After reconnecting with Zhinian, every hospital visit was accompanied by alcohol and surprises—both, of course, brought by her.
Today’s Zhinian was special, more aggressive and excited than usual, as if she wanted to say everything she normally wouldn’t dare to voice.
Even her daydreaming was different. In the past, when I pulled Zhinian back from her trance, she’d shyly lower her head, avoiding my gaze.
But today, she boldly stared at me multiple times, making strange requests and asking odd questions.
When Zhinian said, “I miss you,” in front of everyone, I didn’t feel the expected embarrassment or nervousness.
Instead, I instinctively wrapped my arms around her, gently stroking her slender back.
I, who usually control situations with ease, found myself at a loss in front of Zhinian.
Seeing her cat ears curl up pitifully, my heart softened instantly. Instead of pushing her away, I took her to eat ramen.
I had originally planned to ask Zhinian out for dinner after the hospital visit, but at noon, she intercepted me at the classroom door.
If I hadn’t been certain I never told her about my past “terminal illness,” I’d have thought she was there to cheer me up.
While eating ramen, I noticed Zhinian seemed to have stayed up late. Faint dark circles shadowed her eyes, and her every word and action carried a sense of sluggishness.
Her glances at me held more thoughts and ambiguity than usual, a hazy kind of charm that was quite cute.
But her listless appearance was a bit heartbreaking. Her tail, usually lively, barely moved, just wrapped around her waist. Her cat ears were curled into a ball, and occasionally, I’d see Zhinian…
Zhinian let out a yawn with a soft “awoo.”
On the way to the parking lot, I was still firm in my resolve to keep my hospital follow-up visit a secret from Zhinian.
But when I got on my motorcycle and reached back to hang my backpack on the front hook, my hand grasped nothing but air.
Tch, habits are truly terrifying. I had eaten lunch and reached the parking lot without even realizing I wasn’t carrying a backpack, yet my body automatically assumed I’d have one after school.
What surprised me most was Zhinian’s intuition. Normally, she’d passively wait for me in place, but this time, it was as if she sensed something. She grabbed my arm and asked what I was going to do that afternoon.
If it were just a simple illness, I would’ve told Zhinian everything. But my situation was special, and I hadn’t told anyone except my family.
It’s better to keep such things from people who aren’t close. Their so-called pitying looks can be overwhelming.
Besides, my body has already recovered, so it’s best to quietly bury it and let it fade into memory.
With that thought, I chose to keep it a secret.
Zhinian’s expression changed instantly, as if she couldn’t accept that I’d hide something from her so directly.
Her teary, helpless look made my heart skip a beat. I’m sorry… Just get through today, and I can return to a peaceful daily life.
After a brief standoff, my heart softened. Taking Zhinian back to the classroom to grab a backpack shouldn’t be a big deal.
But then… I heard Zhinian say, “I’ll go get your backpack for you.” Before I could stop her, she dashed toward the school building, leaving me no chance to hold her back.
Faced with such a determined Zhinian, what else could I say? I was certain that if I dared to call out to her from a distance and reject her “kindness,” the next second I’d be met with her hollow stare, a dark mist of despair slowly rising in her eyes.
It only takes a moment for a relationship to crack, which is why maintaining one is so troublesome… My laid-back approach to life is being challenged.
I watched Zhinian’s figure disappear into the distance and plopped down onto my motorcycle.
When we were kids, Zhinian might have been more obedient. Even if I did something that upset her, she’d just whimper “woo-mi” with teary eyes, tugging at my sleeve and begging me not to do it again.
Now, though… I feel like if I acted as recklessly as I did back then, she’d probably retaliate in a much more forceful and direct way.
Not that I want Zhinian to stay soft and weak forever. I’ve met plenty of girls like that—without their own opinions, they’re exhausting to be around. At least, I’m not too used to it.
Zhinian’s different. Or rather, it’s because she’s so opinionated that she’s in such pain. Normally, she doesn’t need to care about others’ feelings and can take care of herself just fine.
But now that we’re friends again, she’s forced to let this bond tie her down, constantly thinking about how to interact with me.
I can tell that many times, Zhinian wants to say something or do something to me, but for various reasons, she swallows those urges and chooses to follow my lead.
I always feel… if Zhinian keeps bottling up her thoughts and pretending to be a docile sheep, letting me tease her, one day she’s going to explode.
After all, she’s not inherently weak or timid—she’s someone with the courage to keep pulling me forward.
I zoned out for a bit and played on my phone. After about twenty minutes, Zhinian came back, but her face looked unusually pale.
I didn’t think much of it at the time, but when I took the backpack from her and looked inside, I realized she might have seen my medical records.
After that, Zhinian persistently pestered me to take her along to my hospital follow-up. Though I wanted to let the matter of my serious illness fade away quietly, since she already knew, there was no need to hide it too stubbornly.
I was already healed, so there was no point worrying about it.
When we left the hospital, Zhinian’s mood was noticeably brighter, her steps practically bouncing.
It was still early for dinner, so we asked for leave from the teacher, bought a couple of drinks and some snacks, and went to a church to sit, chat, and space out. We decided to have barbecue for dinner.
Feeding Zhinian later was just a spur-of-the-moment thing—it felt a bit like feeding a cat. If I could’ve rubbed those fluffy ears, it would’ve been even better.
Drunk Zhinian was adorably dazed. Her ruby-red eyes were misty, gazing at me with a wet, unfocused look, her gaze spreading evenly across my face, giving it a fleeting, ethereal quality.
Resisting the urge to pat her head, I kept feeding her, but she didn’t seem interested in eating. She was more focused on drinking, looking weighed down by thoughts, not even in the mood to talk to me.
Zhinian mumbled my name, and after some aimless back-and-forth, she succumbed to sleepiness and drunkenness, curling up in my arms, her soft breaths brushing against my collarbone.
I had planned to take her home, but since I wasn’t sure where her keys were and it wouldn’t be right for me, a guy, to search her, I decided to head to a new park we’d found that afternoon. I’d get her some sobering tea to drink.