Chapter 73: Who Pooped on My Head? (2)

A thunderous voice reverberated throughout the corridor.

[Who the hell did it—!]

The owner of the voice was a gigantic mole.

Eyes blazing with fury. 

Black fur standing on end like spikes.

The reason this massive mole was so enraged was simple.

[Who pooped on my head!]

Because of the golden excrement sitting proudly on its crown.

Soon.

KWADDDDDDDD~!

The giant mole burst up from the ground.

A body as tall as a stacked cargo truck.

Its muscular frame was covered in fur as hard as steel rebar, and its front and rear claws were sharpened to diamond-cutting edges.

Ding-dong!

<Steel-Spiked Mole>

– Danger Rank: A+

– Discovery Location: Maslow’s Tower

Manager of the Physiological Desire Hierarchy, Excretion Desire Section.

Its muscular body is covered in steel-hard fur, and its enormous, razor-sharp claws can slice through diamond with ease.

Normally leisurely and peaceful, it spends most of its time resting underground, but once enraged by certain triggers, it rampages for days, reducing everything around it to ruin.

I read the log and thought,

‘If that mole is the manager… then what the hell is that thing?’

The creature that had offered us safe passage in exchange for fulfilling its “mission.”

All eyes turned toward the dung beetle monster.

Then.

[Hii, HIIIEEEEEEK!]

The dung beetle monster began trembling violently.

At the same time, the Steel-Spiked Mole stomped forward.

THOOM THOOM

[Was this your doing…? I clearly told you. Collect poop, study poop, impersonate the manager—do whatever you want.]

[Hieek! I-I’m sorry, sir! It’s just that…]

[I told you, didn’t I? Just don’t cause me any trouble. And you dump poop right on my head!?]

Its rage seemed to rise in gradients even as it spoke.

The dung beetle frantically rubbed its many arms together.

[Please! Forgive me! I had no idea you were resting there…!]

But.

SQUELCH!

The dung beetle’s words were cut short.

The mole’s front paw had crushed it flat.

Yellowish fluid spread along the grooves of the marble tiles.

The Steel-Spiked Mole let out a monstrous roar.

[I asked who did it! Who pooped on my head! Was it you, sword guy? Or you, fatty? Or maybe you!?]

Snorting furiously, the mole searched for the culprit.

It inspected Cheok Junseong, HardBoiledPC, and then me.

Finally, it shook its head.

[No. No. The smell is different. Sniff… sniff sniff… Wait. This smell…]

The giant mole slowly turned its head, nostrils flaring.

And its gaze stopped.

[It’s you.]

Shin Sodam, the Red Mage Tower Lord, stood there.

Her face flushed crimson, head bowed low.

But only for a moment.

“Fuck.”

A magnificent curse exploded from Shin Sodam.

At the same time, red mana rings began rising one after another.

She snarled.

“Hey! What are you all doing! You’re not gonna kill this bastard? Did we come here to play!? Huh!?”

No one dared argue.

Because flaming orbs looked ready to rain down at any second.

Shin Sodam snapped her fingers.

Then.

WHOOOOSH!

A massive lump of lava formed above her head.

5th-class high-tier fire magic, Lava Meteo.

FWOOSH~! FWOOSH! FWOOOOOSH! FWOOOOSH!

And not just one—five of them.

Ordinary 5th-circle mages struggle to maintain even two Lava Meteos at once.

But Shin Sodam was anything but ordinary.

If a normal mage spends 100 mana to cast a perfect Fireball, Shin Sodam spends only about 20.

Leader of the Red Mage Tower Guild. Korea’s 7th-ranked A+ hunter, Shin Sodam.

She possesses world-class, unparalleled mana control.

In simple terms, she can cast the same spell with far less mana.

And that wasn’t her only strength.

Soon.

GRRRRRRRRR~!!

Like red paint spreading across white paper, the blazing lava spiraled and twisted.

In the blink of an eye, the condensed lava took the shape of an enormous spear.

BUBBLE BUBBLE BUBBLE BUBBLE!

A furiously boiling spear of lava.

Three-pronged blade engraved with flame runes, dark crimson fire roaring endlessly upward.

Red Secret Art, Third Fusion: Ruby Scorching Spear

Shin Sodam swung her index finger toward the Steel-Spiked Mole.

“…Die.”

At the same moment.

KWADDDDDDDDDDDD—!

The lava spears fired all at once.

A rain of molten spears hammered the ground.

KWAKWAKWAKWAKWAKWAKWA!

Marble tiles and plaster pillars melted into black sludge just from being grazed.

Soon, one massive flaming spear pierced straight through the mole’s shoulder.

[KIIIYAAAAAAAAAA—!]

The creature’s left shoulder was engulfed in flames where the Ruby Scorching Spear struck.

Unmatched, overwhelming destructive power.

