Ah.
I spoke out loud.
“Why me?”
Ah, whatever! I shot back at Hawkins with a sullen glare.
Honestly, isn’t it true? Why would I go along with a boy I’ve just met? Right?
“…….”
Hawkins couldn’t answer. He wasn’t very good with words.
“Enough. Just follow me.”
“Thank…”
Ignoring Hawkins as he tried to stammer his thanks, I walked on.
Fine! I’ll just ignore him like this.
It’s childish revenge! The kind Liana is dead! Hmph.
“Are you sure you’re alright?”
“I’m fine, yes, I’m an Academy student.”
“…….”
Don’t look at me like that, Natura.
I have my ways, you know!
Natura didn’t seem especially suspicious of Hawkins either, but it did look like she found my willingness to travel with him a little odd.
No need to explain myself.
I just grinned foolishly as I led the group to the registration desk. While writing down the names of those taking the portal, I deliberately put Hawkins’ name as ‘Has.’ Hawkins frowned at that, but didn’t say a word.
Thanks to the duke’s privilege, we were registered right away and headed straight to the Central Portal without waiting.
In front of the portal stood Lily, a petite mage wearing a hat. She thoroughly inspected the portal’s magic circle, then greeted us with a bright smile.
Lily counted our group, nodded, then tilted her head when she saw Hawkins’s face.
“He’s an attendant.”
“…….”
“Aha!”
Lily smacked her palm with her fist and nodded in understanding.
“I thought he was a knight! But he’s so skinny! For a moment, I thought he might not be with you. You know, sneaking onto the portal is forbidden!”
At Lily’s words, I beamed and nodded. Yes, that’s right! That’s a big deal!
I could feel Hawkins glaring at me—my cheeks tingled.
Well, just be grateful you’re even allowed on.
“Alright, I’ll activate it now. Have a pleasant journey!”
‘Have a pleasant journey’ was the customary phrase whenever the portal was used. Today, it sounded different, maybe because I was starting over after going such a long way around. I bit my lip. I could feel Hawkins’ gaze on my profile, but I pretended not to notice.
Once she confirmed everyone had stepped onto the portal, Lily waved her magic staff. Instantly, a great light enveloped our bodies. It felt warm and just a little nauseating.
“Young Lady, we’ve arrived.”
“Ugh.”
I slowly opened my eyes to see a tall building. It was the portal near the Academy’s main gate. The guards checked our numbers and welcomed us.
“I think I’m going to be sick…”
“Would you like me to support you?”
“No, I’m fine…”
Natura. If you respond to even my muttering like that, I’ll be afraid to talk at all.
As I pressed my queasy chest for a moment and tried to move, Hawkins called out to me.
“Are you leaving just like this?”
“…Natura.”
Funny. Should we go have some tea, then?!
I ignored Hawkins completely.
“Natura, you know you can only accompany me to the dorm, right?”
“Yes.”
“You know the way?”
“Ollie gave me a map.”
I memorized it all, Natura added. Such a thorough knight and an even more thorough maid.
Since it’d be odd for a first-timer like me to know the way too well, I decided to just pretend not to know and follow Natura.
The boys’ and girls’ dorms weren’t far apart. Between them, a terrifying illusion spell kept students from wandering too close, no matter how near they were.
As I walked through the familiar area with densely packed trees, pretending to look around, I sensed Hawkins following me. Oh, right, I should head to the dorm. Don’t overdo it. I turned off my attention to Hawkins trailing behind.
After passing the wide lawn and field and climbing a gentle slope, the dorm came into view. And just then, a familiar pale face I really didn’t want to see right now seemed to appear.
“Liana―!”
A voice rang out, clear as summer sunlight. A girl, shouting my name at the top of her lungs, came running toward me.
“……Cecilia.”
It was Cecilia. She dashed toward me, long hair flying behind her.
She barreled down the hill and almost tripped, but Hawkins, quietly walking behind, caught her. Or maybe they just collided—either way, that’s what happened.
She’d just missed crashing into me, passing by, and Hawkins happened to be right there. Since you can’t just let a girl tumbling at you fall, it made sense that Hawkins caught her.
“Are you okay?”
I already felt tired.
Cecilia, face flushed with embarrassment, looked up at Hawkins, and Hawkins, startled, stared back at her. The two were very close—close enough to feel each other’s breath.
