past seven, I still wasn’t completely full.

“Gu Fan.”

With food still in my mouth, I looked over at him now sitting by my side and mumbled indistinctly.

I had overestimated my alcohol tolerance.

After finishing a can of beer, I was already a bit dizzy—not completely spun out, but organizing my thoughts logically was definitely difficult.

Being able to even think through things like I was now was rare.

Gu Fan took a bite of beef and with his other hand scooped up a spoonful of eggplant covered in garlic sauce, feeding it to me.

A mouthful of rich flavors burst wildly inside me.

I closed my eyes in satisfaction, my cat ears twitching.

“Delicious…”

Only now did I realize it wasn’t that I disliked eating—it was that I had no mood for it.

When my attention wasn’t on taste, everything was flavorless.

Looks like if I want a good meal in the future, I’ll have to get Gu Fan to feed me.

I raised a can of beer and slowly sipped.

The drowsiness I had been suppressing came creeping back, wrapping itself around my scattered consciousness.

Leaning gently on Gu Fan’s shoulder, I exhaled deeply, feeling like I could sully him with my drunken breath.

We had agreed to drink together to celebrate, but Gu Fan suddenly remembered he had ridden his motorcycle and couldn’t drink.

So I ended up drinking alone.

Gu Fan silently ate his skewers beside me, occasionally feeding me little bites when my brain, overloaded by late nights and alcohol, went blank.

“Gu Fan… porridge…”

Here, the “porridge” is just a symbol of the good relationship between childhood sweethearts, so don’t overthink it.

“……”

Damn it, why isn’t he responding?

Does he think I’m babbling because I’m drunk?

Hmm?

I tugged at Gu Fan’s collar, resting my chin against his collarbone, and looked at his face drowsily.

Heh heh… so handsome…

After staring for a while, his warm amber eyes finally lowered to meet mine. In that moment of eye contact, it felt as if the whole garden of spring had opened up just for me.

“Are you drunk, little Zhi Nian?”

“Mm… not drunk!”

I shook my head to deny it.

Because of the movement, my cat ears swayed softly as well.

I don’t know if my cheeks are red now, but the alcohol had definitely numbed my nerves—my body acted first, and then told my brain what was going on.

Also…

I vaguely sensed others’ gazes on us, which was a bit annoying.

How nice it would be if we could be alone somewhere private, like in a bedroom. Heh heh…

Anyway, we didn’t do anything inappropriate, so there’s no need to care about other people’s looks.

I kept munching on the food Gu Fan fed me, my gaze seemingly glued to his handsome face without moving an inch.

I needed such a feast-worthy, good-looking face to accompany this barbecue.

In my drunken state, I quietly pondered, as my tail reached forward and lightly flicked against Gu Fan’s chest.

I’m really curious… what kind of feelings does Gu Fan have, feeding me like he’s coaxing a child?

Could it be that as long as I’m willing to act spoiled, Gu Fan will do anything for me?

If that’s the case, wouldn’t Gu Fan be way too easy to control?

No, no, that won’t do.

If Gu Fan’s mental defenses are that weak, then the moment a girl prettier than me acts spoiled, he’d be snatched away instantly.

I absolutely cannot tolerate such a betrayal of love!

So Gu Fan, you have to be more cautious.

If any woman other than me acts spoiled toward you, she must have an ulterior motive.

To protect yourself, please promise me you won’t pay any attention to them.

My lips murmured softly as I looked up at Gu Fan, bathed in the warm white light from the chandelier, quietly whispering these thoughts — though I wasn’t even sure if I had truly spoken my heart out.

Gu Fan lowered his head and, seeing my lips opening and closing, probably thought I still wanted to eat.

So he stuffed another bite of eggplant meat into my mouth.

“Ugh—”

I’m a bit full now…

What comes after being full and warm?

Sleep, right?

Thinking this, I rested my head on Gu Fan’s chest, planning to rest a bit before continuing to eat, but then my consciousness wavered and swayed drowsily until I lost balance and fell off a cliff.

* * * * *

When I slowly woke up, I found myself sitting on a motorcycle, draped in Gu Fan’s jacket, my arms wrapped around his sturdy waist.

Maybe I accidentally bumped Gu Fan’s back when I woke up, because he slightly turned his head to glance behind.

“Awake? Feeling nauseous?”

“…Not really.”

“I bought some hangover tea. Want to sit a bit out in the suburbs before heading home?”

“Yeah.”

Gu Fan’s voice was as light as whispers in the wind.

The motorcycle rode steadily and slowly.

Pressed tightly against Gu Fan’s warm body, I nearly slipped comfortably back into sleep.

Focusing on the passing street scenes on both sides, I barely managed to keep my mind alert.

Luckily, I didn’t drink much.

If I suddenly threw up on the bike, I’d probably be so embarrassed I couldn’t recover.

Though my throat felt a bit burning, the urge to vomit was completely absent.

Last time I drank more than two cans; this time, just over one.

I shouldn’t get so drunk as to say things I shouldn’t.

Actually, when Gu Fan said he was driving and couldn’t drink, I didn’t plan on drinking either.

But then I remembered that last time I drank and took a nap, I ended up crossing over into this world.

So I couldn’t help but wonder if this time drinking might trigger something special to help my confused heart find a sense of meaning.

Besides… right now, I desperately needed alcohol to numb myself, to stop overthinking.

To put it plainly, I wanted to escape reality again — just by getting myself drunk.

I don’t know how drunk people usually are.

For me, even when drunk, I’m still me, just a bit mentally hazy, with unfiltered thoughts flashing through my mind and spilling out unprocessed.

If I had to say, today I might be even sleepier than last time.

After all, I’ve been cycling between waking and sleeping all night, thinking nonstop, making my eyelids heavy and hard to keep open now.

The cold wind pierced past my ears.

With no hair to cover them, my cat ears began to shiver slightly from the chill.

I wrapped my tail in my arms and leaned my forehead against Gu Fan’s back, falling into silent thought.

If Gu Fan isn’t sick… then what exactly am I here for?

The effects of the alcohol were gradually wearing off, and with it came a brief moment of clarity in my otherwise muddled mind.

I was forced to confront a painful truth.

Would a flawless boy like Gu Fan really lack affection from girls?

I doubt it…

If he wanted, I’m sure there would be girls far more beautiful, far gentler than me willing to stay by his side.

Even in terms of personality, I might not be able to match them.

In fact, that might be where I fall shortest.

My mind’s constantly filled with dirty thoughts, my possessiveness is almost repulsive, and I can’t accept

Gu Fan forming any kind of close bond with other girls besides me.

I’m just a freak, teetering on the fringes of society, hiding deep in the shadows—greedily watching that warm sun at the center of the crowd with my filthy, selfish eyes.

Maybe… maybe it’s time I left Gu Fan behind.