Zhinian probably wasn’t awake, or perhaps she thought she was still in a dream. It’s also possible she was still immersed in the dreamy haze brought on by being drunk.
I thought Zhinian would quickly let go, but instead, she softly nibbled and even licked a few times with her slightly rough, barbed tongue, sending a tingling sensation that gave me goosebumps all over.
It took a while to soothe her, and only after slipping a pillow into her arms did she mumble a few times, smack her lips, and roll over to the other side.
The one who got forcibly kissed had to comfort the other party—where’s the logic in that? It’s just too absurd.
With a wry smile in my heart, I climbed off the bed, grabbed my backpack, and quietly left Zhinian’s house.
On the way back, I couldn’t help but touch the spot where she kissed me. It was still a bit damp, and the sensation of her soft, barbed tongue lingered on my skin, making it itch when I touched it again.
My first time being kissed—though not mouth-to-mouth—should’ve felt special, right?
But when it actually happened, aside from that fleeting moment of excitement, what followed was an unexpected calm, as if it were a perfectly ordinary thing.
Maybe because it was Zhinian, I didn’t feel too resistant? But that thought didn’t seem quite right either—kissing isn’t something to take lightly.
Was Zhinian acting this way because she thought she was in a dream, seeking something to rely on?
Thinking of it like that made her overly bold behavior more understandable, and I didn’t need to dwell on it too much. After all, it’s just a kiss—it’s not like I lost a piece of myself.
With that realization, I let out a long breath, my mood no longer as heavy as when I left Zhinian’s house.
I should head home and sleep. Though, after such an exciting experience, falling asleep peacefully might not be so easy.
***
‘Ugh, hehe… dreams are so great…’
In reality, I wouldn’t even dare to think about doing such things, but in dreams, I can act boldly without worry.
There are downsides, though. Most of the time, I can only immerse myself in the dream without controlling its direction. Even so, I’m quite satisfied.
In the dream, I openly kissed Gu Fan’s cheek. Timid as I am, I didn’t dare go as far as touching his lips. The reasons are complicated—if I listed them all, it’d probably take half an hour to finish.
Whether it’s shame or moral constraints, even in a dream, it reflects parts of reality. So, in the end, I avoided Gu Fan’s thin lips and kissed his cheek instead.
Interestingly, this dream felt extraordinarily vivid.
Whether it was lying in bed with Gu Fan in the dark night or the real sensation of my lips against his skin.
If I hadn’t confirmed after waking up that Gu Fan wasn’t sleeping beside me, I might’ve mistaken the dream for reality.
Ugh, stop thinking about it.
Slowly letting my consciousness surface and take control of my body in reality, I straightened up, easing my numb arms from leaning on the sink for too long.
I didn’t even notice I’d been standing in front of the mirror, lost in thought for so long. I’m too lazy to even scold myself for being so scatterbrained.
The faint dark circles that were noticeable yesterday have vanished completely today. They seem pretty casual—gone with just a good night’s sleep.
My complexion, though, is a bit dull, probably from drinking and staying up late before catching up on sleep. Washing my face later should perk me up a bit.
…Even though these flaws don’t make me look hideous, other girls who meet Gu Fan would definitely doll themselves up to look stunning. Showing up with this haggard face feels a bit rude.
If only I were good at makeup, I could at least cover up the imperfections and look a little prettier.
After washing up and taking a shower, I sat at the vanity, idly blow-drying my long hair. My wet cat ears twitched, shaking off the water, then curled up under the hot blast of the hairdryer to dull my overly sensitive hearing.
Girls’ hair is such a hassle to dry. You have to rub it while drying, use a tissue to soak up the water at the tips, and so on—it’s all so tedious.
I’m not someone who hates effort, but no matter how much I try to make my hair look amazing, no one ever compliments it. I’m not interested in admiring myself either, so I just stopped caring about my hairstyle. Call it giving up.
After drying my hair, I set the hairdryer on the table and grabbed a hair tie to put my hair into a ponytail.
…Hmm, today’s Saturday—Gu Fan’s birthday. No school, but I have work.
I’ll need to keep asking for time off. I should apologize to the store manager first and make up for it by working extra shifts later.
As for my hairstyle… I’ll probably end up going to see Gu Fan today anyway, so I should try to style it nicely.
Speaking of which, what excuse should I use to go see Gu Fan today?
As I slipped on opaque white stockings, I bit my lip in frustration.
When I confronted Gu Fan on the park bench about not inviting me, he sidestepped the core issue, avoiding an immediate invitation and instead explaining the logic and reasons behind his actions.
Back then, I was both sleepy and drunk, with most of my mental energy consumed by the overwhelming emotions surging within me, so I didn’t notice these details.
Now, well-rested and fresh from a shower, I’m slowly piecing things together. I realize Gu Fan might still not want me at the party. Hmm… it’s also possible he genuinely forgot.
If it was just forgetfulness, sending a text at the right moment should prompt an invitation. But if he deliberately didn’t want me there… that thought sends a chill through my heart. I’d probably distance myself from him for a while to avoid reliving this painful experience.
After putting on a skirt and buttoning up a long blouse, I stood in front of the mirror, inspecting myself.
The black-haired cat-girl staring back had a slightly furrowed brow, her tail neatly hidden under her clothes, and her cat ears slightly curled due to the cold weather.
In my own eyes, I don’t look particularly stunning—at least, not compared to Shiratori. She has so many qualities I envy.
Gentle, intellectual, outgoing, organized, goal-driven—her confidence is almost aggressive. It feels like she already sees Gu Fan as hers, which is what irritates me the most.
Ugh… anyway, I should focus on figuring out how to face Gu Fan next. I can’t spend all afternoon getting ready only to lack the courage to even send him a text.
I overheard some classmates talking about Gu Fan’s birthday party a few days ago, and if I’m not mistaken, it’s supposed to be this afternoon.
So, on this bright and sunny morning, I need to gather all my courage.
…to muster up my courage.