Hawkins’ hands, which had caught Cecilia as she ran down the hill, were awkwardly gripping her waist and ribs, trembling slightly. But it seemed he couldn’t even think of letting go.
Hawkins’ eyes, fixed on Cecilia, were glazed over.
Ah, I witnessed it again.
That look of falling for Cecilia.
His unfocused, dazed face gazed at her beautiful features, as if under a spell. For a moment, time seemed to stop and even breathing was done with care.
The face that had been so annoyed with me, that had awkwardly apologized, was gone. Now, his gaze, caught in Cecilia’s eyes, was like a devotee seeking the truth.
A sharp ache throbbed in my head.
Ah, so this is how Hawkins has always looked at Cecilia. The image I had of Hawkins, gentle and warm, was perhaps something he’d worked hard to put on.
Maybe I’m overthinking, but seeing it this way made me feel a little sorry for Hawkins. Maybe, like me, he’s been longing for love all along.
Yes, maybe Hawkins is someone who loves once in a lifetime. Back in the Academy classroom before my regression, when he’d followed Evan to see her, maybe he already fell for her then. Even though I’ve come back in time, nothing between those two will change.
Probably.
The two of them will keep meeting like this, and Hawkins will keep falling in love as if it’s fate.
Whatever happens, since people stay the same, the outcome will be similar. So if Cecilia and I were to face the same carriage accident again, they’d still only save Cecilia—their beloved—regardless of anything I did differently.
It was clear. Seeing them as if time had stopped, with even the wind gently stirring their hair, I thought so.
I won’t be able to change beside Cecilia. At least, not when I’m with those who love her.
“Liana, Young Lady.”
“Natura?”
Could it be Natura hasn’t fallen for Cecilia’s magic? I was sure Natura would be drawn to Cecilia too.
Why? Because that’s how it always goes. Everyone around me always ends up loving her.
Slowly, I looked up. Honestly, I didn’t want to meet Natura’s eyes. I’d seen so many people, while calling my name, glance right past me to the Cecilia beside me. My palms were sweaty. But I couldn’t avoid it forever.
I looked up to meet the eyes that called me. Those eyes, deep as the sea, were focused solely on me.
I understood. Natura was concentrating only on me right now.
Only me.
The relief that gave me was indescribable. My throat tightened. I held my breath for a moment, then let it out.
Whatever bonds Hawkins and Cecilia form, it has nothing to do with me. The pitiable, childish Liana who chased after Cecilia, longed to be at her side, and yearned for her affection—she’s gone now.
Goodbye. I decided to leave behind the picturesque, fated meeting of those two. It felt like being freed from a chain.
“Let’s go, Natura.”
“Yes.”
“Thank you.”
“For what…?”
“Just. Please, don’t ask.”
“Yes.”
Rustle. Leaves crunched underfoot.
Ah, what a fateful encounter that was.
‘So… does this mean the Crown Prince won’t come looking for me in class anymore?’
That incident when the Crown Prince himself came looking for my dearest friend. Alongside him were the quiet but somehow intimidating Benjamin and the gentle-looking Hawkins, both handsome young men. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t thrilled to see them coming my way.
Now I realize Hawkins only ever showed that gentle face for Cecilia. Sighing at the familiar warmth in Hawkins’ expression, I let out a breath.
“Liana?”
I longed for the light that shone on Cecilia to shine on me, too.
Sometimes, as Cecilia’s friend, as someone by her side, I thought my position was better than others’. I got to speak with and go out with the ever more famous and capable ones who were usually hard to even talk to.
Whenever Cecilia was looking for me, sometimes they would look for me instead, sometimes help me out of a bind in her place.
Though, of course, the last thing they’d say would be, ‘So Cecilia was looking for you in a hurry,’ or, ‘Where is Cecilia, anyway?’
But whatever. Now, it doesn’t matter.
Seeing the thickly planted trees lining both sides of the uphill path soothed me. The rustling leaves, the sunlight filtering through, and the breeze all seemed peaceful.
I’m not going to care—this time, I’ll focus on my studies!
Back in my third year at the Academy, my biggest regret was choosing my major just to follow Cecilia. With no interest, no talent, nothing—just clinging to the title of ‘best friend.’ This time, it would be different.
I’d live my own life.
With that thought, the emptiness and sadness seemed to drift away a little.
“Liana!”
“Goodness!”
My arm was yanked and I staggered; Natura supported me, brushing off Cecilia’s hand.