Is there some kind of invisible thread connecting people? I often ponder this question.
Whenever I get close to strangers, I faintly feel these invisible threads wrapping around my body, only loosening when they move away.
During that time, the words they say and the things they do either intensify or weaken the influence of these threads.
When Gu Fan held my wrist and led me to a quiet corner where no one else was, I realized the heavy garment woven by those threads quickly faded as we distanced ourselves from the crowd.
Normally, being excluded and alone would make me feel some pressure, but at least it wouldn’t feel suffocating. It’s just that these people are close to Gu Fan, which sparked unnecessary thoughts in me.
If only these people had nothing to do with Gu Fan… Why is he so good at making friends?
When I was a kid watching TV, I’d sometimes see female characters who disliked their husbands or partners constantly hanging out with friends or having fun outside. Back then, I didn’t understand why. I just thought they were annoying and in the way. Isn’t it natural to hang out with friends?
It wasn’t until… I became one of those women that I understood their struggles and reasons.
As someone who’s naturally introverted, I rarely had joyful experiences playing with friends. Or rather, the few I did have were all created with Gu Fan. And in my eyes, Gu Fan is no longer just a friend.
I want to be his lover.
A bold thought, isn’t it? Right? But I’m genuinely longing for it from the bottom of my heart and want to take action.
In this overly quiet atmosphere, it’s easy to let my mind wander like I do at home.
The dim blue lighting illuminates the rest of the drink bar, but this corner is an exception. Only occasional specks of light sweep over before quickly moving away, leaving us mostly reliant on the faint glow of reflected light.
Mmm… it’s really nice.
I prop my cheek on my hand, quietly gazing at Gu Fan sitting across from me. He elegantly cuts a small piece of cake with a plastic knife, secures it with a fork, and places it in his mouth.
Just watching him eat makes my appetite surge. More importantly, this beautiful scene is mine alone to enjoy—no one else deserves to see it.
Come to think of it, Gu Fan’s way of eating has always been so relaxed. Not the careless kind of casual, but more like a noble who’s practiced etiquette for years. It’s become second nature, flowing effortlessly without him even realizing it.
Sometimes, I don’t even focus on eating. There’ve been moments when I’m in the middle of a meal, and somehow, I end up admiring Gu Fan’s graceful eating posture, forgetting to chew.
Sigh, what a hassle.
To enjoy a flavorful meal, I need to eat with Gu Fan. But to actually focus on eating properly, I need to keep my distance from him. If only I could have the best of both worlds.
Too much cake can get cloying, so you need a drink to balance it out. After Gu Fan finished his passion fruit juice, he looked at me, probably noticing I’d finished mine too.
“Want something else to drink? Or should we get the same thing again?”
“Mm.”
I feel like my thoughts are becoming easier for others to guess. Once it happens, Gu Fan seems to remember it forever—I’m not sure if that’s a good or bad thing.
I once read online that girls or guys usually don’t like it when their partner responds with something like “whatever’s fine,” because it feels like they’re passing the burden of decision-making onto them, doubling the pressure.
Even though I know Gu Fan probably doesn’t mind these small details, I still feel a bit guilty, thinking I’m causing him unnecessary trouble again.
Well… since I owe him so much, can I keep repaying you, Gu Fan?
As I waited for Gu Fan to return with new drinks, my mind was clouded with a vague haze.
My focus, which had been gathered, scattered again with his absence. The background noise, which I’d managed to block out, came rushing back into my ears, overwhelming and loud.
In settings like this, my mental energy plummets like a drill with an engine, rapidly depleting.
At first, I can muster some effort to stay engaged, but soon I’m too exhausted to keep thinking.
This isn’t exactly social anxiety—it’s just that I’m not suited for socializing. Normally, as long as it doesn’t involve Gu Fan, my emotions are relatively stable, and I can manage most conversations.
Idly picking at my nails, my wandering thoughts drifted to a female classmate I saw earlier. Her nails were coated with shiny polish.
Come to think of it… I still don’t know how Gu Fan feels about girls with or without makeup.
They say guys often use white lies to make their partners happy when faced with this question. The thought makes me worry that Gu Fan might sweet-talk me like that, but part of me secretly hopes for it too.
But with Gu Fan’s personality, even if I asked him about other things, it’d probably be hard to know what he truly thinks, right?
One of Gu Fan’s strengths is that he’s very respectful. That’s why he can tolerate so many of my weird behaviors and quirks.
But because he’s so polite, it’s hard to figure out what he actually likes or dislikes. Everything is hidden behind the excuse of “whatever you like is fine.”
That’s Gu Fan’s least charming trait. If he were only like that with others but completely open with me, that would be his most charming quality.
Clack, clack.
Despite the chaotic noise around me, I could still hear those steady, confident footsteps approaching at a calm pace.
I wanted to stay composed and wait until he sat down before speaking, but my body betrayed me, eagerly turning to look. Gu Fan was carrying a large tray filled with all sorts of things, looking quite heavy.
“Gu Fan, let me help you carry it.”
Having the birthday boy fetch drinks for me was shameless. Only now did I realize my mistake. I hurriedly stood up to help ease his burden, but he shook his head and declined.
“It’s fine, these things aren’t heavy.”
As Gu Fan said, the items on the tray were steady, not even wobbling. Feeling guilty, I followed him back to our seats.
Sigh, I was so caught up in my thoughts that I didn’t go with him to get the food. I wonder what people would say if they saw this.
I don’t care what others think of me. I’m just worried that Gu Fan might be bothered by their gossip. So, yeah, sometimes love isn’t just about two people—you have to consider others too… What a hassle. Ugh, so annoying.
Secretly cursing those meddlesome people in my heart, I put on a gentle smile and thanked Gu Fan for making the trip.
Gu Fan waved it off, not saying much, and handed me a bottle of green-packaged drink. On closer inspection, it was refreshing green tea.