My nose dutifully delivered every scent it picked up straight to my brain.
Wrapped in this jacket, Gu Fan’s unique scent surrounded my body, giving me a sense of security I couldn’t even begin to put into words.
It felt just like being under my blanket at home…No—even warmer, even more comforting than that.
Only second to being held directly in Gu Fan’s arms.
I hooked my fingers around the edge of the jacket and tugged it toward my shins.
My body and height were still unbalanced— even if my chest looked full and I gave off a cool, mature “big-sister” aura, it didn’t change the fact that I was barely over 160 cm tall.
My figure still hadn’t fully matured, so naturally, Gu Fan’s jacket easily swallowed me up.
Mmm…
I wonder how much longer until Gu Fan comes back?
Waiting quietly for his return, I took off my little leather boots and stepped onto the bench surface with my feet wrapped in white stockings, adjusting my position into a squat on the bench.
I didn’t want the dirty soles of my shoes to soil public property— that’d be really unhygienic.
Come to think of it, it feels like I’ve always been waiting— hoping Gu Fan would return my feelings with something positive.
But rarely have I taken decisive, bold action to do anything to him.
Since coming to this world, I’ve been way more proactive than before, but… it’s still nowhere near enough.
All I’ve really done is seize fleeting opportunities— not yet launched a full-on, literal offensive.
The boldest move I’ve imagined was simply pouncing on Gu Fan and doing some shy, flustered things with him.
When it comes to daily life, social matters, even deciding what to eat or buy— I usually just throw out a suggestion and let Gu Fan guide me from there.
If it were just the usual me, I’d probably drift aimlessly in a direction I’m not even sure of myself…
To put it bluntly, my IQ and EQ probably don’t even meet the average standard.
I often feel like I’m silly and always a beat too slow.
And when it comes to thoughts about Gu Fan, none of them are exactly proper.
My fantasies are dreamy—at least, they’re the kind I’ve always longed for.
I stuffed all the beautiful stories I’ve collected since childhood into them, and cast Gu Fan and myself as the male and female leads.
But… all these fairytale-like scenarios inevitably end in some lewd development.
With my lack of worldly experience, the only thing I’ve been able to expand upon are the scenes and positions— as for any other forms of interaction, I genuinely can’t imagine them.
It probably has nothing to do with my level of imagination.
It’s just that I’ve had so few chances to interact with people.
Always holed up in some corner, replaying trivial little things over and over in my head— the only thing I can fill in with any clarity is my body’s instinctive desires.
I’m not into food, and the time I spend sleeping nearly equals the time I spend awake.
So, the only “domain” left with growth potential… is lewd stuff.
Besides…
I really am looking forward to that kind of supposedly irresistible experience.
What would it feel like?
My toes curled inward, their pinkish hue faintly visible through the sheer white stockings.
I rested my left foot on top of my right, lowered my eyes, and used my waist to gently rock back and forth— as if I were sitting in a cradle.
That woozy sensation traveled up into my brain, and the surrounding footsteps and chatter only added to my dizziness.
Dazed and hazy, I threw myself into the sensation— as if that would somehow ease the anxiety of waiting for Gu Fan.
Hmph…
Gu Fan still hasn’t given me his second Christmas present.
He said he’d let me order him around once—for free.
But there’s no way I could honestly say what I really wanted—
“Take me to a hotel!”
I’ve never been in a relationship, sure, but I still think no matter what…
I can’t let down the feelings Gu Fan has for me.
Trust.
If I think about it from another perspective, a promise made in a situation like this sounds like,
“I’ll do whatever you ask of me.”
But in reality, Gu Fan would definitely assume that I wouldn’t ask for anything over-the-top.
If I were to take that promise at face value and act all spoiled and willful, demanding that Gu Fan get intimate with me, things would definitely spiral out of control.
If Gu Fan already had such thoughts, then great— maybe everything could fall into place at once and lay a solid foundation for our relationship.
As long as my body stays youthful, I could hold on to Gu Fan for the rest of his life.
But… if Gu Fan didn’t have those kinds of thoughts, then we’d probably fall into an unbearably awkward situation.
And I truly believe that would be even harder to fix than when we stopped being friends in elementary school.
We might never recover from it for the rest of our lives.
I do want to deepen this slightly warped “friendship” with Gu Fan, but if the cost is even the possibility of never speaking again… then I’d better hold back a little.
Take it slow.
Gu Fan isn’t sick anymore, and we still have a long future ahead of us.
One day, my wish will definitely come true.
Hehe…
The corners of my lips lifted slightly.
I raised my head and rested my chin on my knees.
Turning my feet to lean back against the bench, I began watching the passersby, quietly scanning the crowd for any sign of Gu Fan.
Even as I searched, my brain kept spinning out all kinds of possible scenarios that could happen between us.
For some reason, whenever I get too deep into these fantasies, I always feel an overwhelming urge to pee.
Sometimes I even end up leaking a little—it’s seriously baffling.
Do all catgirls have such weird bodily quirks?
It’s honestly kind of troublesome.
Sometimes when I wash my underwear, I have to scrub it multiple times to get it completely clean.
Just as I was lost in troubling thoughts, Gu Fan’s figure appeared in my line of sight, cutting off my aimless daydreaming.
“Gu Fan!”
I waved and tried to get up from the bench, but then realized we were in a public place.
I couldn’t act so impulsively—especially with the wind blowing like this.
If my skirt got lifted, that’d be a disaster.
So I held myself back, sat back down obediently, stuffed my feet back into my boots, and then ran toward Gu Fan.
“Easy there, easy. Your laces aren’t even fastened properly— you’ll trip if you’re not careful.”
Gu Fan was holding two grease-stained paper bags in his hands, making it hard for him to move freely.
Maybe the way I rushed over looked a little too dangerous, because Gu Fan quickly clutched the bags together in one arm and used his now-free hand to reach out and pull me in by the shoulder.
“…Where did you go, Gu Fan?”
I really wanted to tell him just how much I missed him, but since our relationship wasn’t clearly defined yet, I held back and changed the subject—asking instead what he’d gone off to buy, leaving me behind.
Gu Fan chuckled softly.
He didn’t answer right away, but instead pulled me to sit back down on the same bench.
Then he opened up the paper bags.
Inside were donuts.
The exact same types we had when we ditched class together for the first time after reconnecting.
Mine was chocolate with cream, his was matcha with nuts.
“Here, eat up. There were only two packs of noodles for dinner— normally that’s not even enough for me.
You’re so skinny, Zhi Nian, you need to eat more.”
“…Am I really that skinny?”
It was the first time anyone had ever commented on me being thin— and it was Gu Fan, no less.
I couldn’t help but take it seriously.
Gu Fan gave my body a focused once-over.
I could feel his gaze sweeping—
Gu Fan stared at my chest for a moment, then his gaze slowly shifted downward to my waist.
“Hmph… well, I wouldn’t say you’re too skinny. Zhi Nian’s nutrition clearly went exactly where it was supposed to.”
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