That was the very reason she ranked 7th among A+ hunters.

As expected.

TUDUDUK! TUDUDUDUDUK~!

The Steel-Spiked Mole’s iron-hard fur turned to black ash and rained down.

The exposed skin and left arm were burned to the bone in patches.

But only for a moment.

[SSSSSSS—]

The mole’s chest swelled like a balloon.

Then it exhaled with ferocious force.

[FWOOOOOOOOOOO—!]

A violent gust blasted away the lava and flames burning its shoulder.

The lava and fire, caught in the wind, surged back toward Shin Sodam.

In that instant, Cheok Junseong stepped forward.

“Goksan Cheok Family, Eighth Form: Whirlwind Darklight Slash”

A vortex erupted from his sword tip, redirecting the lava storm back toward the mole.

The slashing whirlwind and all-melting lava fused, engulfing the Steel-Spiked Mole.

[KIIIYAAAAAAAAAA—!]

Earth-shaking.

Witnessing this heaven-shaking spectacle, I once again realized just how incredible Jeanne was.

She had fought these two on equal footing for an entire week.

‘She survived even when these two and all their subordinates ganged up on her.’

At that moment, the mole spun around and bolted toward the hole it had emerged from.

[I’ll remember this—!]

In an instant, it shoved its upper body into the hole.

Its massive rear wiggled frantically.

Then.

[Take this~!]

Ochre-colored earth and sand began erupting from its rear.

PFFFT! PFFFFFTTTTT~!

No, that wasn’t earth and sand.

“…!”

“…!”

“…!”

“…!”

A stench that made noses rot spread everywhere.

Poop.

The creature was shitting.

And with incredible force!

PFFFFFTTTTTTTTTTTTTT~!

In no time, its excrement began filling the entire corridor.

Then.

CREEEAK—! CREAK—!

The sound of doors opening came from above.

Two massive doors had appeared on the ceiling.

Beyond them, a dark crimson gate shimmered.

If we stayed, we would drown. We had to climb up.

Then.

KWAKWAKWAKWAKWAKWA!

The mole’s excrement surged like a tidal wave.

We quickly split left and right to evade it.

KWAKWAKWAKWAKWAKWAKWA~!

As a result, we were divided into two groups.

Cheok Junseong and HardBoiledPC.

Me and Shin Sodam.

There was no time to regroup.

HardBoiledPC pointed at the ceiling and shouted.

“Let’s go up first! We’ll take this side! You two escape too! Junseong-kun, hurry!”

“…Understood. Shin Sodam! Don’t die.”

HardBoiledPC and Cheok Junseong leaped toward the left gate.

‘That height… I can reach it with a jump too.’

Just as I was about to leap.

“KYAAAAAAAA! I fucking hate thissssss! AAAAAAAAH—!”

Shin Sodam’s scream pierced my eardrums.

At the same time, a heavy weight latched onto my back.

“…!?”

Shin Sodam had clung to me like a koala.

With her mastery of mana, she could easily fly to the ceiling with flight magic.

But.

“H-Hurry! Go up! Hurry! It’s touching me! It’s touching meeee! AAAAAH! HURRY!”

Shin Sodam was clearly panicking.

She must have zero tolerance for filth—she was in full panic mode.

GRRRRRRRRR~!

The excrement wave was already right in front of us.

There was no time to waste.

TAP!

Carrying Shin Sodam on my back, I leaped toward the ceiling gate.

At the same moment.

KWAKWAKWAKWAKWA

The spot where I had stood was swallowed by the poop tsunami.

We had barely escaped the sea of excrement.

“Cleans. Cleans. Cleans, Cleans.”

Shin Sodam frantically cast purification spells.

But there was no time for that.

GRRRRRRRRR~!

We were swallowed by the mana storm of the gate.

The aftermath of the storm clouded my mind.

My vision blurred.

Then.

KUguGuGuGuGu—

Gravity suddenly returned.

It felt like a giant hand yanked my ankle.

We began plummeting headfirst through the open gate.

‘Shin Sodam…’

I painfully turned my head to check on her.

Shin Sodam had passed out, eyes closed.

But she was enveloped in a mana barrier, so she wouldn’t be seriously hurt even if she fell.

The problem was me.

I couldn’t perform a landing roll.

I couldn’t coat my body in mana.

I couldn’t even twitch a finger.

At this rate, I’d smash headfirst—minimum severe injury, maximum death.

At that moment.

PLOP!

Instead of hard floor, I landed on something soft and spongy.

A warm, gentle, squishy sensation.

The comforting embrace wrapped around my entire body, dragging my consciousness away even faster.

Just before I completely blacked out, the last thing my eyes caught was a line of text.

[A Room You Cannot Leave Unless You Do It]

Oh.

This feels extremely, extraordinarily, very ominous?